'Weed' And 21 Other Definitions That Don't Translate From My Dad To My Daughter

10/29/2011 11:36 am ET | Updated Dec 29, 2011

To my father, Spam was canned ham. To my daughter, it's naughty, annoying email. Here are 21 more expressions which mean something totally different to him than to her.

To my father: what a bird says.
To my kid: what Kim Kardashian says.

Tea party
To my father: knew it as an afternoon gathering of ladies eating finger sandwiches.
To my kid: thinks it's a gathering of angry people holding up misspelled signs.

To my father: the period before the actual game began.
To my kid: drinking before the actual drinking begins.

To my father: 'certificate of deposit,' a financial product that once earned interest.
To my kid: what parents used to listen to music on before iTunes.

To my father: running water in the woods. (Later in life, the efficiency of his bladder to evacuate.)
To my kid: what gets Justin Bieber performing on her computer screen.

To my father: a positive sentiment, generally about a person, place or thing.
To my kid: a "button" (on Facebook) expressing one's vote of agreement.

To my father: the original words of something written or printed.
To my kid: phone message made up of the letters OMG, LOL & WTF.

To my father: the stuff in one's attic.
To my kid: the stuff in one's pants.

To my father: what you do in person with friends.
To my kid: what you do on a computer with buddies.

Social network
To my father: friends and neighbors with whom you actually hang out.
To my kid: people you "know" on Facebook and Twitter, most of whom you've never met.

To my father: number sign
To my kid: hashtag

To my father: What the buffalo did on the range.
To my kid: Excessive phone charges, paid by parent.

To my father: to steal.
To my kid: what you do with a credit card, also paid by parent.

The shit
To my father: what a dog left on the sidewalk.
To my kid: something awesome.

The bomb
To my father: Hiroshima.
To my kid: also something awesome.

To my father: the state of things as they actually exist.
To my kid: TV shows that bear no resemblance to the state of things as they actually exist.

The Jersey Shore
To my father: The beach where Jersey people went in the summer.
To my kid: A "reality" show featuring halfwits exhibiting bad behavior.

The situation
To my father: A state of affairs.
To my kid: Asinine guy with great abdominals, exhibiting bad behavior.

To my father: A thermometer.
To my kid: An entire way of life, dude.

Arnold Palmer
To my father: best golfer ever.
To my kid: iced tea and lemonade.

To my father: what grew on the lawn.
To my kid: what the kids bring to school.

What others can you think of?