It is now easier than ever to create your own reality. Once the province of eastern mystics and bi-polar schizophrenics, reality-creation is poised to break out as the next, must-have, accessory of 2006. Here, for the first time, is a simple step-by-step primer perfect for carrying in your wallet.
Step One:
First, repeat the reality you want to create over and over until you've honed it down to a few simple words. For example, let's say you want to build a high-velocity supercollider in the back yard in order to study the behavior of sub-atomic particles. And let's say the rest of the neighborhood isn't terribly keen on the whole "quarks" thing. A possible response to their protests, petitions, marches, and general hubabaloo is the simple declarative statement: "I have not changed my position. This will happen."
Step Two:
Enlist your friends to help explain to the rest of the world the reality you're busy creating. Especially your friends with influence. Friends with influence help create an aura of inevitability around you and your project.
Step Three:
You are now ready to Act! And then Act! again. The important thing about doing something, versus doing nothing, is that once you have done something, people have to respond. Comprende? That makes them reactors. And that makes you an actor! Like Harrison Ford. But for real! The beauty of doing something is that as soon as your opponents respond to what you've done, you get to do something AGAIN! Once you start acting, and they start reacting, there's no telling where it will end up. You'll be acting, and they'll be reacting, all over the place. And guess who'll constantly look like they don't have fresh ideas? Not you!
Step Four:
If someone, say a child past his bedtime, (or a certain five-term senator from Pennsylvania whose name rhymes with Bertha,) were to question the reality you're almost done creating, don't worry! Simply attack his greatest strength in the media. If he persists, tell him in a firm tone that it's time for bed. (Note: This works better when it's your child.)
Step Five:
Never, ever, care what other people think. Caring what others think is for sissy-pants (not to be confused with sycophants, who can actually be quite useful. Especially if they are influencers. See Step Two)
Step Six:
If you become temporarily disheartened in your quest to create reality, just remember, as the noted American philosopher Kris Kristofferson once wrote, "Reality's just another word for nothing left to lose."
Step Seven:
If, having tried all the above, you find a spreading crack in the massive edifice known by your concerned friends, family, and neighbors as, "Uncle Jack's reality distortion field," you still have one choice.
Become President of the United States.