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Ross Murray

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The Relationship Between Faith and Marriage Equality

Posted: 02/ 6/2012 12:01 pm

More than a handful of states are currently debating whether to extend the legal protections marriage brings to gay and lesbian couples and their families. We are watching with anticipation as states like Washington and Maryland inch closer to treating all families with fairness and equity. Governors of both of these states have talked about their Catholic faith and their strong relationships with their faith as they pledge their support for marriage equality. Something is happening, right now, that is calling them to support fairness and equality at this time.

We are in the middle of a watershed moment for LGBT equality. The time is right for individuals, cities and whole states to start recognizing and respecting the care and commitment of loving gay and lesbian couples. Over the past few years, as we've seen more states legalize marriage equality, we've also seen public opinion inching upwards. According to several recent polls, a majority of Americans of all creeds and affiliations now support full marriage equality.

And through all of these conversations about LGBT equality and marriage, religion is playing a prominent role. When the movement toward marriage equality started, people of faith were portrayed by the media as being entirely and unilaterally opposed. But as the conversation has continued, and as more and more people have cited their faith as a reason they support their LGBT friends, neighbors and family members, that perspective is starting to change.

Personally, I applaud the media's attention to the faith perspective on LGBT equality. As a committed Christian and a gay man, I'm excited to see two important aspects of my identity garnering recognition in the media. Growing up in my small church, I realized that I had an undying love for God and the worshipping community gathered to give glory. I also knew that my being gay was going to be difficult for others in our church. After reconciling my faith and my sexual orientation for myself, I've worked for years on LGBT inclusion and equality in religious communities. Now, doing the religious work for GLAAD, it is gratifying to see the same faithful conversations about faith, equality and inclusion out in the wider world.

And I know I'm not alone. There are thousands upon thousands of people of faith who are also lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT), and who are committed to their faith and its relationship with their sexual orientation or gender identity. This is exactly why the way we talk about religion and the LGBT population is so important. It should reflect the caring conversation that is happening in places of worship across the country.

The validation from faith already exists and is growing. Religious communities and people of faith are increasingly welcoming and supportive of LGBT people. According to a recent research note by the Public Religion Research Institute, majorities within most religious groups favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry. These religious group with a majority of LGBT supporters include Jews, religious people who identify as neither Christian nor Jewish, Catholics (both white and Hispanic) and mainline Protestants. Even in religious groups that do not have a majority of LGBT support, affirming people are increasing numbers and working toward LGBT equality both inside and outside their denominations.

Although the coverage has improved, we still need the media to better reflect that reality. Instead of sometimes focusing exclusively on religious opposition to LGBT equality, we need more stories that reflect the truth that people are being called to love and support their LGBT friends and family. Life is much more complex than the "gays versus religion" stereotype that has been so often portrayed in the media.

Last week, Seattle Archbishop J. Peter Sartain's testimony against marriage equality in the Washington State Senate garnered much attention. However, at the same hearing, Bishop Chris Boerger, of the Northwest Washington Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, also testified in favor of marriage equality. Two bishops, who are, in fact, ecumenical peers, demonstrated the reality of difference in the religious perspective on marriage equality.

An accurate representation of the true range of religious perspectives on marriage equality is not difficult to achieve. A wonderful example of this nuanced approach comes from The Herald in Everett, Wash., which ran a story entitled, "Who will accept gay marriage and who won't." The article shows a variety of perspectives on marriage equality, both personally and as a matter of denominational policy. A range of clergy and religious business owners give a range of thoughtful opinions and reactions to the possibility of marriage equality and what it means for them. This sort of reporting is exactly what all coverage of faith and LGBT equality should look like: nuanced, thoughtful and beyond a black and white dichotomy.

What will help people to recognize this new reality of faithful support for LGBT equality? The media lifting up some of the many examples of faithful people who love and accept their LGBT friends and family will help immensely. Additionally, it takes people like you and me, those LGBT and allied people of faith, speaking out about our faith and our support for LGBT people. The more examples the media has of faithful voices speaking out, the more they will reflect this reality. Even if your religious group does not formally support LGBT equality, you can speak up. In fact, your voice might be more important than ever.

This watershed moment is calling people of faith who believe in equality to step up and speak out. Now is the moment that our stories matter most. It is good for LGBT people, it's good for society and it's good for your faith.

 

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08:21 PM on 02/23/2012
As a Christian, I truly love the LGBT community. I have many friends that are apart of it. LGBT are obviously people and hating them is wrong, just like hating Muslims, Jews, blacks, etc. is wrong. But I still don’t agree with gay marriage because I take the Bible literally. When I read the Bible and find any verse that has to do with marriage I find this…
Proverbs 12:4
“A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”
Matthew 19:4-6
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Ephesians 5:22-23
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior”

Wife, Husband, Man, Wife. Never man and man, wife and wife. it is always one of each. During that time a wife was considered a woman and a husband a man. It wasn't interchangeable. Never once does the Bible mention same sexed marriages and in my opinion that shows that the Bible doesn’t support it.
05:32 PM on 02/08/2012
This is an amazing time when the tide is turning. Every person who has ever spoken out as a person of faith who supports full equality and inclusion is making a difference. Thanks for your great post, Ross!
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bluespagan
Love is the Law, Love under Will
11:35 AM on 02/08/2012
If so many Christian leaders want to focus on what the Bible tells people not to do then they should also be speaking out against these things...
The role of women
Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church. (1 Corinthians 14:34-35).

