Transformational leaders inspire by challenging what we hold to be true. They demand that we examine our assumptions, question their validity, and encourage discourse.
Especially when doing so makes us uncomfortable.
Jess Weiner, in her recent article, "Loving My Body Almost Killed Me," in the September issue of Glamour, shows that she is this transformational leader. In sum, Weiner argues that overweight women rationalize ignoring their physical health as a response to the thin-obsessed culture we live in. Make no mistake, Weiner clearly understands the profoundly negative consequences for all women chasing the thin body ideal. But she is also drawing attention to a body acceptance movement that convinces women to turn a blind eye to the very real health problems linked to obesity.
It is essential to women's emotional health to love their body in spite of the constant messages we get that we only deserve to do so if we are as thin as we are told to be. But somewhere along the way we lost the overall point: women's emotional and physical health are interconnected and we do ourselves a grave disservice if we don't take care of our physical health because we are so busy defending ourselves from the emotional tyranny of being thin.
Weiner had this epiphany at a moment when self-reflection was probably the last thing she wanted to do. Weiner was challenged by a woman in a public forum about her right to speak on woman's health because she herself was overweight. This woman forced Weiner to look at a very uncomfortable truth. Superficial leaders would have responded with a quick dismissive comeback; never having the courage to recognize any of the truth in the speaker's question. True leaders take these difficult moments and face them head on. That is exactly what Weiner did. As she writes in the Glamour article:
I'd written books and magazine columns, appeared countless times on Oprah and other TV shows, and given hundreds of speeches telling women to love themselves no matter what their size. But now it was time to consider not just my self-esteem but also my wellbeing... I couldn't remember the last time I'd been to the doctor. My body wasn't anyone else's business, but had I done everything I could to make it my business?
Weiner's call to action is not limited to herself. It is also a call to action for other women. But some may not see it that way. Instead, Weiner's argument may be labeled by some as disloyal to overweight women. It is not. When we require ideological purity in our discourse, we by definition stop the authenticity of that discourse.
I know something of this experience. When I first started writing about the mean things girls do to each other, some of my colleagues believed I was wrong to bring it up. I was accused of being disloyal, unfairly blaming girls, or creating conflict within the girls' self-esteem movement. What I believed, and continue to believe to this day, is that girls and women are only able to reach their true potential and have authentic relationships if they are honest and self-reflective. It's just too easy to accept the easy answers and silence the difficult ones.
It doesn't matter if the issue is women's weight or girls' cruelty. Women, individually and collectively, must challenge themselves. They must see that loyalty is speaking the truth precisely in those moments when you know something is wrong; when you fear rejection and backlash from your community but you speak out anyway. As a leader in the body acceptance movement, it is critical that Weiner's article fosters dialogue among women. By doing so she's not only taking care of her emotional and physical health but also role-modeling what it means to be an empowered courageous leader.
Follow Rosalind Wiseman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rosalindwiseman
In a world in which refined sugar wasn't put into everything, I'd eat much more freely. However, we live in a society in which everything is sweetened and refined, which makes me seem a bit neurotic. But in my house, where nothing has sugar in it, I just eat when I want to eat. Also, when I dine out at really nice restaurants (where entrees are about 25 dollars or more), I just assume nothing has been sweetened (but if I ate places like Olive Garden, I'd assume there was sugar in the sauce).
So, while I completely agree with Jess Weiner's article and am happy she's come to her senses, I would not call he "a transformational leader": she is just stating the obvious, nothing more; and this was obvious all along to all of us, except to the obese individuals in denial. Coming out of that denial, she could become a good example to follow.
I think that everyone is healthy where their body size naturally falls, and everyone knows where that is, whether they admit it or not. Your body, Rosalind, may be naturally lean, and being quite thin is probably healthy for you, but if I was your size it would not be healthy for me, because that is not how I'm built. Everyone is built differently, and we should all just embrace it. I'm glad that Jess works in the body peace movement and it's a nice cause, but honestly, peace with one's body comes from within ones own self. I don't really think that the body peace propaganda really helps anyone that much, but c'est la vie. What Jess does is good work, and she shouldn't have to tolerate being harassed by rude people in her audience. And Rosalind, since you have power (you are a role model to many people) I think you should promote the message that everyone should be happy at their natural and healthy size, not just a size that YOU consider to be natural and healthy, because it's different for everyone. But thank you for all the work that you do and helping girls and boys sort out their social problems, I just really felt that I needed to speak out about this article, because I feel that the message you are sending is not healthy.
