The Best Worst Song Ever
A few months back in his wonderful blog, the much too multi-talented Ken Levine wrote about the worst songs ever recorded. It was an impressive list (or unimpressive, depending on your perspective), in large part because of its excessive length, culled as it was from his years as a DJ on AM pop radio. These were songs that he had not only had had to play, but repeat endlessly. As he later told me, "It was musical waterboarding."
Even among that painful list, one song stood out for me. "Seasons in the Sun," recorded by Terry Jacks. In fact, not only did that the ghastly recording easily deserve to be on the list, it may be my #1 least-favorite song - but not for the reason one would expect, not that it was mindnumbingly insipid and soul crushing in its pap look at death. No, as I explained to Ken, its value in being included transcended even that. As pure songs, there arguably are worse, but "Seasons in the Sun" has its own special, little-known reason for pure and utter disdain.
You see, "Seasons in the Sun" is not an original song at all. It's the translation of a brilliant French song by one of the great writers of popular music and lyrics - not just for French songs, but all popular music - and it infuriates me what a horrifically wimpy, pathetic translation they did to it, cementing in the American public's ear what this gem of a song supposedly is.
"They" in this case is Rod McKuen, so the syrupy and pap-laden lyrics shouldn't surprise anyone. The original song, you see, is "Le Moribond," and the writer - for those of you who know the history of popular music, are you ready? - is the brilliant legend, Jacques Brel.
Jacques Brel is lionized in France and much of Europe, and even has a healthy presence in America, largely through the long-running off-Broadway revue of his songs, "Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris," and many recordings of his song, "Ne Me Quitte Pas," which was translated here as "If You Go Away." (He himself performs it in the movie version of ...Alive and Well. He also acted, and most notably starred in, directed and did the French adaptation of the musical, Man of La Mancha.
To Rod McKuen's credit, it was he who did the passable job translating "If You Go Away." But the hideous job he did with "Le Moribond" erases any bonus points he gets.
The translation of Brel's title, "Le Moribond," is "The Dying Man," and given that the song is Brel, it doesn't have a single ounce of sentiment or treacly whining in it that "Seasons in the Sun" did. It's cynical, wistful, sad, loving, angry, and hilarious, with surprising twists. And hearing Brel sing it in French, even not understanding a single word, you can get most of that from hearing his voice, at times dripping with withering sarcasm, and the pounding rhythm throughout, mostly at the end.
If you didn't block it out too much, or have never heard "Seasons in the Sun," the adaptation is a sing-songy, over-sugary sweet froth about a young kid breathlessly telling us he's going to die, but, "We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...." And McKuen even adds yet another cloying verse at the end not in the original song.
In "Le Moribond," however, a middle-aged man, with a pounding rhythm and forceful voice is saying goodbye to those he knew in his life. Goodbye to his best friend, goodbye to the priest - to each of them, "I liked you very much. Take care of my wife when I'm gone." And almost in defiance of death, spitting in its face, "I want everyone to sing, dance and act like fools when they put me in the grave." And then in the third verse, the song takes its twist: he says goodbye to Antoine...and suddenly the tone of his voice changes. You can hear the sneer in his voice as he says, "I didn't like you very much." And then, rather than ask Antoine to take care of his wife, he sings, "Since you were her lover, when I was alive, I figure you're going to keep taking care of her when I'm gone anyway." And then the song closes with him saying goodbye to his wife, how much he loved her, even though he kept his eyes closed, like he will be doing now. And the final chorus is more aggressively pounding than ever, more defiant of death than ever, a heavy drum-beat in the background, "I want everyone to sing, dance and act like fools when they put me in the grave!!!!!!!!!" And then suddenly, BAM, the song cuts off.
Compare that to Terry Jacks and Rod McKuen. It makes my blood curdle, since it's through them how most people know this brilliant song of Brel's. As bad as "Seasons in the Sun" is if you don't the original, it is infinitely gut-wrenchingly worse (and that's saying a lot) if you do.
And now comes the treat you get for sticking around. After all that explanation, here's the proof. Here's a video of Jacques Brel himself singing the original version of his song, "Le Moribond," with English translation subtitles.
May it wipe out any memory of "Seasons in the Sun" that might exist in even a corner of a cobweb of you mind. You're welcome.
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Worst song ever. I've Never Been to Me, by Charlene.
"Timothy"
"Red Rubber Ball"
Both very well-crafted works. "Timothy " was remarkable for getting airplay despite the subject matter.
I have a very slight preference for "Turn Down Day" over "Red Rubber Ball", though.
I do understand that this column was about butchering Brel....but on the other point, about worst songs..........different songs ring different (painful) bells in the minds of different people, depending on the context of that song..........for me, while I really thought that the well-meaning leftish song "Eve of Destruction" was kind of painful......the retort............"DAWN OF CORRECTION" was POSITIVELY AGONIZING............"............
What, no "Kung Fu Fighting"?
Oh gosh, I almost forgot that one!
Coincidentally, the New York Times today has an obituary for Art D'Lugoff who owned and ran the Village Gate, where (according to the obit) Jaques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris opened in 1968.
