09/18/2005 10:11 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

News Update for Sept. 18

President Bush says the rebuilding of the Gulf Coast areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina will be one of the largest reconstruction efforts ever seen. Almost as large as the effort to rebuild his Administration’s credibility.

The President says it will cost what it will cost, but he insists on keeping his tax cuts in place. The poor have already suffered enough. Why should the rich have to suffer, too?

The President also says the money to pay for reconstruction will have to come from other federal programs. Like FEMA? They don’t seem to have done much with their budget.

Michael Brown resigns as Director of FEMA. Whatta surprise! I wouldn’t put that job on my resume if I were you, Brownie. Maybe you can get a job where your talents can be put to good use, like looking for WMD in Iraq.

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay says all the cuts that can be made in federal programs have already been made.

Question: What’s the difference between cockroaches and pork? DeLay knows how to eliminate cockroaches.

In his radio address, Bush appeals to God for help in the rebuilding effort. God’s help would have been more useful before the storm.

Internet joke: What’s Bush’s position on Roe v. Wade? Answer: Either. He doesn’t care how poor people get out of New Orleans.

Bush’s nephew and Jeb Bush’s son arrested for public intoxication. Another Bush presidency in the future?

Senate holds hearings on appointment of Judge John Roberts to be Chief Justice of the United States. Global warming exacerbated by all that hot air emanating from the Capitol.

Hearings held in same month as new movie version of “Oliver Twist” comes out. Appropriate. They both feature the Artful Dodger.

Bill Clinton presides over Clinton Global Initiative in New York City as UN General Assembly opens. Running for President of the World?

Summit agenda includes reducing world poverty, resolving religious conflicts, affecting climate change and improving governance. What, no cure for cancer?

Delta and Northwest Airlines file for bankruptcy. Seems they’ve been losing more than your luggage.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says to voters, “I’ll be back.” Voters seem more inclined to be Terminators.

Martha Stewart returns to TV and gets a lesson in rap from Diddy. Nice try, Martha, but you’re still the most boring person on television-- with the exception of Ben Stein.

Diddy is now Diddy after being Puff Daddy and P. Diddy among other names. Is the name Prince still taken?

Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher grants a blanket pardon to current and former aides charged in a grand jury investigation into his administration’s hiring practices. Is Richard Nixon somewhere wondering why he didn’t think of that?

More than 250 deaths in Iraq last week. Can the media walk and chew gum at the same time?