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Ron Kuby's Jailhouse Advice to Bernie Madoff

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Air America radio host and attorney Ron Kuby had some advice for Ponz scum Bernie Madoff on his upcoming and personal "moist Oz-like scenario." We, too, have advice: get into solitary confinement, schnell! And stay away from the Nigerian with the little hat! Kuby's office has represented individuals accused of bombing the World Trade Center; Colin Ferguson, the Long Island Railroad gunman; and, among others, the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club.

"The first piece of advice," said Kuby on his syndicated program, is that "prison is designed to be arbitrary...you have to live with the arbitrary system of the penal code. Period."

Kuby continued: "Whatever you were before...changes...most of your reputation [depends on] how you handle yourself in prison." Kuby, who has defended some highly controversial people and seen them as an attorney after some time behind bars, does allow that Madoff could conceivably buy a crew for protection. "I think that he may [be able to buy respect]," Kuby said later.

Kuby went further, "You gotta remember: respect." Respect in prison is key, said Kuby, illustrating that concept with an analogy about how getting up from table and having another man's tush at eye-level -- in civilized society -- might be dismissed with an apology, but could be a far more serious matter in the pokey.

"Hit the weights," Kuby concluded, "get into the weight room, work out."