Sept. 7, 2009, News Update

10/23/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011


President Obama resumes interrupted vacation at Camp David. Lot cheaper than Martha's Vineyard.

President gives speech on education. For all those children left behind.

Unemployment reaches 9.7%. The only good news is that it includes George W. Bush.

Fraud alleged in Afghan election. Who could have seen that coming? But give Afghan government credit...It came up with novel means of corruption. Set up fake polling places which recorded thousands of votes for President Karzai. Not even Chicago pols thought of that.

Obama to give speech outlining views on health care reform. How about a speech on why we're still in Afghanistan?

Former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barack indicted on corruption charges. His former finance minister serving time for embezzlement. Another former aide charged with illegal wiretapping and fraud. Israel's former President being tried on rape and sexual harassment charges. Who does Israel think it is, Afghanistan?

Israeli government approves construction of hundreds of new homes in occupied West Bank. How do you say, "Up yours, Obama " in Hebrew?

Former Sen. Bob Dole urges Obama to present own health care reform plan. What difference does it make? Republicans will oppose cure for cancer if offered by Obama.

David Letterman offers top 10 list giving top 10 ways to irritate Dick Cheney. How come he didn't get Cheney to deliver it?

Trial balloon floated suggesting Cheney might be candidate for President in 2012. Floated by Cheney? Or by Democrats? Would he run on pro-torture platform?

Manson killer Susan Atkins, terminally ill with brain cancer, denied parole. Too bad for her she's not imprisoned in Scotland.

British official admits "oil and trade" involved in decision to release Libyan terrorist jailed for Lockerbie bombing. So it wasn't "compassion" after all-unless you consider compassion for British oil companies. And enough of the "I told you so" from the cynics.

Female Sudanese journalist jailed for wearing pants. Guess it doesn't take much to make Sudanese men feel threatened.

Oliver Stone movie about Hugo Chavez screened in Venice. Bet you didn't know Chavez is illegitimate son of Fidel Castro.

South African sprinter Caster Semenya to undergo gender test after setting record in women's race. Would this happen if he/she didn't have "semen" in her name? Consulting Pat to see if Saturday Night Live gig possible.

Diane Sawyer to replace Charlie Gibson as anchor on ABC's "World News Tonight." From White House flunkie to TV top. You've come a long way, baby.

Who was it who said, one female anchor, breakthrough, two female anchors, cat fight? Some sexist, no doubt. Lone male anchor Brian Williams salivating.

Woman kidnapped at 11 by convicted sex offender finally discovered after 18 years. Local authorities and police must have had same training as SEC officials who ignored warnings about Bernie Madoff.

Levi Johnston disses never-became mother-in-law Sarah Palin in Vanity Fair. In Vanity Fair? Barbarians at the gate indeed.