I think everyone from young to old is aware that Valentine's Day is Feb. 14. But did you know that starting Feb. 13 it is also Random Acts of Kindness Week? Now this seems appropriate, since Valentine's Day is supposedly based on the martyred saints who, around 200 A.D., performed marriages for soldiers ordered by the Roman Emperor to remain single. Their acts weren't necessarily random, but they were based on kindness and service.
Today, service -- or Seva, as we say in Sanskrit -- is essential for one's transformation, personal growth and tapping into their creativity. At every step of the way in your journey, you need to be sharing in some shape or form, whether it's to somebody in need of comfort or financial help. I think it's important to see that we are all in this together; it's not about acquiring more stuff or taking care of what you have. It's about actively -- in a social, political or spiritual way -- contributing to the whole thing.
Most spiritual leaders, including the Buddha, teach that all beings -- including the animals, plants and even the mother (Gaia) earth -- are all inter-related and co-dependent upon each other. When we take time to give, to contribute, to listen, to love, to heal, to teach, to be compassionate in daily action for all life, we are expressing mindful love through Seva. As we take time each and every day to become more mindful of our thoughts, words, actions and deeds, we begin to take a breath, using what I call mindstrength. This allows us to slow down, wait, listen and not react by staying in the present in order to improve the quality of our loving relationships. Through mindfulness, we have a most unique power and ability to begin to reshape and restructure the quality of our actions.
When we act in mindful love, we bring the best out of those we interact with. In Zen, we say beings are like tomato plants -- those that get the most mindful attention yield the larger fruit. Action and reaction, also known as the Law of Karma, begins and ends with how we care mindfully and love after our own gardens first and then learning that through Seva we can bring forth the best in all the beings we co-exist with.
In my book, 'Wise Mind, Open Mind,' I share a personal story of when I was on a retreat in India. While there, I searched for a famous Indian female saint who is the devotee of the great sage and guru Neem Karoli Baba. After an exhausting month of travel, I finally found her in the city of Lucknow and tried many times to meet her. Eventually, I was granted a personal audience, in which we just sat in meditation. During this time, all my questions and spiritual hunger for seeking wisdom and enlightenment fell way into this blissful silence. After an hour of meditating, her devotees entered the room with several boxes of various tasty, sweet and spicy foods. Her instructions were to go to a nearby leper colony and feed each leper, with my hands placing the food into their mouths. Fear, disgust, anger and angst broke through, propelling me into the greatest spiritual lesson and teaching of my life. The deep realization was discovering that it wasn't about me, but instead a greater view of all creation. Love is feeding and serving other beings with compassion, kindness and a deep and abiding sense of giving. From this space arises a profound sense of love, respect and admiration for oneself. This mother saint taught that through love and Seva is true realization.
Now, you don't have to feed the lepers, join the Peace Corps or work with the destitute to express mindful love -- although, those who do this are to be greatly admired. It can be as simple as sitting with a friend who is going through a difficult time; cleaning out your closet and giving what you haven't worn in a year to the homeless; volunteering at a local hospital or hospice; or visiting the elderly in a retirement home. If you don't have time for this, then make a donation to a charity or organization that speaks to you. The amount isn't as important as the feelings of love and kindness behind it. When the right energy is sent with the gift, the Universe can multiply it tenfold. Remember to be a mindful gardener when it's time to love and to give.
I also see an increased interest in the concept of Seva in my Leadership Workshops, where I focus on teaching businessmen and women to be more mindful. They learn that, through these principals, not only can they make more money and have successful companies, but over time, they can awaken their consciousness so they can use the business game in a similar way to what Bill and Melinda Gates did when they gave over $23 billion of their earnings to their foundation. Through this example, they start to see that the game is not just about the acquisition of money, but what they can contribute to creatively changing the world. In our own way, we can all participate in a global transformation -- through one small gesture or helping hand.
In the spirit of hope and goodness, I encourage you to celebrate Random Acts of Kindness Week. Embrace its message and use it as a springboard to act upon generous thoughts that arise spontaneously from your heart this week and throughout the year, so that every conversation you have -- with the guy at the car wash or the person at the dry cleaners -- are all opportunities to be a bodhisattva (enlightened or wisdom-being). Just notice what happens, as kindness ripples out!
Follow Ronald Alexander, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ronalexanderphd
Surprise! It's Random Acts of Kindness Week - Tonic
For example, rich people pay dearly to dress up in expensive clothes and, with other rich people, eat expensive food at fund-raising dinners. Why, one might be naive enough to wonder, don't they care enough about the causes they help in this way to give the charity all the money spent on a formal-dress dinner? Probably because our desire to feel good about ourselves is bolstered more by associating with people who have money and power than it is by staying home and writing a big check. I confess that I understand this because I felt quite privileged and successful when I attended a dinner for Prince Phillip at the Waldorf Astoria in New York. The money wad given by us attendees (or the corporations a spouse worked for) to his favorite charity. We could have stayed home and given straight to the charity. But that would have afforded us no networking or ego-boosting advantages. Had we been more highly evolved, we would have made the more generous choice.
Performing an act of random kindness can feel even better than buying our way into a charity event with others also insecure enough to need that. And being the recipient of such an act emphasizes how much such acts mean.