The New York Fashion Week whirlwind was a lot more than I bargained for this season; hence my blog is a bit on the later side. Actually, the term whirlwind is a bit under the mark. It was more like a tornado, as I was not only working insane hours, but I got the lovely news that I need to move out of my current apartment, which I had just moved into a month ago. Oh, also, there was literally a tornado that tore through our area last Thursday, how appropriate.
Anyway, I was so happy to have my own space and live like a normal person, but without the commitment of a lease. In all honesty, this may not have been the smartest move, as the reason I was leaving was incredibly cliché: My girlfriend moved in with a boyfriend within about six months of meeting him, fell madly in love and wanted to take the next step, which meant she needed to find someone to take over her lease and I was the perfect option, a good friend that would respect all of her things and would understand if things didn't work I would find another place to live.
But does anyone really know someone well enough to commit to moving in with him or her after such a short amount of time? This is one of the most common mistakes made early on in relationships, especially here in New York. Why does everything have to be so rushed?
New York is absolutely the fastest moving city in every aspect, so of course relationships aren't excluded from the rush. People are so obsessed with meeting THAT guy, who they will be with FOREVER, get MARRIED, have kids etc., that they completely miss out on all the ENJOYMENT that is possible, not to mention the sensation of being PRESENT in the moment for once in their chaotic lives ... Most girls I know meet a guy and within seconds have already predetermined their future.
I think it is really important to get to know the person you are with and not skip straight to stage 20 because, let's face it, we all know those types of relationships normally don't work. Some girls truly feel they absolutely must be in a relationship at all times, mostly because they are incapable of feeling complete unless they are with a guy and are focusing on taking their relationships to the next level. This is before even knowing the simplest things like their significant other's favorite color, food, or their life goals and fantasies.
To me, it's totally important to be on the same page and take the appropriate steps together, not just jump into something because you feel alone and need the companionship ... or, specifically in this city, the most common reason to move in with someone is just to save money. It's crazy! New York is expensive and moving in seems like the best way to save a bit, however relationships seem to drag on forever and it is really hard to get out of them if you are living with them.
Lately, there seems to be a lot of couples breaking up around me. I have found myself in the middle of one currently and the idea to move in one minute and move out the next seems like a lot of energy and in my mind the emphasis should have been placed on the relationship itself and not making rash decisions without a lot of thought.
So often in relationships the power always seems to shift and you never know where you are going to end up. I can say that I have only lived with someone once and I will never do it again unless I am completely serious about a proper commitment and will always take things seriously and really think about my decision from all sides. I can't say I am an expert obviously, but I have been around to watch a lot of interesting scenarios.
So as I pack up my apartment and get ready for another adventure I get to take a break from my reality, which we call stagnant and boring, hence no big stories about Mr. C and travel to the city of romance and fashion, PARIS. Hopefully, I will have fun stories to share upon my return, but just remember...
Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner