"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
Spring is in the air and planting season is upon us. As the farmer tills the soil to receive seed in hopes of a bountiful harvest, so too change is in the air for me. Maybe Lent has a hold on me or it is because I just ended a relationship that I feel the need to till the soil of my heart -- break up the fallow ground.
Why is change or the adaptation to it so worrisome for us? I read that change is the only constant, but it goes against our need to be or at least feel as if we are in control. Going with the flow can stifle our growth. Stepping into the unknown challenges and frightens us. If it is true that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, fear is a powerful kryptonite to us humans.
As I am toiling in the concrete jungle (funny I am trying to grow a dream in a concrete environment), I am mindful of the one thing I did not want to happen to me in NYC. Should success find me, I do not want to lose the essence of me. Let me not forget: (1) my humble upbringing; (2) to feel compassion for others; (3) what it is like to sacrifice, struggle, and give birth to a dream/vision; and (4) the ones that stood by me and my dream when it seemed impossible, ridiculous, and crazy. Let me be mindful to "neglect not the day of small beginnings." I have made some in-roads on my journey. Other times I wonder what am I doing here.
EB White said, "New York can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending on a good deal of luck...No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky." I think New York destroys and fulfills you at the same time. I moved to the Big Apple to pursue a dream. However, I do not want the pursuit of the dream to negate all else. In our pursuit of happiness, are we really pursuing happiness? "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely." I want to see my dreams fulfilled in NYC, but not at the expense of a loss of joy or failure to know contentment, mistaking the amassing of things as an indicator of my happiness.
Change is scary. You feel the heat and smell the smoke of the refining process. Like Frodo on the journey bearing the ring, it seems as if rejection and trouble are your constant companions. However, the greatest victory is simply standing. Troubles will come and go, but you're still standing. In the change process, you get to find out what you are made of. Who are you to be afraid of a little change after all you've endured! You are the person in the arena, taking the blows, stumbling, getting an eight count, but still rising. As Andra Day sings, "I'll rise up."
Just me, spring cleaning my heart.
This originally appeared on Ronda's blog, Ronda-isms.