If at First You Don't Secede, Try, Try Again

A few years back, a friend was telling me about trying to explain the word "chauvinism" to her young children. They were on vacation in Texas at the time. The next day, she pointed out an area which turned out to be over the border in Mexico. A local overheard her. "No, ma'am," he corrected and pointed to the proper side of the dividing line, "This is Texas. God's Country."

My friend turned to her kids and said, "That is chauvinism."

Little did she know that the Texan meant it literally.

Last week, Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) appointed creationist Gail Lowe to head the state's Board of Education. Subsequent recommendations to remove such bothersome things as facts from K-12 curriculum, while adding religious doctrine, means the old joke, "Bored of Education," has staged a comeback.

Mind you, I understand why religion is important to people. It serves a deep place in the heart, in the home, in houses of worship, in how we live our lives. Where it serves no place, of course, is in public education. It's like adding soap into clam chowder. It might keep your hands clean, but makes a really bad soup.

(Side note: Separating church and state in America allows religion to prosper far more than when there are state-run restrictions. That's the sort of thing you learn in school. Well, okay, at least in a school that hasn't replaced history and science with catechism.)

The thing is, if a demagogue wants to make a case against the separation of church and state, we should at least get fire and brimstone for having to listen. But these conservative reviewers on the panel aren't even trying. There's little more sad than a lazy zealot.

I mean, honestly.

It's bad enough that you're starting with the very head of the Board of Education wanting religious creationism taught as science on an equal footing. You know it can only go downhill from there.

But fanatics still shouldn't be making your own points for you. "The foundational principles of our country are very biblical," said board member Don McElroy. "That needs to come out in the textbooks."

Except...well, see, this isn't true. (Nor is "foundational" a word.) The founding principles of our country are not only NOT very biblical, they're not biblical at all. In fact, they're the very opposite of biblical. You see, they largely come from John Locke.

John Locke was an English philosopher in the 1600s - a period known as The Enlightenment, specifically because philosophers starkly contrasted their views with religion. How much did Locke's social contract theories influence America? He wrote that every man had the right to defend his "life, health, liberty, or possessions." (Sound familiar?) He wrote that men were "free and equal," also later used by Thomas Jefferson. He argued against the divine right of kings, 100 years before our Founding Fathers did. He was one of the first to promote the radical notion of separation of powers in government. And he advocated that revolution is often an obligation. "The people are absolved from obedience when illegal attempts are made upon their liberties," he wrote, adding that rulers can "be opposed when they grow exorbitant in the use of their power."

That's where the "foundational principles" of our country come from. But you'd only get that if you...gee, I don't know, perhaps read history books. And got your history from, say, history. And didn't cut facts out of your curriculum (along with cutting out Thurgood Marshall and Caesar Chavez), rather than rely on the Bible.

But that's what happens when you have a board of review where conservatives have appointed members like Rev. Peter Marshall, who according to the Wall Street Journal, "preaches that Watergate, the Vietnam War and Hurricane Katrina were God's judgments on the nation's sexual immorality." And appointed David Barton, founder of a group that pushes for Christian heritage.

It should come as no surprise, therefore, that the Texas education board wants to create a faith-based public education system. On the positive side for students, eliminating facts should make passing tests so much easier.

If Rev. Marshall believes that "We're in an all-out moral and spiritual civil war for the soul of America," let him wage his battle from the pulpit. But just because he's lousy at his job is no reason to punish unsuspecting Texas children, hoping to actually learn things. On they other hand, if the religious-right panelists believe that the public education system in Texas should "clearly present Christianity as an overall force for good -- and a key reason for American exceptionalism," maybe they'll at least take the blame for the economic depression.

Honestly, this isn't public education. This is Sunday School, five days a week.

Governor Rick Perry keeps threatening to lead Texas into seceding from the union. For goodness sake, go already. There's the door. Build your own army, mint your own money, start your own mail service, develop your own Social Security and Medicare systems. And while you're building your wall along the Mexican border to keep aliens out, don't be surprised if America decides to build one along the Texas border to make sure you all stay in your own country. God's country.

My only question is what's taken you so long? If only you would have seceded a decade ago, America could have been spared that foreigner, George W. Bush.

Comments

[Hal555]

No wonder we have misunderstandings. I agree the comment of Texas seceding is over the top (I doubt most Texans want to secede). Now the comments in this section (starting with the author himself) is for dismissal instead of constructive engagement.

The USA has serious problems and we must address them: health care, budget deficits, financial regulation, etc. We just don't discuss issues seriously, instead we prefer to take extreme positions and dismiss those that do not agree as lacking education, refinement, or style.

Yes, Texas' governors remarks are silly, the replies in this column are just as silly. Let's grow up and tackle the issues. Example: health care. We have a state that implemented universal coverage, is there anything we can learn form the implementation? In most organizations the idea of a pilot implementation is always welcomed. The latest news from Mass is the plan needs tweaking to nobody's surprise.

Yes Texans are independently minded and love to brag, they are also very friendly and warm. Like citizens of other states Texans have quarks, who doesn't? Let's respect diversity while we search for solutions to our serious problems.

[ApostasyUSA]

Some people just plain don't get it, and don’t want their children to get it either. It has nothing to do with religious beliefs specifically, but much to do with how organized religions tend to propagate group-think mentalities, and we all know that misery loves company.

