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Robert J. Elisberg

Robert J. Elisberg

Posted: March 10, 2011 11:58 AM

Speak Loudly and Carry a Big Shtick


I have this fear that if Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Sharron Angle ever got together in the same room, it would create a Black Hole, and the universe would be sucked into the vortex vacuum. The only thing left behind would be a cup of tea and three lumps of sugar. It almost happened this past week, but fortunately what they each said took place on different stages, and the world was spared.

Sometimes, I wonder if Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Sharron Angle even listen to what they say. Or care. Rather, it often just seems that they feel compelled to simply blurt out anything for the sheer sake of being heard. Indeed, it doesn't even matter if these thoughts contradict even the previous sentence, since retention is not a goal. Just saying words. Especially if the words are critical. If it's critical about Barack Obama -- Yahtzee!

(While I know this sounds like hyperbole, consider Ms. Palin's response when asked what Supreme Court decisions she disagreed with: "There's, of course -- in the great history of America rulings, there have been rulings, that's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be, there would be others but... " Okay, honestly, you couldn't analyze that even if you were Sigmund Freud.)

It's not that they give womankind a bad name -- which must be a cringing embarrassment to all bright and thoughtful women everywhere -- but that they too often give a bad name to what's bright and thoughtful about the human lifesource.

Okay, in fairness, anyone can "mis-speak," like when Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said that iPads and iPhones were "built in the United States of America," only to have his spokesman clarify his words by back-pedaling ("Senator McCain is aware they were designed but not assembled in the U.S.") and hoping no one understands what "built in" means. Or like when Mike Huckabee slammed Natalie Portman: "One of the things that's troubling is that people see a Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet who boasts... ," only to release a clarification by backpedaling (that his comments weren't an "attack" or "slam") and hoping no one understands what "troubling" and "boast" mean. Or when Gov. Haley Barbour (R-MS) was quoted in The Weekly Standard about civil rights in the Deep South during the 1960s: "I just don't remember it being that bad," only to clarify that... well, you know. Hoping no one remembered lynchings, shootings and brutal beatings.

So, people misspeak. It happens. That's why God invented the clarification. And short attention spans. And prayer. ("Dear God, please let them buy my clarification.") It's when words burble indiscriminately from your mouth without connection to known reality, however, that's another matter entirely.

That's why some things become near-impossible to respond to, when they're near-impossible to comprehend. Where do you even start? Just keeping your head from exploding is a moral victory. How, after all, do you respond to someone who quit as governor halfway through her first term -- calling Barack Obama "inexperienced"? Or someone who's found her inner-Joe McCarthy asking to investigate the "anti-American Congress," calling for Barack Obama to "apologize"? Or a candidate who spent an entire election avoiding all questions from the press, avoiding the slightest confrontation -- proudly calling that election, "a rough and tumble arena where you challenge in the public square the other's opinions"?

This isn't a case of the pot calling the kettle black. Most pots in this condition would be too embarrassed to call the kettle anything.

No, this is closer to the old joke about the gall of the child who killed his parents and then begged the court for mercy because he was an orphan.

This would be like if Sen. John Ensign (R-AZ) slept with one of his staffers, had his parents pay hush money to the women and her husband who's also a staffer, and then years later announced he wasn't running for re-election because "I have to put my family first." Oh, wait... sorry.

This would be like if Newt Gingrich, who was married three times, including one affair with a House staffer while still married, and sanctioned by the House for ethics violation, would be lecturing at the current Faith and Freedom Coalition which promotes "integrity in government," "high moral values" and "Christian principles." Oh, wait...sorry.

So... I don't know what you say to all that. I don't know what you say to people who operate on the expectation that if they open their mouths and any words dribble out, others should believe them.

I do know, however, that when people open their mouths without concern to the words that randomly escape and take actions that directly contradict the very core of their life, what it says is not so much that they don't care what they say or do -- but they don't care about you, because they have no respect for your ability to understand exactly what they're doing. And assume that you don't care if they spit on you.

But then, if you go to a tea party, sometimes you have to take your lumps.

