By Allah! You will confront the unbelievers and ... make frowny faces!
Today is Day 3 of "Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week" Awareness Week. There is much to report, including the recruitment of former Senator Rick Santorum into the ranks of anti-Muslim fighters. (Those who consider Santorum an intellectual lightweight in this area would do well to read his highly-respected treatise, "The Sexual Exploitation of Canines in the Muslim World.")
But our real headline comes from Wellsley College, the Massachusetts women's school that has become a front in the Clash of Civilizations.
Ex-Muslim author Nonie Darwish was not heckled, attacked, or confronted when she spoke there recently. Oh, no. The Jihadis are too smart for that. Instead, as Phyllis Chesler informs us, Muslim girls "rolled their eyes" - and several of them took "bathroom breaks."
O, believers! Your determination will turn the Ladies' Room into a citadel of freedom!
"They have perfected their intimidation and disruption techniques," says Darwish - techniques Chesler calls "mean girl" tactics. No. I'm not kidding. Read it for yourself. And lest you think that Phyllis Chesler's bigoted, she also informs us that Darwish is "dramatically thrilling (as so many Arabs can be)."
Also, this just in: Negroes sure can dance.
But, you ask, where did these young women learn these bone-chilling techniques?
"They are Hamas-trained," says Darwish.
Laugh if you like, liberal appeasers, but the truth is finally out: Not only has Hamas infiltrated Wellsley, but Jihadists have seized all those Western institutions once know as "girls' schools." The Mahdi Army has Vassar. Hezbollah's got Sarah Lawrence. And Fatah, which has been on a run of bad luck lately, was left with the Western College for Women.
"Mean girls." How fiendishly clever! What could strike more fear into the heart of an unbeliever than the sight of young women in hijab acting like Lindsay Lohan? We'll do anything you want, Arab extremists! Just don't let them drive!
That's not all that's new with our freedom fighters on the Islamo-Fascist front. Yesterday Mona Charen dismissed a peace letter to the Pope from 138 Muslim clerics. She says it wasn't good enough because they didn't protest terrorists and extremists by name, criticize Ahmadinejad, or affirm the right of non-Muslims to live in peace and dignity. If they had, Ms. Charen says sarcastically, that would have been "historic."
Oh, sure. She could tell you all of those things have already been done - repeatedly - by Muslim leaders. She could point you to this comprehensive list of Muslim fatwas and statements against terrorism, or let you know about the European Muslims who challenged Ahmadinajad over the Holocaust - but that would only encourage the Wellsley hordes. Mona knows better than that.
Don't combat terror with better intelligence, diplomacy, and police work. Don't support moderate Muslims working to emancipate oppressed women in cultures where Islam is the dominant religion. Alienate them - or better yet, pretend they don't exist.
Experts who endorse building Muslim alliances and improving our intel capability obviously don't know what Phyllis Chesler does: The real threat is lurking in Ivy League women's dorms. The enemy's new tools are pouting, whispering, making faces, and going to the bathroom. Don't you know what that means? Terrorist tactics are now indistinguishable from the way teenaged girls and sorority sisters have behaved since time immemorial.
That's how clever these fiends are.
Are you still doubtful? You won't be for long. Rick Santorum explains it all in his new book, "God and Man on Dog at Yale."
Follow Richard (RJ) Eskow on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rjeskow