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Nov. 6 News Update

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Campaign 2006 ends on Tuesday. Both sides predicting victory. Real significance? It's safe to turn on your TV again on Wednesday.

Campaign 2006 ends on Tuesday. Local TV stations lament end of advertising bonanza.

Campaign 2006 ends on Tuesday. So much mud slung. So little time to clean up. Makes Katrina look benign. New Jersey goes from Garden State to Slime State.

President Bush says Campaign 2006 is not about him. That must be why he appears in so many Democratic campaign ads.

Last ditch Republican campaign ploy: Obama rhymes with Osama.

Bush tells Democrats not to count their winners until votes are tallied. And he's somebody who knows about premature exultation, as in Mission Accomplished.

Bush celebrates Halloween by masquerading as President. Cheney celebrates Halloween by masquerading as President. Rumsfeld celebrates Halloween by masquerading, period.

Cheney claims violence in Iraq tied to US elections. Maybe he hasn't noticed that we haven't held elections every day for the past three years.

Senator John Kerry screws up joke about Bush being stupid enough to get us bogged down in Iraq, misinterpreted as imputing stupidity to American troops stuck in Iraq. Swift boats himself. Advisers work to get foot out of mouth by 2008.

Kerry claims it was a botched joke about Bush. Better botching a joke than botching a war.

Bush Administration shifts strategy in Iraq to securing Baghdad. Iraq government demands end to checkpoints in Baghdad. Now that's the kind of democracy we're fighting for.

Neocon Richard Perle blast Bush Administration for incompetence in Iraq. Means he didn't profiteer enough?

Perle joined by other Neocons, like Kenneth Adelman and David Frum in excoriating Bush's handling of war. Rats deserting sinking ship?

Evangelist leader Ted Haggard, a spiritual adviser to President Bush who's accused of having gay sex, admits to sexual immorality, says he's a "deceiver and a liar." So maybe that's where Bush gets his lying and deceiving from?

Saddam Hussein sentenced to death by hanging. Interesting timing. If death sentence in Iraq works like death sentence in US, Hussein will die in his sleep of natural causes.

Haggard says he did buy meth, but didn't use it. And he didn't inhale.

Saddam Hussein sentenced to death by hanging. Not in our lifetime.

Conservative loony Ann Coulter being investigated for voting in wrong precinct. Since she gets everything else wrong, why not her voting place?

Reports show plunge in newspaper circulation. No surprise. If you keep putting out a product that requires people to read, why would you not expect a sharp decline?

KFC says it will remove trans fat from its deep fried chicken? So where do I go now to get my arteries clogged?

President of Gallaudet University, a school for the deaf, resigns after protesters prevail in their campaign to oust her, saying she doesn't listen to their demands. Listen??? She's deaf!!!!!

Campaign placards in Connecticut proclaim, "I'm Sticking With Joe." Opponents doctor them to say, "Stick It To Joe," or "I'm Stinking With Joe." Democrats agree, but newly-proclaimed Independent Joe Lieberman will be re-elected by Republicans.

Laura Bush turns 60. Republicans blame Clinton.