I am the classic Type A personality, have always been in a hurry: to get through school, to become an executive, to buy the biggest house and the best car. I was fortunate, things came my way and I thought I pretty much had it made.
But then I got a huge wakeup call. I was a vice-president at Labatt Breweries of Canada when, tragically, the chief executive officer, Don Kitchen, died in his sleep of a massive coronary at age 44.
For me, his death was absolutely life-altering. I found myself incapable of staying at my job and so left and wandered for a bit, unsure where life would take me. I ended up embarking on what I think of as my "real-life MBA." I walked the Camino de Santiago in Spain.
For more than 1,000 years, Christian pilgrims have walked the Camino. The main route takes you on a roughly 760-kilometer journey from the French border to Santiago, and I decided to walk the additional 100 kilometers to Finisterre on the Atlantic coast.
Throughout the 30-day trek, I stayed in monasteries, church basements and hostels and met the most extraordinary people. Most importantly, I had the chance to reflect in silence -- something that, as a society, we have tremendous difficulty doing.
From this experience, I distilled four lessons to transform life both at home and in business.
Focus on the journey, not the destination
Unlike other major pilgrimages, the journey along the Camino is not overshadowed by the destination. On the pilgrimage to Rome or Jerusalem or Mecca, it's all about the destination; it's about walking in the footsteps of Christ along the Via Dolorosa; it's about seeing where the martyrs are buried in St. Peter's; it's about visiting the birthplace of the Prophet and circling the Ka'bah seven times.
On the Camino, it's all about the time spent getting there; it's about the thoughts, prayers, laughter and crying along the way. It's a powerful living metaphor.
The person who put this into huge relief for me was a fellow pilgrim named Jesus -- a youth counselor from the Spanish city Malaga. He had spent the better part of 18 years counselling hundreds of at-risk youth who had been abused, had themselves abused substances, and who had abused others.
He told me that he woke up one day and could no longer muster the energy to do his job. He had begun his counseling career with the notion that he was going to eliminate the problem of at-risk youth in Malaga. Over time, he and his organization, he thought, could accomplish that. "Rocco, I couldn't achieve that. I had nothing left to give."
If he couldn't get to the destination, if he couldn't solve the problems of every youth in Malaga, it wasn't enough for him. Five hundred kilometers later -- he was ready to go back to Malaga. Walking the Camino had forced him to reflect on the importance of the journey -- and the memory of all the lives he had touched and saved along the way was so powerful it helped renew his energy.
Goals are important, they're necessary for forward motion, but they cannot overpower the importance of what you do on a day-to-day basis.
A journey of 1,000 kilometers begins with one step
It's great to have ambitious goals, but it's easy to be overwhelmed by them.
By taking the problem and breaking it down into individual steps, it is incredible what we can and do achieve on a regular basis.
The Camino's roughly 860 kilometers is initially overwhelming, and yet, it can be and is regularly achieved step by step. So, too, with your own problems and goals -- break them down into manageable portions and be amazed by what you attain.
Let go of your excess baggage
On the Camino, the pilgrims reassess the contents of their backpacks daily to determine what is necessary for the journey. "I don't need that fourth shirt," one says. "I really don't want any excess weight because that is not helping me in my journey. In fact, it's causing my blisters, it's causing my pain."
We all carry a lot of material baggage with us, but what is essential for your journey?
Beyond the backpack is the story of the stones. Two-thirds of the way across the Camino there is a wonderful place called the Cruz de Ferro, where a large iron cross sits atop a hill. At its base is a massive cairn with thousands upon thousands of stones. Each one has been carried by a pilgrim, in some cases hundreds if not thousands of kilometers.
During the walk, pilgrims consciously consider the mental baggage -- those internal wounds and regrets they carry -- that have held them back from fulfilling their full potential. The pilgrims spend the time leading up to the Cruz de Ferro working that pain into their stones. Upon reaching the Cruz de Ferro, they add their stones to the pile, leaving their pain with it.
Each of us needs to learn to let go of that excess baggage -- both mental and material -- because it detracts from the energy, the oxygen we need to fulfill our full potential as family members, citizens, co-workers, leaders and friends.
Being alone is not the same as being lonely
We have tremendous difficulty accepting the notion that being alone is different than being lonely.
The only times I've ever been lonely have been in crowds. Yet, as children, we are taught that being sent to our rooms alone or put in a corner alone is a punishment. The most serious reprimand we offer prisoners next to capital punishment is solitary confinement.
I did not walk the Camino for any specific spiritual purpose, but I was brought up in a devout Catholic home and my favourite psalm is the one that begins: "Be still and know that I am God." Nietzsche is famous for writing that God is dead, but I know that Nietzsche got it wrong. It's not that God is dead -- it's that the stillness required to touch the divine, to listen to your inner self, is shattered by buzzing BlackBerrys, pagers and cellphones, not to mention televisions and radios.
In our chaotic daily world, Descartes would have had to conclude: "iPod, therefore I am distracted."
While walking the Camino may not be an option for everyone, its lessons can be extracted from other sources: Take long walks in the park; canoe in a lake or river; visit a nursery in a local hospital; drop into a church, temple or synagogue; just turn off your television and BlackBerry for a few minutes each day and listen to your heart beating.
All of these methods can allow us to replenish our energy, or, in the spirit of the airline attendant's instructions, to put on our oxygen mask so that we are better able to help others -- be they our employees or co-workers or family members -- while helping fulfill our own potential.
The Camino helped me refocus my priorities, leave the private sector, decide on a new career in the charitable sector and restore my energy to take on a new challenge. Its lessons are helping me become a better leader and a more fulfilled contributor to the world around me.