To my father, Spam was canned ham. To my daughter, it's naughty, annoying email. Here are 21 more expressions which mean something totally different to him than to her.
To my father: what a bird says.
To my kid: what Kim Kardashian says.
To my father: knew it as an afternoon gathering of ladies eating finger sandwiches.
To my kid: thinks it's a gathering of angry people holding up misspelled signs.
To my father: the period before the actual game began.
To my kid: drinking before the actual drinking begins.
To my father: 'certificate of deposit,' a financial product that once earned interest.
To my kid: what parents used to listen to music on before iTunes.
To my father: running water in the woods. (Later in life, the efficiency of his bladder to evacuate.)
To my kid: what gets Justin Bieber performing on her computer screen.
To my father: a positive sentiment, generally about a person, place or thing.
To my kid: a "button" (on Facebook) expressing one's vote of agreement.
To my father: the original words of something written or printed.
To my kid: phone message made up of the letters OMG, LOL & WTF.
To my father: the stuff in one's attic.
To my kid: the stuff in one's pants.
To my father: what you do in person with friends.
To my kid: what you do on a computer with buddies.
To my father: friends and neighbors with whom you actually hang out.
To my kid: people you "know" on Facebook and Twitter, most of whom you've never met.
To my father: number sign
To my kid: hashtag
To my father: What the buffalo did on the range.
To my kid: Excessive phone charges, paid by parent.
To my father: to steal.
To my kid: what you do with a credit card, also paid by parent.
To my father: what a dog left on the sidewalk.
To my kid: something awesome.
To my father: Hiroshima.
To my kid: also something awesome.
To my father: the state of things as they actually exist.
To my kid: TV shows that bear no resemblance to the state of things as they actually exist.
The Jersey Shore
To my father: The beach where Jersey people went in the summer.
To my kid: A "reality" show featuring halfwits exhibiting bad behavior.
To my father: A state of affairs.
To my kid: Asinine guy with great abdominals, exhibiting bad behavior.
To my father: A thermometer.
To my kid: An entire way of life, dude.
To my father: best golfer ever.
To my kid: iced tea and lemonade.
To my father: what grew on the lawn.
To my kid: what the kids bring to school.
What others can you think of?
Follow Robert Rosenthal on Twitter: www.twitter.com/shortorderdad