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Rory Fitzgerald

Rory Fitzgerald

Posted: February 2, 2010 10:24 AM

Old women: the wisest people on Earth

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They cannot operate a mobile phone, or use a clutch, but elderly ladies are the wisest people on Earth. You see, they will have led lives for others, and are full to the brim with unfeigned kindness. They have lived so much for their children, and put up for so long with their cantankerous husbands, that they know no other way of being: only patience, love and kindness; never anger or pride.

Parallel parking may be a mystery to them, but they know the mysteries of the heart. They have seen people live and die, many times watched the seasons come and go, and have seen whole civilizations pass and fade. They know that the truth and beauty of life lies in small things: a flower, a newborn baby, a cat.

They are not deceived by the promises of the world: that money makes you happy, not for them the loud and empty glorying in youth, fame or sexuality. Happiness comes in the quiet ticking of a clock, a peaceful cup of tea and a biscuit, the finches flitting in the garden, the buds unfurling anew for spring.

And in their quiet and humble way, they all seem to know the divine, the Great Mind that infuses All. They hear him in birdsong and in the early morning quiet. He hears them too; when their hearts stir for an injured creature, or when they whisper prayers as their grandchildren sit exams. Unlike young seekers, they need not seek, for they are knowers. They do not need to spend years in an Indian ashram to see love in all. They see it always, and are the very heart of compassion.

Old men are great too, but not as wise somehow. I'm not sure why, but this is so. Everyone knows it; don't try to deny it. The difference is perhaps this: old men will spend hours tinkering with a lawnmower in the shed, or sawing pieces of wood to repair a chair. Whereas old women repair minds and hearts. With a smile, they distill the mysteries at the heart of being. Old men sweep leaves from pathways, old women sweep away pain. They live lives of love for their families and friends. They are givers to their last breath.

"But what about crotchety old cows?" you ask. A fair point, and one well made. But an exception does not unmake a rule. Irredeemably bitter and mean old ladies are rare things, inverse desert blooms. An occasional flower does not undo a desert. An island does not make an ocean any less of an ocean. But I take your point.

Except then for crotchety old cows, the proposition holds: old women are the wisest and best of all mankind.

Dedicated to old women everywhere, but especially the young at heart and, not-quite-yet-old, Anne, Margherita and Joan.

 
 
 
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11:14 PM on 02/08/2010
A further post to share these two snippets from Nobel Laureate, Rita Levi-Montalcini's, 1988 autobiography, In Praise of Imperfection:

I have become persuaded that, in scientific research, neither the degree of one’s intelligence, nor the ability to carry out one’s tasks with thoroughness and precision are factors to personal success and fulfilment. More important for attaining both ends are total dedication and a tendency to underestimate difficulties, which cause one to tackle problems that other, more critical and acute persons instead opt to avoid.

The fact that the activities that I have carried out in such imperfect ways have been and still are for me a source of inexhaustible joy, leads me to believe that imperfection, rather than perfection, in the execution of our assigned or elected tasks is more in keeping with human nature.
08:18 PM on 02/08/2010
I love this piece. I have been doing a Ph. D. that involved interviewing 36 older women. I haven't yet quite put my finger on what it was that I gained from these interviews, other than my life being vastly enriched; something about the spirit of older women. One of my key findings was that their lives were framed by caring for others, just as you say. The work of Carol Gilligan, Deborah Tannen and Nancy Chodorow, about the nature of women, is informative. It's true, older women are a mixed bag, however at times in order to say something meaningful it is necessary to generalise, while acknowledging that there will always be exceptions. Having finally finished my first full draft after nine years, I've become and old woman myself or close enough to it according to medical definitions. While I use a mobile and computers, I'm as you say. I find many aspects of technology alien, and certainly you hit the nail on the head about reverse parking. I've also like to believe and have been told, that I'm a healer.
10:27 PM on 02/02/2010
Well, I took seriously the part of your comment that states we older gals are wise. As for those two postings - hmmm - what can I say? I wanted to prove that I was smart enough to write it twice?
And now I'm going to spend the next half-hour figuring out the remote for the t.v.
12:05 PM on 02/02/2010
This article is rife with platitudes without focus on the actual purported superior wisdom of old women. Why are old women the wisest in the world? Back up your premise with examples!

I believe lots of old women have not had any special love in their hearts, were not surrounded by people they loved, did not observe nature lovingly, did not raise children in a particularly loving manner - certainly not any more than their male counterparts might have.

That having been said, I am an older woman who certainly would like to be considered one of the wisest in the world. However, my wisdom has been gained through life experience and choices, working through and making the best of things during difficult times. For me, all the rest is icing on the cake.
11:52 AM on 02/02/2010
Rory, while I thank you for reminding your readers that we "older" women are the Wisest People On Earth". I must take acception, however, to your suggestion that we experience problems with the latest technological advances. Not necessarily true. As a matter of fact, in my work with women around the world - through my speaking engagements and my book, TAO OF THE DEFIANT WOMAN,
I have met women who are more advanced in these fields than many who are far younger.
So, kudos to you for your article.
But, please remember that just because we are older , wiser, more loving - our other abilities do not necessarily deminish.
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12:32 PM on 02/02/2010
Thanks CJ, I'm only kidding around really, this piece is not meant to be taken too seriously, it's tongue-in-cheek. But I do know a lot elderly women that I find utterly inspiring, and very wise. So in one sense I mean it too.

As to your contention that many older women are tech-savvy, that may well be true. But I notice that you accidentally posted two different comments here. So maybe I have a point!
11:44 AM on 02/02/2010
Rory, I love that you consider us the wisest people on Earth, but I must take exception to your suggestion that, as older women, we have the inability to keep up with today's technology. As the author of TAO OF THE DEFIANT WOMAN, and an "elderly" (65) woman who travels the USA delivering a healthy dose of self-confidence to those my age and older, I have met some astonishingly bright and adept women. These are women who embrace and know their way around the technological world far better than many younger folks out there.
Of course, as was stated in one of the comments about your posti, there are those who are "not so wise" among all demographics of the population.
So, while I thank you for reminding the world that we older gals are still relevant and bright, I wanted to present a moe complete picture of our abilities.
10:46 AM on 02/02/2010
Nonsense. Some old women are very wise. Some are fools. Just like every other sample of people large enough to be statistically significant.
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10:45 AM on 02/02/2010
Excellent article. I'm 64 and the kid in the apartment building...have several ladies in the 80's and one 93 year-old who still paints and drives. We've lost 2 this past year, but they have left an indelible place in my heart and life.