Formerly Famous: Bush Makes His Pitch

"It was a strike," he says. "A perfect strike."

And then, just in case she wasn't listening, he says it again, with a little more volume.

"A perfect strike."

She looks up from her book.

"That's nice, George."

"And it had something on it, too! Not one of those lollipop throws you always get from those other guys."

"Very nice, George," she says. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." She returns to her reading. He tries to return to his. The effort lasts only seconds.

"A lot of guys mess it up completely, you know. They bounce it in, or they throw it so high, the catcher's gotta jump way up in the air for it. That's no way to throw out a first pitch, am I right?"

She looks up again.

"I'm sure you did a really good job of it, George."

"Or skipping it completely. Opening Day at the ballpark, you should be there! You shouldn't be gallivanting all over the world making speeches and stuff."

"Now, George..." There's a hint of menace in her voice. She's heard this song before, and she doesn't much like the chorus.

"I know," he says. "I know."

"Good."

"But sometimes it just gets to me, that's all. Like he can't do anything wrong!"

"Now, George," she says. "You promised. You have to let it drop."

"Fine," he says. "Fine."

But it isn't fine. Not even close.

Today it's the confidence numbers. The American people are starting to feel confident again, the latest polls are saying. Confident about the economy, and confident that the country is going in the right direction again.

The numbers aren't huge, but compared to where they were even a few months ago, there's been a big jump. A big jump from when he was running things, that is -- not that he's taking it personally. Except when other people -- friends of his! (or so they keep telling him) -- try to explain away the new guy's numbers.

"Well, what did you expect?" they say. "The bar's been set so low the past few years, all this new guy has to do to impress the American people is look halfway smart and not embarrass us every time he opens his mouth!"

It's hard not to take that personally.

And, of course, it's not just Americans who are making the comparison. Anywhere the new guy goes, anywhere in the world, the newspapers dig up some "senior official" who tells them what a "relief" it is to be dealing with someone from the United States who "understands" them, and isn't always "lecturing" them.

It's hard not to take that personally, too. And if most of the crowds that turn out in foreign capitals these days are cheering for the new guy instead of burning him in effigy --

Still, there's no point in berating himself about it; there's more to being president than being popular. And anyway, there's plenty of time for things to sort themselves out.

"He's still in that honeymoon period," he reassures himself. "Just wait till he starts having problems -- then see where his numbers go."
He snickers to himself. (She hates it when he snickers out loud.) He snickers to himself and says it again.

"Just wait."

He turns back to his book, and immediately turns away. She looks up to see him almost smiling, and staring into the middle distance.

"It was a perfect strike," he says.

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.