Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~ Confucius
The word "beauty" is the most overused, misunderstood, poorly defined word in the English language. What makes a woman beautiful? The Holy Grail of beauty has never been completely understood. The cliché, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," is incorrect in my opinion. Perception is the key. It is "perception of beauty" that is in the eye of the beholder. Each of us, however, has a different perception of beauty. We all have different tastes, likes and dislikes, and this affects our definition and perception of beauty with regard to the American woman. As a plastic surgeon, it is my job to counsel people about this perception of beauty because so many misconceptions exist.
We are all familiar with the "classic" physical features that are considered beautiful in our society. A pretty face, gorgeous eyes and a nice figure are examples often cited. However, it is my contention that each of us has a different perception of a pretty face, gorgeous eyes and a nice figure. It is that perception -- believing that a blonde is prettier than a redhead, or blue eyes are prettier than green eyes, for instance -- that causes confusion. If we cannot agree on what traits define beauty, because each of us perceives beauty differently, how can a woman discover her own beauty?
Unfortunately, we rely on "beauty authorities," such as Hollywood, fashion designers and style experts to define beauty for us. The standards and criteria of beauty set by our society have been manipulated and bastardized and are wrong, absurd and unrealistic. Our role models have become 20-something starlets and fashion models whose photographs have been carefully orchestrated, airbrushed, Photoshopped and drastically altered. In person, these people do not look like their photos! The Huffington Post is certainly doing their part to expose this.
So, how does the non-celebrity woman compete? She cannot! Women are unduly influenced into negative opinions about themselves and forced to chase an illusion. The deck is stacked totally against them. We must change our perception of beauty and choose realistic role models. We also must abandon the notion that youth is the only path towards beauty. Women must embrace the fact that true beauty does, and must, transcend the decades as we age. We are all familiar with gorgeous women in every decade of life. If we must use celebrities as examples, there are actresses such as Betty White, Helen Mirren and Penelope Cruz.
We must change these perceptions, attitudes and behavior to make it better for the next generation. We must educate our children to recognize that physical characteristics alone do not make a woman beautiful. We must stop sending the wrong, unhealthy, superficial message to our daughters and granddaughters about the definition of beauty. It would help to choose role models who make sense: smart, vivacious, confident women, representing every decade of life.
It is my assertion that each woman has a Beauty Quotient. This quotient is made up of three distinct categories: Physical Health, Psychological Health and Personal Appearance:
It is the combination of physical and mental elements from these three categories that define a woman's beauty. A woman may raise her Beauty Quotient significantly by simply tweaking various elements within these categories. A combination of intangibles can make a woman beautiful.
My quest is about convincing women to recognize their inner and outer beauty by changing their attitude and being able to take an honest, positive look at themselves. I would like them to look in the mirror and see the glass half full instead of half empty. It is OK to look like yourself and not someone else. My recommendation is that women identify and embrace those attributes that make them beautiful, and then learn to accentuate them. Learn to celebrate your best features and set realistic, achievable goals regarding your own beauty.
We, as a society, must change the rules and allow a woman's beauty to evolve with her as she ages to suit her current stage of life. Age with dignity, while still looking your best and, more importantly, still looking like you. It is my opinion that a combination of physical and mental traits truly makes a woman beautiful. So much of a woman's beauty is under her direct control. Learn to take control!
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
--Oscar Wilde
To learn more about my concepts regarding beauty, please go to the book's website, www.TheBeautyQuotient.com, or friend me on Facebook.
Follow Robert Tornambe, M.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RobertMTornambe
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Staceyann C. Dolenti
develop maladaptive behaviors to cope with the abuse (restrictive or binge eating), feel guilty, hate themselves, and adults do not intervene, would you think I was talking about sexual abuse? Understandably so. But there is another form of abuse directed towards girls. Size-u-al Abuse.
