In every life, reminders arrive about what's really important.
I've recently received one myself, in a form that's already come to countless people and will come to countless more: news of a potentially serious health problem. My semi-annual dermatology mole check turned up a localized melanoma cancer in my ear that will need to come out immediately. The prognosis is very positive -- this thing is "non-invasive" -- but it's certainly an intimation of mortality. Hopefully, this particular bullet will whiz by, but it's an uncomfortably concrete message that sooner or later something will catch up with each one of us.
Personally, I am doing alright with this. It's like there are three layers to my mind as I write, just a few days after I got the news. The top is focused on problem-solving. Beneath that there's a furry little animal that's upset and wants to curl up with loved ones. The bottom feels accepting, peaceful and grateful.
Naturally enough, after the bullet passes -- maybe taking a bit of your ear with it! -- you reflect on your life, both past and to come. Of course, you don't need a health scare -- which in my case is small potatoes compared to what so many people around the world must deal with -- to consider what you care about most. Then you appreciate the things you've honored so far, and you see where you could center yourself more in what's truly important to you.
While it's good advice not to sweat the small stuff, we also need to nurture the large stuff. There are many good reasons to do so, from simply enjoying yourself to recognizing the truth that one day you'll have just "A Year to Live," the title of Stephen Levine's haunting book. You'll never know when you step over the invisible line and the countdown begins, 365 days left, then ... but you can know, before and after you cross it, that you've remembered the big things.
- In this life, what do you really care about?
- You. The sweet soft vulnerable innerness upon which both the chocolate kisses and sharp darts of life land. Your own well-being. What you make of what the poet Mary Oliver has called "your one wild and precious life."
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of the bestselling Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom (in 21 languages). Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he's taught at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and in meditation centers in Europe, North America, and Australia. His work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, Consumer Reports Health, and U.S. News and World Report. His blog - Just One Thing - suggests a simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind and heart. If you wish, you can subscribe to Just One Thing here.