I'm sorry to say this Rosalind, but this article kind of annoyed me. Naturally my body falls from the higher end of the healthy weight range to the very low end of overweight (like a couple of pounds overweight at most). My clothing size varies from 6-8 depending, and I'm fairly tall. This is how my body naturally is. I'm a genuinely happy person, have lots of friends that I genuinely like, am successful, plenty of guys are always interested in me, I rarely get sick, and my doctor always says I am "very healthy and proportional." My point here is, everyone's body falls naturally at different places. Many peoples' natural sizes are larger than mine, and many are smaller as well.
I'm not sure what movement you are speaking of her article was a gross mischaracterization of the movement because she denied the very existence of Health at Every Size which places emphasis on healthy behaviors and wellness not weight loss. With that said, 'health' is not only a socially constructed ideal that is used to oppress many people but also is not a moral imperative to being human or treated like one.
Her own behaviors need to be highlighted as her own, they do not represent the movement as a whole nor do her own beliefs that the movement told her to not take care of her body. As someone who has been involved in this movement for the past 8 years NO ONE has ever told me to not take care of my body but has helped me believe that I deserve to be treated like a human in all facets of life, including at the doctors office. It has made me more able to take charge of my health and wellbeing not less.
You say, "They must see that loyalty is speaking the truth precisely in those moments when you know something is wrong; when you fear rejection and backlash from your community but you speak out anyway." I think that the problem is this generosity is extended to our friends, but not people who we feel are critical of our friends. I can say the same statement about people who have carefully and respectfully addressed their concerns about what Jess is saying - not about her own choices, but about the idea that body acceptance is dangerous, or that the movement tells people not to take care of their bodies. That's Jess's portrayal - false, I think - of other people's truths and hard work, and they are objecting. My earlier comment has not appeared, but I will try again to give folks the lengthier post I did - it is not a personal blog but rather the Association for Size Diversity and Health's blog (feel free to remove the link if it would mean my comment is acceptable that way) at http://healthateverysizeblog.wordpress.com/2011/08/09/the-haes-files-loving-your-body-wont-kill-you-but-being-targeted-for-a-curse-might/#comment-100 Thanks for the dialogue!
That said, if one had a true love of their body, they would want it to be healthy and thriving, first and foremost. Which is no compatible with the condition we're talking about. I think that is ultimately her point.
Since finding FAT acceptance (I'm not sure why Jess feels the need to soften the name), I've found a doctor who treats me with respect and dignity and is proactive in caring about my wellbeing and health, not my weight. I now visit her regularly, we work together on my health and I am listening to my body and trusting it to tell me what I need to keep it healthy. I no longer try to starve and punish exercise myself thin, but nourish myself with the nutritious and healthy foods, and engage in the enjoyable activities, that make me strong and well. This is what Health at Every Size is about.
Jess was in denial for at least 16 years. But that is HER experience, and her experience is not universal to all of us. She has every right to treat her body as she likes, but she does not have the right to stigmatise the rest of us for her own gains.
I have a feeling that if you pushed eating right and some sort of physical activity you wouldn't have to push weight watching because your body would start to push itself towards it's healthy state. Unless you have a thyroid or some other disorder that would be the perfect message for women of all shapes and sizes.
There is no way they are beautiful.
It's amazing that you think that word can clearly have an across the board definition.
I think you can speak your truth as a leader and still your actions can be discussed respectfully. I hope I have done that here:
http://healthateverysizeblog.wordpress.com/2011/08/09/the-haes-files-loving-your-body-wont-kill-you-but-being-targeted-for-a-curse-might
It is a misrepresentation of the idea of body acceptance that it does not include loving attention to your body's needs. I think people have a right to try to correct that portrayal.
Health at Every Size, while a nice and wholesome idea, is also a bit hypocritical from a medical perspective. It perpetuates the understanding that overweight is not a medical probelm, when if fact it is. It is very empowering to accept oneself, I understand that. But, I think, getting your body back in shape and in health is even more empowering, because based in truth.