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The Frothiest, Most Excrement-Filled Rick Santorum Quotes

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I'm as happy as the next person to see the underused adjective, frothy, have a resurgence. Too bad it's due to Rick Santorum's strong showing in Tuesday's Iowa straw poll. Before he fizzles, here's a stroll down memory lane revisiting some of the frothiest excrement that's passed through his lips.

On Gays in the Military Who Threaten the Sanctity of Showers
"They're in close quarters, they live with people, they obviously shower with people."

On How Sucky It Is to Wear a Condom
"One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. It's not okay. It's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be."

On the Place Jesus Will Return to After the Rapture
"All the people who live in the West Bank are Israelis. There are no Palestinians. This is Israeli land."

On Doing It With Gay Underage Dogs
"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything... In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing."

On Rubbing Against Trees With John Ensign
"My colleague Senator John Ensign of Nevada told me a story that epitomizes the selfishness of our culture: When I was a teenager, I had a sticker in my car with a picture of a bear scratching himself on the tree, and under it was the saying, 'If it feels good, do it!' That was the motto of the '60s and the '70s, and certainly it is the motto today. The image of the bear scratching himself highlights a view of human beings as animals, and that people should do what pleases them at the moment without a thought to the broader long-term consequences of their actions."

On African-Americans
"I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money and provide for themselves and their families."

On Frabric
"We have laws in states, like the one at the Supreme Court right now, that has sodomy laws and they were there for a purpose. Because, again, I would argue, they undermine the basic tenets of our society and the family. And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution."

On Those Money-Grubbing One Percenters: Single Moms
"Look at the political base of the Democratic Party: It is single mothers who run a household. Why? Because it's so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they're going to vote. So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families, you eliminate that desire for government."

On His Love of Power Tools and That Global Warming Conspiracy Thingamajig
"Drill everywhere... There is no such thing as global warming."

On the Size of His Package
"I would be saying to the Iranians, you either open up those facilities, you begin to dismantle them and make them available to inspectors, or we will degrade those facilities through air strikes, and make it very public that we are doing that."

On America Kicking Ass and France Sucking
"Watching President Obama apologize last week for America's arrogance -- before a French audience that owes its freedom to the sacrifices of Americans -- helped convince me that he has a deep-seated antipathy toward American values and traditions."

On How His Grandparents Ain't No Monkeys
"What we should be teaching are the problems and holes and I think there are legitimate problems and holes in the theory of evolution. And what we need to do is to present those fairly from a scientific point of view. And we should lay out areas in which the evidence supports evolution and the areas in the evidence that does not."

More on Sodomites, Homosexualizers, Redundancy and Obsession
"Is anyone saying same-sex couples can't love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?"

"[Gay marriage] threatens my marriage. It threatens all marriages. It threatens the traditional values of this country."

"I'll die on that hill [fighting for a ban on gay marriage]."

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