Anyway, Bob, thanks for column. I've never much cared for "Seasons in the Sun" (among other things, it's just a boring song), but I'm happy for the opportunity to learn about its history.
DRF55 (NTE '70)
My favourite use of that song was when Laurie Metcalfe - Jackie on "Roseanne" - used it to entertain the audience at a taping of the show. Still obnoxious, but hilarious.
"Season" can be schmaltzy pap for unmelancholy folks or cool souls. That's a given. But maybe we're missing the point here. The pop chart tunes of the have-a-nice-day good times when I grew up stuck with you. Otherwise we wouldn't still be talking about them here 40 years later. To have a beat---up, down or whatever---music has to have something old fashioned called melody.
But the kind of song structure that makes hits or gets stuck in your head has been largely missing from the pop charts for the past 15 years---or coincidentally ever since Cashbox went out of business in the mid 90s. What that says to me is that amidst a generation of musical mediocrities, we miss the past because even bad music back then was way better than today's noise.
mckuen also made a mess out of brel's "fis de..." and frank sinatra made the truly awful recording of it.
Sinatra ruined many classics.
Tough choice, but I'm going with Sgt.Barry Sadler's " Ballad of the Green Berets."
I am no great admirer of Rod McKuen. But to be fair, his original translation was gutted by Terry Jacks, particularly that third verse. Jacks completely rewrites it in soppy doggerel, removes the cheating wife and shamelessly adds a little daughter who is just about to lose her daddy.
McKuen's original translation actually retains the bitterness, and even adds a little menace, to Le Moribonde's verse to his faithless wife:
Adieu, Francoise, my trusted wife.
Without I'd have had a lonely life.
You cheated lots of times, but then
I forgave you in the end,
Though your lover was my friend.
Adieu, Francoise, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky.
Now that spring is in the air,
With your lovers everywhere,
Just be careful, I'll be there.
Okay, it's not Brel-caliber lyric-writing. But it retains the bitterness that subverts the apparent sentiment of the opening verses. And it's leagues better than Jacks' tripe.
I commend you to The Kingston Trio's version of McKuen's original lyric. They retain the insistent tempo of Brel's original, and never play it for corny sentiment. It doesn't end with a crash like Brel's does -- and let's face it, the abrupt cutoff is a card that Brel sometimes overplayed in his songs -- but the legato refrain at the end of The Kingston Trio's version carries with it some of the pain and regret of that third verse.
TKT's version redeems McKuen considerably.
I do have to agree that the Kingston Trio version is more palatable than Terry Jacks, though still inferior to Brel. Another version that I have a sneaking fondness for is the one by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. It uses the execrable Terry Jacks lyrics, but sings the words with a sneer and a snarl that gives it a nasty edge despite the treacly words.
But Brel is a god in my book, and though I've heard some very good versions of many of his songs I've yet to hear any that equal the originals.
The song Afternoon Delight could make a grown man pull his own ears off.
LOL! You're so right. But Arrested Development made it work...
"Seasons in the Sun" while banal (like many French pop songs), is hardly the worst song ever. How about everything ever recorded by Yes? Or, as Adam Carolla reminded me recently, "Abracadabra?" A horrible song by a great musician, sort of like "Waiting on a Friend" or "Boris the Spider."
Also what decade is this? Who even knows this song other than 50 year-olds? Even CBS FM doesn't play it anymore... i bet you had to buy it on iTunes just to write a convincing essay!
See Robert J. Elisberg's Profile
Thanks for taking the time to write. To clarify a few things:
I say clearly in my article that "Seasons in the Sun" isn't likely the worst song ever. However, the article isn't about "Seasons in the Sun," but rather "Le Moribond." The point is how a song as terrible as "Seasons in the Sun" can come from a song that great. (And "Le Moribond" is a great song.) That's what the title, "The Best Worst Song" refers to.
Second, "Le Moribond" is anything but a banal French song. It's bitter, cynical, biting, funny and loving. Which is quite a mix.
Granted - I suppose the headline put that idea in my head and kept it there despite reading the content.
But Jacques Brel, while probably the best French pop composer/singer ever, is in my opinion banal in the same way Paul McCartney can sometimes be... pop is meant to be entertaining, but sometimes a complete lack of sense can sort of ruin a song, especially after years of hearing it.
Great Bog, I hated that song.I had no idea where it came from.
Other hideous un- faves:
Billy Don't Be a Hero
Honey
Wildfire
D.O.a.
What a relief it is to see Goldsboro get a mention here (though apparently he only sang, did not pen the atrocity known as 'Honey' " -but 'what the heck!'
See the tree, how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig
Then the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly late, late show
And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could
She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlessly
In the middle of the day
And it was in the early Spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing...
Back in December, 1974 while stationed in Germany and the only thing resembling rock and roll on AFN was Casey Kasem's AT40, Casey played this sweet'n'low and told us that the Beach Boys passed on recording it. Good for them! Then they became the Republican house band.
The flip side of "Seasons" had a hilarious song called "Put the Bone In"...Much better than Jacks' version of "Seasons"!
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