Like many 51 year old men, I'm always happy to be introduced to a 44 year old ex-beauty queen, especially one whose interest in politics may be deeper than, such as, U.S America.
I'd been flirting for more than a year with an older woman, Hillary Clinton. But now with her off the market, the timing of this new girl, this Sarah Palin, couldn't be better.
Admittedly, our interests are more dis than E-Harmony. My profile explains that I'm more into Darwin than Adam. And her being a lifetime member in the NRA is in complete contradiction to my 'meet me motto:' "Chances are, if there was no second amendment, no one could pass a bill to put guns on the street." But how can I not give a chance to one who inspires bumper stickers like, "Coldest State, Hottest Governor."
I read the notes on her profile that she may not have enough experience to be a heartbeat away from being the commander in chief. But the way I see it, if John McCain no longer thought national security was an important enough issue to have someone with decades of foreign policy experience, why should I?
Sadly, I missed my first chance to say hello, I was working on Friday when Sen. McCain first tried to put us together. So I kept looking for her on cable until I finally found her Sunday night in an exclusive CNBC interview with Maria Bartiromo.
So I poured myself into my couch and got ready to fall in love, or at least for their sake, 90 days of lust. But within five minutes, it was my twenties all over again, getting excited for dinner with a girl who was so damn pretty, then ten minutes into it wondering what the hell was I thinking because she obviously wasn't.
What I heard was an hour of Governor Palin giving me every conceivable reason -- I'm understating it, she included a few I thought were inconceivable -- why the answer to my future is more and more oil. She wants me to forget that someday our oil supplies will end and the best way to conserve our most precious resource is to find alternative ways to power up, ignore anyone who may be concerned with the ecology of the drilling and exploitation of oil. Forget religion, forget guns; what I or this country cannot afford is another administration in love with oil.
I began the weekend with the hope of finding a new crush, and instead it just took me further and further away from an old one. I'd long lost the tingle when Ms. Bartiromo would flash upon my screen, but her sycophantic softballs had me furious. Why would CNBC allow their 'star' interviewer to be part of an infomercial with a governor who clearly shills for the oil industry? And why would the network be so proud to rerun something with so little journalistic integrity?
Maybe the old adage is right, that you can't replace your first love. I've been a sucker for Caroline Kennedy since we both were kids, maybe she'll run soon.