John McCain and Sarah Palin are proud conservatives. The poster soul mates of the Republican Party (except when they're throwing the other under the bus). Fair enough.
We have a pretty good idea that conservatives don't like government. Indeed, most self-professed conservatives acknowledge this proudly. Never mind that someone who is against government is generally considered an anarchist and hated by conservatives - we'll let that slide for a moment. Even those so much against government they want their state, say, Alaska, to secede from the United States. Let that slide.
"Limited government" is how they'd more likely describe it. And the more limited the better. Otherwise, why limit it? Never mind that if you're paying for anything but only getting the barest minimum service, you're generally throwing good money after bad, which is the very opposite of fiscal responsibility, which is how conservatives pride themselves - we'll let that slide for a moment. And never mind that John McCain just voted for the $700-billion government economic bailout package. We'll let that slide, too.
Conservatives merely want government so limited it just gets out of our way. Never mind that having no government gets rid of Social Security, Medicare, the 40-hour work week, federal bank deposit insurance, power to rural America, child labor laws, public utilities, food and drug protections, FTC protections (like for, oh, poisoned lead paint in children's toys), and protections that keep levees and bridges (and economies) safe from collapsing, which are all the very moral values which help make America The Greatest Nation in the World that conservatives like to trumpet - oh, and government regulations of financial institutions - we'll even let all that slide for a moment.
The conservatives belief is basic: to support the noble American tradition of personal responsibility, a man standing by himself, for himself, totally independent and free to do whatever an American wants. Except when it comes to having control of your own body, or who you sleep with. Or how you pray. Or, okay, who you talk to on the phone and in email (because, admit it, listening in on Americans having phone sex is apparently pretty darn fun after a long day of snooping). Or the important need for being totally dependent on a powerful, united military and defense to protect us because standing together in reliance on one another makes us stronger. Never mind that this contradictory, disingenuous and blind insistence on total self-reliance, answering to nobody but oneself, needing help from no one (except when you selfishly want it because it helps you) shines a spotlight back to the first point, that they don't like government - we'll let that slide for...
Well, no, we won't let that slide. Contradictory, disingenuous and blind don't get a pass. Nor does an insistence on hating government, because that's what this is.
Conservatives hate government so much they've developed what I like to call the "Please, God, Save Us From Ourselves" Initiatives. Or what they call "term limits." We already have term limits, of course - they're known as "elections." That's sort of the point of democracy and freedom, you let people vote for who they want to represent them - or not represent them. But conservatives seemingly don't feel they can be trusted with such responsibility. Sure, they'll say "term limits" are about off-setting the power of incumbency, but we all understand it's about keeping Democrats from staying in office. Honestly, if incumbency worked in favor of conservatives, do you really think we'd hear them begging for "term limits"?
Of course, the true lunacy of "Please, God, Spare Us From Ourselves" term limits is that they make politics the only profession guaranteed to keep the best, most-skilled people from succeeding. As you get good at your job, you have to leave. Worse, they guarantee you won't attract many good people in the first place - how many highly-talented people do you think will get into a moderate-paying profession that forces you to disrupt your life, only to force you out near the end of your peak years, making you find a new line of work when you're middle-aged?
Oh, yes, please, that's the career choice for me! Yes, that's a career choice sure to draw the best and brightest. I mean, yipes, those conditions ensure a self-fulfilling prophecy of getting the least-qualified, least-dynamic people running our government.
And that's what conservatives want from government. Hey, way to go! At least it explains George Bush and Sarah Palin.
This isn't how you put together a government. This is how you get volunteers to clean up following a social mixer, after all the smart people left early or got dates.
Can you imagine any other profession like that? Let's get rid of our teachers after 12 years, just when they're figuring out how to teach. Let's get rid of our surgeons after eight years, just when you're going under the knife for an operation.
Last week, financial expert Michael Bloomberg desperately found way to get around New York City's term-limit requirements, so he can stay mayor in the midst of the financial crisis. Agree or disagree with his efforts, yipes, that's sure the good government you're looking for - get rid of the world-class experts who can help you during a disaster.
There's also a touch of twisted whimsy in all this. Before Republicans brought aboard their ticket a candidate who 21 months ago was in a job she first got elected to with 616 votes, they tried to make their case that John McCain should be elected president because he had the most "experience." That they're still trying to make that argument while proposing Sarah Palin be a heartbeat from the presidency is like a twisted combination of Lewis Carroll and George Orwell. But, boy, howdy, it sure is hard to make that argument about experience when you're the party of "term limits," and therefore on the record that experience doesn't matter.
Liberals have their many flaws. But at least when they enter government service, it's because they believe in the good they think it can do.
If conservatives don't like government, fine, their choice. But the honorable thing to do, then, is to quit running for office.