From the time girls are old enough to watch television, they're told via cartoons, TV shows, and commercials, they need to be thin to be popular and loved.
They have no choice but to absorb these messages. By the time they are old enough to change the channel, there are few opposing views available. By the time she's a teen, her belief system has been molded by the powerful message that she must conform to a very narrow definition of beauty. The disproportionate emphasis on the importance of appearance as a measure of success in the world is inexcusable. But, given the sad reality that the primary asset guaranteeing a girl’s success is how she looks...establishing unattainable criteria for beauty is doubly reprehensible. The result is a multitude of females suffering from body dissatisfaction and disordered eating. The outcome is not pretty; the damage; downright ugly. Ironic that a society so obsessed with appearance wouldn't be repulsed by the unattractiveness of the situation. Dr. Deah Schwartz
It was just a way for a lot of companies to sell you products to maintain "your youthful glow" or "minimize your wrinkles" or "lift and separate"...
Beauty is as beauty does.....you can have the whole package sitting there, but when she opens her mouth....it is gone.
Be happy with who you are, at all your ages throughout your life. Don't take what a bunch of salesmen say to sell you products that cost a lot to heart...they have alterer motives.
http://changecomesslow.com/2011/04/02/it-pays-to-be-beautiful/
In the past, religion paired with art capture the essence of beauty. Once religion disappeared from art, then artists began to experiment with contemporary techniques that lacked beauty. Actresses such as Holly Berry, Kate Beckinsale, Eva Mendez, and others are beautiful women. In my opinion, one of the most beautiful women in the world is Kelly Brook. Her accent is also an added bonus. Billy Zane is lucky to have a goddess.
Some may consider another women beautiful, whereas another may agree. Drip painting may be considered a work of art, while modern artists may identify the artwork as a poor representation of art. There are many women who become anorexic because the media manipulates them into thinking they are overweight. There are many beautiful women in all shapes and sizes.
While people will say that intelligence and being nice is important, they tend to focus on physical looks. There's nothing wrong with that. Some may do more for beautiful people than average people. Even writing can beautiful. Every person has different standards.
http://BoxOfficeWeekend.com
How fortunate I am, good Doctor, to NOT consult with you regarding my "beauty needs"
Your skewed interpretation of beautiful American women eschews youthful blondes for "Betty White, Helen Mirren and Penelope Cruz" - only one of which is American; while completely ignoring the vast shades of American women with brown skin tones.
It seems that you share more in common with Hollywood's shallow hypocrisy than YOU would like to think.
I always looks so much younger than my age. I didn't like that much when in my teens and twenties, but when I was carded at 50 (the store policy was person must look 32), I decided it was great! Eventually, time did catch up with me and I've developed some wrinkles. I've decided to make a modest effort to reverse/ stave off the progression. I'd rather spend my time on hiking gardening and yoga. And my $$ on something I like. There's no way I'd have any "work" done. Over the decades, various procedures were touted as a fabulous fix for a certain perceived "problem". Then later, we'd hear that so many had to have re-do's, repairs and removals.
I never had very large breasts, but after nursing my 3rd baby, my breasts were totally flat. Only bra that fit was a sports bra. It took some time, but they did fill out again. No implants needed.
I learned to listen and care only about comments from people I trusted and respected, starting with myself! You are Still beautiful, more so that when you were younger because you are older and smarter!
But that wont happen because a multi-billion $$ business will not ever let you think you are adequate or appealing without using their products. And they put very attractive people in their advertising to reinforce why you do not measure-up.ILLUSIONS of a potential reality.
Rebuild you neural connections to concentrate on your inner beauty and the external beauty will shine through.
My girlfriend works in one of the most prestigious PS clinics, and the stories of young,attractive women seeking to enhance what nature has already bestowed upon them is horrifying.But I am sure this is not new to you. What confounds me is how and why the internal distortion begins
People think they can buy beauty....and that is one message that needs to be addressed.Pax vobiscum.