Fifty-four years after publication, Ayn Rand's magnum opus, Atlas Shrugged, has hit the big screen, opening to modest success by independent film standards. It is currently #6 on Amazon, and the "second most influential book for Americans today" according to a Library of Congress and Book of the Month Club survey. Millions of readers from across the political spectrum (including many well-known celebrities) have read Atlas and publicly acknowledge the positive contributions of Ayn Rand's novels to their happiness and pursuit of excellence.
Atlas Shrugged's position on politics, society, and self-interest draws cheers and jeers, and many people part company with the author on various issues. What inspires most fans, and a reason for its enduring popularity, is its noble vision of remaining true to cherished values. It is a vision that divorced parents can embrace to resist powerful temptations to trash an ex.
The novel offers three touchstones for a mindful approach to parenting: 1) the power of reason to guide moral choices, 2) the importance of accepting responsibility for our actions, and 3) the need to remain true to our highest values.
Celebrity divorces offer the most visible examples of parents who suspend reason while indulging destructive impulses. In the process, they sacrifice their children's well being for the momentary relief of blowing off steam. With the Internet archiving, in perpetuity, regrettable embarrassing moments for their kids and peers to read, imagine the schoolyard taunts. "Your Mommy said your Daddy is just a sperm donor." "Your Daddy thinks your Mommy is a poor excuse for a mother."
Even when non-celebrities sling mud away from the pubic eye, but within the kids' view, this leaves an indelible imprint on the children's psyches. Ill chosen words, once spoken, cannot be removed from your child's memory.
The next time you feel tempted to gratify a vindictive desire to humiliate an ex or to voice your disappointment in your former lover, instead act responsibly and let reason and your commitment to your children dominate your choices. Being rational does not mean denying hostile wishes. It does mean finding a way to deal with the feelings without damaging children. It means not allowing hatred for an ex to crowd out more positive, protective and loving feelings for your kids.
Looking back on their behavior during the divorce, many parents regret their words and deeds. Rand's vision of the heroic potential in all of us can inspire parents to stay on the high road. Be the best parent you can be.
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What if your highest values suck as hard as Ayn Rand's did?
But I fail to see how the senitment you are expressing (which I agree with) has anything to do with what Ayn Rand stood for.
I know. I did this continuously. I kept my mouth shut. I "turned the other cheek". I used the power of reason to guide my moral choices. I accepted responsibility for my actions, and I remained true to highest values. And, you know what???? I got screwed by a toxic ex-wife that destroyed the relationship with my children (as the Court wrote in its order when it found her in contempt, but did not reverse custody), and she successfully alienated them from me. I haven't spoken to my children (twins) since 1996 (15 years ago). They are 29 years of age. My door has always been open. They know where I live. They have my phone number. But, nothing. So, I've moved on with my life because I know I did everything I could to foster a relationship with my children, but because of my toxic ex-wife, it was not to be.
we can rest asured that libertarian and conservative parents can cozy up at night to good ol' Ayn and have a fine read learning to reject faith, altruism and religion.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
But learning how to give yourself over to the best interests of your child from her? The morality of ration self-interest?
Ed Baker shrugs.
Really, in the end, the weight and heft of personal values are determined by people themselves. I believe part of the problem is that others tell parents learning to live apart to not sweat the small stuff, put their kids first, find their higher selves. Yet this is an impossible and short-term task. The longer-term work really has to acknowledge that all values hold equal importance, and that parents who take good care of themselves physically, emotionally and mentally are better parents.
We should move away from the finger-wagging method of telling people to put their kids first because it is the cliche tiny bandaid on the big, gaping wound, and it only covers up a piece of the problem.
While trickle-down economics is a tremendous failure, trickle-down parenting is a great success. Being healthy and recognizing your own values as important as the other parent's and the children's is the harder, but more satisfying, work. Of course we look to protect our children as a first priority. That goes more to safety and to power imbalances, as well as to parental responsibility. But the value-based work is more complex and honest.
However, my thoughts HOW we approach this likely differ with most others in the field. I believe that building parents up to help them be the positive role model by caring for their needs brings the long-term postive family dynamics all divorce field professional seek to improve.
But, I think the reason for its broad appeal among readers across the political spectrum (Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, Rob Lowe, Dennis Miller, John Stossel, to name just a few celebrities: for a list see http://www.atlassociety.org/tni/celebrity-rand-fans) is that the heroes stand up for their beliefs and resist external pressures to conform and internal pressures to indulge whims at the expense of what is right and just.
People from all walks of life, regardless of the exact nature of their personal or professional struggles, draw fuel from Rand’s novels to make wise choices. When you are angry with an ex, and disappointed in the failure of the marriage, it is tempting to give voice to these feelings while temporarily losing sight of your child’s needs to maintain a healthy relationship with both parents. A vision of inner strength, integrity, and a strong sense of right and wrong motivates parents to summon these traits when faced with choices about how to handle tough times and tough feelings in the best way possible for their children. Many readers find this vision in Ayn Rand’s characters, and it helps them make the right choice and resist divorce poison.
Guess it was moral for all the "people who knew better" to go to Galt's Gulch. Guess they accepted responsibility for what happened to the rest of us folks with average IQ's and average lives (NOT). If selfishness is your highest value, then, yes, Dagney Taggart, Richard Reardon and John Galt all remained true to their highest values.
It is 1300 pages long and countless hours in audio format but a 20th century classic. It should be a must read for young minds in college/university. Hopefully, the movie will get to Canada after the Cannes Film festival.
She saw a world where there was only individual license, without any realistic moral restraint or community responsibility....and totalitarianism. With nothing in between.
The fact that she could not see how individual freedom and community responsibility could be balanced in a healthy fashion with respect to all concerned, doesn't mean that such a balance is not possible.
Only that the limitations of her life experience prevented HER from seeing how it was possible.
Rand's writing is a polemic about selfishness...rationalized by coating it with a veneer of respectability. By insisting that is is a principled stand for the "indvidual" by denying any responsibility to the community in which that individual is a part.
You hit the nail right on the head, Dr. Warshak. Those who engage in parental alienation tactics engage in all forms of hostility, lies and denigration of the other parent in front of the children over and over again as a way of revenge. And you know what? This only hurts the children. When a judge takes a child away from a parent that engages in such hostile behavior, I feel only sorrow for the children, not the hate-filled parent. A child is half of both parents, so when one parent tears down the other, you are tearing down half the child. Now, that is an act of hatred toward your own child.