4 Steps To Help Your Teen Survive Your Divorce

Many divorcing parents put all their attention on helping their younger children cope while assuming that their teenager will understand and adapt. Unfortunately, in many cases teens deal with divorce in more self-destructive and dangerous ways than younger children. Don't be misled by their seeming independence and self-sufficiency. Often, behind their masks lie deep insecurity, anxiety, mistrust and fear.

Typically teens fall into one of two areas of concern: internalizing and isolation or acting out and aggression. Some teens turn inward, hardly talk to you, lose interest in school, start exploring drug or alcohol use and demonstrate a detached, "whatever" type of attitude.
Others start getting defensive, develop angry outbursts, curse and talk back. Pushing you away and "leave me alone" responses or physical reactions such as punching walls or throwing objects can create great tension and fear in the home.

These children need and are craving more attention as well as structure and supervision in their lives. They see the chaos of the divorce as an excuse to express their frustration and repressed anger. How you respond will play a big part in creating more positive outcomes.

Here are four important steps you can take to bring your family closer together during these challenges times:

1. Maintain family routines. Try as much as possible to keep up with school, sports, clubs, curfews and other routines that were part of your teen's life. Having meals and other experiences together helps to cement the bond and reinforce that you are still a family and care about one another.