10/01/2007 02:21 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

October 1, 2007 News Update

Prez-ih-dent Bush speeks at You-Nigh-Ted Nay-Shuns.

Discussing education bill, Bush says "Childrens do learn." Official White House transcript makes the "s" disappear. Press Secretary Dana Perino explains: "The integrity of the transcripts are very important to me...." It are?

Iranian President Ahmadinejad also speaks at UN. Late-night comedians rejoice.

Ahmadinejad appears at Columbia University before UN speech, says Iran has no homosexuals. Maybe because they've all been executed.

Also says more "research" needed to verify Holocaust. How about doing research by meeting with some Holocaust survivors?

Columbia President attacks Ahmadinejad, introduces him as "cruel and petty dictator." Should've stuck to Freedom of Speech approach.

CBS newsman Mike Wallace wins Emmy for 60 Minutes interview with Ahmadinejad. What category? Interviewer as doormat? Charlie Rose does good job of emulating Wallace.

Rudy Giuliani says his campaign won't accept donations of $9.11 as suggested by Republican fund-raisers in California. But contributions of $9,110 are OK.

Hillary Clinton appears on all five Sunday morning talk shows, introduces new campaign tactic--belly laughs.

Appears on Newsweek cover with headline, "What Kind of Decider Would She Be"? Hey, isn't there still an election to be held?

Democratic candidates conduct another debate--considered a success because no one was tasered.

Leading Republican presidential candidates skip debate on issues of concern to black voters. To make up for it, Bill O'Reilly eats in Harlem restaurant. Finds there wasn't "any kind of craziness of all." And he did enjoy the meatloaf.

Value of US dollar continues to decline, now THAT'S an impeachable offense.

Phil Spector trial in Los Angeles ends in mistrial. He can now go play golf with OJ Simpson and Robert Blake.

Colorado Sen. Larry Craig returns to Congress. Tells Senate, "I can't quit you."

Brokeback Mountain to be made into musical. Remake of Gay Caballero?

Barry Bonds won't return to Giants next year. But will he leave his steroids in San Francisco?

New York Mets blow 7-game lead with 17 games to play, miss play-offs. The Amazin's become Amazin's DisGrace, courtesy of NY Post.

Marcel Marceau dies. Genius of silence silenced.