WOLF
There are rumors going round that if you become President, you are going to change some of the current dietary laws.
DONALD
You bet. There are some very unhealthy ideas floating around these days, okay?
WOLF
Would you name a few?
TRUMP
Well, all this stuff about eating green vegetables. How is that going to make Americans manly enough to take on our enemies?
WOLF
You think green vegetables are for women?
DONALD
No. women should eat oysters.
WOLF
As aphrodisiacs, no?
DONALD
You guessed it. But I would tell men to eat raw meat and French fries, like you get at MacDonald's.
WOLF
Fast food is supposed to be unhealthy.
TRUMP
It won't be when I become Presi-dent.
WOLF
Why not? Do you have some kind of formula for making meat nutritious?
DONALD
Sure. Just by saying it is. What I decide becomes the law, right?
WOLF
You'll need a largely meat-eating Congress and Supreme Court to support you.
DONALD
If they don't, I'll throw them out, along with their rotten tomatoes.
WOLF
How will you know what they'll be eating?
DONALD
By having Cabinet meetings in MacDonalds and Congressional hearings in Burger King.
WOLF
And you will be attending all those meetings?
DONALD
Sure, because we'll only hold them during mealtime. The rest of the day, I'll be at the golf course.
WOLF
And what do you expect to accomplish by controlling everyone's food?
DONALD
To make Americans red-blooded again, and prepared to confront our enemies here and abroad.
WOLF
And those enemies are?
DONALD
Illegal Muslim immigrants coming over the border from Mexico.
WOLF
I thought you wanted Mexico to build a wall to keep them out?
DONALD
Yes, but they said No, so we'll have to raise taxes and get that 4 billion or 8 billion or 12 billions or whatever is needed.
WOLF
Americans would never agree to that. The tax rate would be un-bearable.
DONALD
Then, if we can't have a wall, we'll just have to build a MacDonalds and a Burger King every hundred feet along the border. That way we can kill two vegetarians with one kidney stone.
WOLF
Thank you, Mr. Presumptive Presi-dent.