Science is for determining the details of what our universe is made of and how things work. Most scientists are believers in some god or another, but is it simply our faith that brought us the knowledge we have today? NO. Our knowledge is determined by empirical evidence and trial and error.

I think that GOD is a manifestation of fear that our universe is dauntingly complex, and it is much easier for some people to lazily explain away those complexities with mythological concepts instead of patiently assessing the world around us.

You will die one day and concepts of god ameliorate the uncertainty of what will happen to us when we do.

The oppressive excessively religious or ideological, will always be able to challenge opposing philosophical standpoints, simply by giving ID a new name or finding in religious documents contradictions to the teachings of science. YOU NAME IT, They can challenge it!! It might be BORING, but these people got heart, even if it is a cold and dark one.

The inveterate of our society, like religion, come in vicissitudes marked by generations; therefore philosophical changes in society usually happen over centuries.

[dorzic]

If they secede, all of our jobs would go to Texas.

[JailNeoconVicts]

I've often said that Lincoln should have freed the slaves, welcomed them all to the north, and then let the south go. It's like a gangrenous leg. Better to cut it off than let it infect the whole body.

[aloevera456]

What I can't believe is why he thinks its a threat. The rest of us would be only too happy to see them gone. Any way we can help facilitate that?

[TexasDem0]

First, thanks for all the insults to Texas and Texans.

Believe it or not, some of us are semi-rational or better and would be delighted if Gov. Perry and his friends would just shut up and quietly go away, taking all the vote-again­st-their-o­wn-self-in­terest, low-inform­ation-vote­r, GOP bigots with them.

[The Meek]

I'm a northerner and I must say, "clever" insults by northerners are making me want to move to Texas.

[larry278]

Do it,The Meek. Nothing is holding you back, save fear.

[moodpost]

I'm a nearly 52 year old white male and a somewhere between 7th and 9th generation Texan, depending on whose records you believe. For the first time in my life, I am planning to move out of here. I won't be able to do it immediately, but the political power in this state is sucking the life out of me and I will have to get out of here or face the prospect that my grandchildren will be schooled by idiots like Perry or Bush appointed school board reps. I am college educated, bright, and have a relatively high-paying job that I worked hard to get and keep, but this culture of idiots is becoming too much to bear.

[The Meek]

It's gotta be tough. What percentage of Texans take this secession stuff seriously. Is it a regional thing? I'm curious and you are an on the spot reporter.

[gallimaufry03]

Okay that was exactly what I was going to say only I'm younger and a woman. My daughter is right now in elementary school; I'm thinking we'll need to be gone before she hits middle school.

What a pain this state has become.

[GrammyP]

My granddaughter suffered through Kindergarten and 1st grade there. When she got to NY, she had to be taught how to read. Apparently phonetics rates down there with evolution in Texas schools. Fortunately, after a two year remediation program, she's on track and doing well.

[ESerafina42]

Well, actually our founding principles are from (pagan) Greece and Rome, via the Enlightenment.

[PlainJayne]

It would actually be nice if they did secede. They can take most of the south and midwest with them. All the republicans can move into these states and live their lives as ignorant and god fearing as they want. They can keep selling all their automatic weapons to the mexican drug cartels and be as gun happy as ever.

[bluto392]

Part of me agrees with this- the reality based states would save a ton of money, as we wouldn't have to send all our taxes to pay for welfare in conservative states.

However, the theocracy that would arise would simply build a huge army, claim the rest of the US 'for God' and invade within a decade.

[PlainJayne]

Unfortunately, your right. They are programmed to force their ideas and will on others. They have always been bullies and they will continue to be. They love making everyone else just as miserable as they are. The men think that the more aggressive they act, the more manly they are.(they would hate to be labeled as gay) Haven't you ever noticed how some of these faux network male reporters come across as a little effeminate. They think that being a hardcore conservative proves their manhood.

[iMissMollyIvins]

I'll help build the fence.

[The Meek]

Do you build bridges too?

[pons1595]

Be quick about it!

[voteforlove]

Education has really become a travesty, not just in Texas, but America in general. The other day my friend was telling me about her 12 year old nephew who lives in North Carolina. He honestly thinks that Ireland is in Asia and that there is an East and West America, among other ridiculous things anyone above the age of 5 should know. But, apparently, teaching children about Jesus is more important.

[jimsrule]

Maybe we could trade Texas for Baja California - they have nicer beaches, better looking women, don't think evolution is a "theory", and the average IQ is higher than the number of letters in the name of the state. Oh yeah, they also don't have W, Rick Perry, and the most intellectually challenged congressional delegation (sorry Minnesota, Michelle Bachman alone won't get you that distinction, you will have to do much better) in modern American history. I say Adios, Good Bye, don't let the door to Mexico hit you in your red necks on the way out!!!

[grailknight]

If Texas secedes, then GWB could be declared a fugitive from American justice!

[SocialistDistortion]

Bye, Texas...yo­u won't be missed. Don't ask for any help though when your economy collapses and you run out of budweiser, barbecue, and gun racks. But then again you probably won't need help. because the second coming is right around the corner so it won't matter because jesus is coming soon anyway.

[The Ghost]

Jesus must be coming soon: I hear him breathing hard.