Humble or Bumble? Obama's New Diplomacy

If the Bluster Years are really over, what'll we do for fun?

I mean, what's the point of being the Number One country in the whole wide world if you can't tell the whole wide world where to stick it? When the going gets tough, the tough get pushy -- that's the way it's always been, and that's the way it's supposed to be.

And all of a sudden, we're supposed to...listen? To them?

We've got more weapons than anybody. (We've got more weapons than everybody.) We've also got responsibilities in every corner of the planet, not that we asked for them -- it just comes with being Number One. And the first responsibility, in every corner of the planet, is to take no guff. What we say goes. What we want we get, or we're taking names.

And now all of a sudden, we're supposed to find...consensus? We're supposed to try to see things from somebody else's perspective?

Where's the fun in that?

If somebody else's perspective had been worth considering, it would have been our perspective already, right? We wouldn't have had to wait for somebody else to open our eyes and tell us what's what. We tell them what's what -- that's the whole point. We sit them down and we tell them how it's going to be.

If we even bother to sit them down.

When you're Number One, you don't sit down with just everybody. Sitting down with us isn't a right, it's a privilege. You have to earn your way to the table, and you don't do it by ticking us off. You do it by behaving yourself.

And now all of a sudden, we're supposed to make time for every tin-pot nobody with two missiles to rub together? We're supposed to find out what's on their mind? We're supposed to see whether we can do business together?

It was never like that in the Bluster Years.

We had better things to do than waste our time talking to people like that, or even going to conferences where people like that might show up, just so we might bump into them in the hallway and figure out what they're thinking and maybe even do a little deal about something or other just to get the ball rolling.

We don't have to get the ball rolling. It's our ball, and we can take it and go home any time we want. Or at least we could during the Bluster Years.

You were either with us, or you were against us, and we didn't tie ourselves in knots figuring out who was in which category. It was simple. Everything was simple. The money was always in dollars. The conversation was always in English. We apologized for nothing, and we had nothing to apologize for.

And now all of a sudden, the president -- the president of the United States, mind you -- is telling foreigners that we screw up from time to time. That we've gone our own way much too often. That we've been arrogant!

Like we don't have a hundred perfectly good reasons to be arrogant.

Next thing you know, he'll be apologizing for us speaking English. Bad enough he keeps sticking foreign words into his foreign speeches just to show them he "gets it" or something. What's next? We'll all have to talk Turkish? We'll all have to think like Iranians?

It was so much better when we ran everything.

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Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at [e-mail].

Comments

[Aimee Kligman]

Because I felt that way too many people would read this as a serious piece, I posted this on Examiner.com where I author the foreign policy view for New York:

Foreign Policy: A satirical response to Horowitz's bumble diplomacy - the link: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-2086-NY-Foreign-Policy-Examiner~y2009m4d17-Foreign-Policy-a-look-at-Horowitz-take-on-Obamas-new-policy

[Hopeington]

The satire thing just isn't working for me. There is so much stuff out there that reads just like this, that's serious. I don't find the humor in any of that either.

[StillIRise]

I agree. If this was satire, I would hate to read a serious piece on this subject.

[karela]

Everybody that takes a meeting with Obama says that he listens. And if you follow closely what he says when he speaks, you'll notice that he's learned a thing or three while he was listening.

[verycold]

While I get the intent of the article, I actually think we still will only pretend to listen. Obama pays a lot of lip service to listening when in fact he and his troops have already made up their minds. They just want to appear open to ideas. Bush didn't bother with all that pretending and just muddled through knocking down anybody in his way. Obama isn't knocking anybody down, he just sidesteps them as if they never really mattered.

If you voted for Obama you naturally feel represented and thus feel he is inclusive. I didn't vote for him, not that either candidate filled me with hope, and thus far this administration has made decisions that most of the time I strongly disagree with. The decision to ALLOW the Seals to use force I 100 percent agreed with. The decision to consider another policy towards Cuba seems reasonable since times are a changing. I will certainly applaud all things that we can agree on, but unfortunately his economic decisions make my head spin.

[LeftLeanWing]

Even though I disagree with you.. I can empathize.­. Over the last 8 years I felt the same way and nothing or no one could change my mind

"..... his economic decisions make my head spin...."
His economic plan is not Pain Free and most of us were not expecting it be. But there were no Pain Free alternatives. Our nation lost around $16Trillion in asset value in short period of time. Something or somebody had to give. When the Free Credit and Consumer Markets freezes up , then the Federal government is the only entity large enough to get them started again.

As far as Obama giving lip services is concerned.­.. PRESIDENT OBAMA is doing exactly what he stated he would do during the campaign ( Ok, with some slight variations ). But the President sets the agenda , discussions are intended to decide, if it should get done, detail plans of How it gets do and how do we pay for it.

What I don't understand is there are people like you who says that he doesn't listen and then there are those that he compromises and listens to much. ( He's an appeaser, he'll sit down with out preconditions etc.)

Now my head is spinning too !

[IndependentTogether]

This satire reminds me of the Republican mantra that Obama is making us weaker with his "Smart Power" tactics. They fear that we have to get ready for a "Post America" world where we are no longer a super power. It's gotten so bad that even liberals/p­rogressive­s are starting to believe it; I watched Bill Maher parrot this line on Real Time last week.

What is wrong with this whole idea is that they don't realize that Obama is actually making us STRONGER, not weaker. Bush's arrogance is what made us weaker by making our enemies more powerful and damaging our relationships with our allies. This, in turn, fostered negative sentiment towards America which not only affects tourism and commerce, but it also negatively affects the sociopolitical landscape. Continuing down that negative path for much longer would surely have made matter significantly more worse.

By contrast, Obama has been seeking to engage the world with a more positive and conciliatory tone. He knows full well that if America once again becomes the beacon of hope and stability, we will regain the support of people around the world. This will not only have positive socioecono­mic/politi­cal affect in America, it will serve to create a better model for other countries to follow.

It really does feel good to have grown-ups in charge.

[karela]

Oh Yeah, it is so nice to have a grown up in charge. So this is what it looks and feels like when the President is truly a leader. Wow!

[MPeter]

We bullied everyone and exposed our own stoopidity when W, Cheney and co decided to piss inside our own tent and kept us hostage to the stoopid color-coded so-called terror alert system. Do you miss that?

[jhamm1]

Ah the nostalgia, when we could perpetuate everything we wanted to "because we can". We can bully, threaten, and intimidate the world into accomodating our point-of-view because we were "Number One". And if they didn't like us bombing and instituting military strikes on half of the earth's surface just because we felt like it, "Tough!!"

Those were the good old days.

Seriously, though, our contusion of nationalism and right-wing zealotry honed to perfection during the past 8 years serves as a perfect example of what happens when parents spoil a toddler with all the material luxuries in the world, apply no discipline, and imply that you can get whatever you want in life with your fist.

The alien concept of maturity will be something that die-hard conservatives will find the most difficult to contend with.

Our days of being the big, tough, spoiled, undisciplined school-yard bully of the international community have finally passed.

[silverball]

....finall­y....thank god...or someone...­...

[Tracy Hale]

Well said...it'­s time for America(ns) to grow up. I mean, we ARE over 230 years old now, its time to behave like adults and play nice with others.

[LeftLeanWing]

and the others are our much older siblings , some existing as a civilization and culture for 5 or 6 millennia. They have to feel someone annoyed that this young upstart of a country wants to set and enforce all of the rules and then get belligerent when they don't comply.