A month ago, I was on my way home and I got a blowout; I heard a "bang," and the left front tire of my car went flat. This misfortune happened in a neighborhood setting, so I was able to pull off the road easily. That was fortunate, but I didn't see it that way. What I did notice was that I did not have a spare tire and my cell phone was dead. How was I to call AAA? What good is it to have AAA if I can't call them! "One misfortune after another," I thought. Or was it? After engaging in a little self-pity, I decided to take action.
I walked across the street and knocked on several of the neighborhood house doors. I was hoping someone might let me make a call to AAA. It was the middle of the day, and no one answered until the fourth house; an elderly gentleman came to the door, in his late 80s I suspect. He spoke very little English and I spoke no Chinese, so it took me a few moments to explain my plight.
What a wonderful experience this misfortune became. The elderly gentleman invited me in, pointed to the telephone, and went into the kitchen. By the time I finished making my call, he was back with two bowls of shrimp dumpling soup -- homemade. One bowl for me and one for him.
The two of us had a great lunch together. And because of his receptive, calm and compassionate attitude, I found myself undergoing a complete transformation of mood. What a delight! I watched my attitude go from "why is this happening to me" to "wow, this misfortune has turned to something unique and new."
Within 30 minutes, AAA arrived and I was on my way. On the way home it occurred to me that when I'm willing to accept misfortunes without wailing out, I free myself up to move beyond it and grow.
I've even gone back to visit my new friend, Chongan. What I considered a misfortune turned into good fortune, and I now have an interesting new friend.
Every time I share the story, it seems a new lesson pops into my head. One such lesson is, "When I don't stew over the adversity, oftentimes I find myself smiling over the results. I do precisely that when sharing this incident with friends.
Here's a few other lessons this one experience has offered me:
- When something is taken from me, if I'm patient, oftentimes something better is given to me.
- Life can be a fascinating jigsaw puzzle if I allow it to be.
- I can't change what happened but I can change what happens in me, which has an impact on what happens next.
I wonder what it would be like if we treated every common misfortune like an unexpected guest that may just offer us good fortune. It seems that this practice has become lost in a world where complaining has become commonplace. And yet it's the ignorance of this practice that turns the world into a place where blood, sweat and tears are expected, when it should be a place of marvelous growth and development.
Perhaps we can decide the time and place when we'll eat lunch, and we can choose from a menu what we will eat, but we cannot decide the time and place of our misfortunes and choose the insight it offers. However, what would your attitude be if you were to accept your misfortunes as bearers of fortunate lessons? What if you were willing to look at the misfortune differently so that you might receive the hidden benefit? I believe your life would become one of marvel and wonder.
On the other hand, have you not experienced the consequences when you consider your many common misfortunes as nothing but misfortunes? That's often when I catch myself crawling when I could be walking. And that's because I'm whining rather than moving forward.
Misfortunes can only transform from stumbling blocks to stepping-stones when looked at with wise eyes. I'm not suggesting that you look at a misfortune with misapplied enthusiasm. Enthusiasm misapplied will quickly dampen the spirit of the enthusiast. Shouting, "Wow, this is great," will not help you.
Wisdom, on the other hand, cannot be misapplied. When you look at the misfortune with wise eyes, you open the door to logical thinking, which stops the mind from complaining. When there is no complaint, there is an opportunity for understanding. And your understanding becomes a faithful servant that guides you to handling the misfortune better and gleaning its benefit.
In the inherent nature of duality, there is an underlying unity giving life to creativity. And so it has been spoken that all things unfold with perfect synchronicity. Every flat tire is offering something of value if you deal with it effectively.
Understanding the lessons that misfortunes offer can help you to become more conscious of your life. The more one becomes conscious, the more one grows. When living unconsciously, it feels natural to blame one's misfortunes on fickle fate. It's that kind of thinking that heaps misfortune after misfortune upon us.
Living consciously is a vital step to seeing misfortunes differently. The creative part of you lays impotent and unable to help so long as you wail out, "Woe is me!" every time you are beset by adversity.
When you make it a habit to rid the mind of complaints by directing it to seek answers -- you become an overcomer of misfortune. And on that day you become a lover of life, a giant in your world, determining what your life will be about. There is no other way to attain such a status. Rejoice in your opportunities to prove it is true.
International Bestselling book author, Rob White, offers other inspiring short stories that reveal ordinary gurus who come to you to prove there's no such thing as a final failure unless you say so in his book And Then I Met Margaret.