 
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Hammerofthor
10:58 PM on 03/10/2011
Gov. Sarah Palin is an astute politician, a visionary strategic planner, a fiscal conservative, a cultural moderate, a sincere patriot, an unselfish public servant, and the best possible person to run for President as Republican candidate in 2012.
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Bev Ashley
09:00 AM on 03/11/2011
BS Big time. You don't know she is a teabagger??
08:43 PM on 03/10/2011
you left out Ann Coulter...although her WMD is that she actually sounds like she's makin' sense...until you apply the "Double-back and come-again?" test.
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Tom Iarossi
A proudly progressive veteran and educator
08:39 PM on 03/10/2011
Another brilliant analysis. Normally, these three would be relegated to the far-right fringe and ignored by anyone who could fog a mirror held under their nose, but in this modern age they are held up as spokespeople for what is purported to be a legitimate political viewpoint.

All I can say is that I hope they continue to do what they are doing, rise to positions of real power in the GOP, and lead it to its inevitable status as insignificant. They are writing all of the ads for progressives in 2012; this stuff is priceless.
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Carl Caroli
Give peace a chance
06:42 PM on 03/10/2011
This is what happens when we elect charismatic egotistical people instead of intelligent, thoughtful ones.
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Jim Milks
Ecologist
05:44 PM on 03/10/2011
This would be a wonderful comedy sketch, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, all of these examples are taken quite seriously by a sizable segment of our society.
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2pence
ignorance should not be contagious
05:22 PM on 03/10/2011
"I have this fear that if Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Sharron Angle ever got together in the same room, it would create a Black Hole, and the universe would be sucked into the vortex vacuum".

I love this. As a woman these 3 offend me, offend my idea of being a smart, compassionate, logical, being. The Tea Party and republicans offend on the same level and it seems few recognize how offensive their policies and ideology are.
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julietrecamier
Responsible and accountable
03:40 PM on 03/15/2011
As a woman, nobody else's opinions and beliefs offend me. I do like to hear why they hold differing opinions, but I am never offended. I am an independent, so anyone who can run the country in a manner in which I see fit, either party, gets my vote.

Your own policies and ideology may be offensive to others, such is the reason why I prefer to hear, watch all, and read all. Differing ideas are still interesting, no matter how offensive, because there is a root somewhere.
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2pence
ignorance should not be contagious
05:11 PM on 03/15/2011
Yes, differing ideas are interesting; however, the women are not offering ideas, they are attempting to present inflaming rhetoric as substantial policy. They have not shown a root policy that is reasonable, socially consciousable, or even marginally coherent and thought out. I read and listen to everything, I just know poor leadership when it is thrust in my face and they are less than poorly equipped, intellectually able, and willing, to thoughtfully assume the reins of POTUS.
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Not Yours
05:07 PM on 03/10/2011
The amazing thing is you don't give Palin credit for recognizing inexperience. It's not that she has more than our president, she knows both of them had very little at the time. Just a twist of things to make you think; more than one way to view something. I find it ironic that most people use this news site exactly like he states. Whatever is said and drips off the print is fact and worthy of chest pumping resulting in childish posts. Just ranting on my fellow peoples ability to make themselves look bad.
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
04:54 PM on 03/10/2011
"Sometimes, I wonder if Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Sharron Angle even listen to what they say."

Do those three know how to listen to anything except what they're scripted to say?
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
03:14 PM on 03/10/2011
Wish I had written this!
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NoMoFearNoMoHate
12:57 PM on 03/10/2011
"No, this is closer to the old joke about the gall of the child who killed his parents and then begged the court for mercy because he was an orphan."

You're killing it, Bob! You've identified the world's first and youngest Republican. If the case were being confounded upon by Fox News Entertainment they would probably suggest that his parents had it coming because they were liberals and the entire flock of Fox followers would nod their heads obediently.
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NoMoFearNoMoHate
12:52 PM on 03/10/2011
"Just keeping your head from exploding is a moral victory."

This just sums up dealing with Republicans right here.