How to dress
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. (1 Peter 3:3)

How to pray
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:6)

That is at least 3 areas that many fail at...how many are our Christian leaders following?
05:05 PM on 02/07/2012
Ross! Keep up the good work! Good to see you on the post.
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MarcoLuxe
BS; JD
01:27 PM on 02/07/2012
You need a big chart to clearly illustrate your wopper of a statement, "religious groups with a majority of LGBT supporters include Jews, religious people who identify as neither Christian nor Jewish, Catholics (both white and Hispanic) and mainline Protestants."

This chart should be on the front page of every church bulletin and religious publication in the US [doctrinaire Catholic publications excepted, of course].

GLAAD, how about it? This is big, big news for most people.
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
11:29 AM on 02/07/2012
As usual, "Religion poisons everything".
08:29 AM on 02/07/2012
I think we should look at the teaching regarding the narrow road. See Psalm 16:11, Isaiah 35:8, Matthew 7:13-15.
01:12 AM on 02/07/2012
the media has been very slow - remiss, to be honest - in acknowledging people of faith who support equality for the lgbt community. I think we need to face the fact that the mainstream media is biased against organized religion and wants it, and people of faith, seen as extremist and out of touch. Otherwise, we would see and hear more about the very facts cited in this article showing a great deal of support for the lgbt community. But we don't, and so people believe that to be Christian means not having a brain, and not having a contextual understanding of scripture. CNN and others need to be challenged on this score!
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Martin Eldred
Alaskan runner, singer, pastor.
01:06 AM on 02/07/2012
Great article. I was proud of my fellow ELCA clergy, Bishop Boerger and otehrs who spoke up in the Washington State Marriage Equality hearings.
In my community of Anchorage, Alaska, I am part of a coalition of faith leaders who are working alongside other community leaders to help a GLBT equal rights amendment. While this amendment focuses on working and housing, it is a start and it has motivated a broad ecumenical community of faith to stand up for our GLBT sisters and brothers. MY prayer is that, empowered by this success, we will eventually work together to enable ALL our neighbors to marry the ones they love.
12:50 AM on 02/07/2012
This is an interesting article. I personally don't agree with his conclusions, but it brings up some interesting points on the interpretation of the Bible. I think the real problem here is the modern Church. As a pastor its hard for me to watch presentations like that of Westboro Baptist Church. At the same time its hard for me to see the truth distorted to fit what is culturally acceptable. I have this advice for both sides (I'm not trying to pretend I know everything, these are just observations). For the Christians who believe that being gay and being a Christian are compatable, its not. The Bible makes that very clear. At the same time, to the Christians who are spewing hatred and condemnation on those who don't agree with you, your missing the point. The entire New Testament is devoted to love. Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor as yourself. Through these two commandments, all others are fulfilled. I think its sad that the modern church has become more known for what it is against than what it is for.
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CMR64
u hurt my feeling
06:17 AM on 02/07/2012
the bible is not clear on being gay and being a christian ....
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jollywhitegiant
Please, think responsibly.
09:01 AM on 02/07/2012
It is more disappointing to see people of faith do what you have just done. The Bible is more than clear on a lot of things, so you have to be absolutely specific as to what you mean when you say that the Bible "clearly" condemns something. For instance, the Bible clearly condemns wearing mixed fabrics and eating certain meats, yet I would wager a large bet that you casually ignore these clear indications of God's will. See how disingenuous your argument is?

Also, there is a huge problem when religion hijacks the meaning of words and concepts. For instance, you claim that the entirety of the Christian Scriptures are devoted to love, yet there are still commands to ignorance and condemnation found in Paul's writings. If you hate an action or something that is innate in a person, that is not loving them. You cannot identify "love the sinner, hate the sin" with love, that is complete nonsense.

Furthermore, if you truly recognize those two commandments, then I suggest you do the following:

1) Accept the LGBT community whole-heartedly. Love is unconditional, and cannot be limited by hatred of a "sin."

2) Never, ever use any other texts to support the notion that they are unacceptable. If you are commanded to love, then love. No other conclusion can be reached when you follow the commandment to love completely.
12:43 AM on 02/07/2012
In regards to what the bible says about marriage. Why do Christians spend so much effort attacking homosexuals- they are such a small percentage of Americans who are sinning? It is also written in the bible that any woman who is found not be a virgin when wed shall be stoned to death. Statistically less than 20% of women in America are virgins when they wed, so you Christians have a lot of stoning to do. The homosexual population pales in comparison to the 80% of American women that need to be put to death immediately. Better get busy my fine, morally upstanding friends...you have your imaginary God's laws to uphold.

The best way to make an atheist is to read the bible …nothing is more despicable. Less that 3% of people who claim to be Christian have read it all the way through -- if they did there would be no Christians. Let's start with the initial concept of being subservient to an invisible being that murders his own son...cruel and ridiculous concept on every level.
Grow up humans! There is no Santa Claus. It’s time to live in the 21st century and stop killing each other over superstition. See www.evilbible.com for more bible atrocities - I dare you to actually see what’s in that book you wave around while you’re screaming at gay people.
11:16 PM on 02/06/2012
There are a lot of people of faith who are not right wing Christians; they belong to the religions of inclusiveness, compassion and loving kindness. To me the Bible is simply another creation myth and all cultures have them. To the majority of Americans, I expect gay marriage is a non-issue but the right wing Christians are very noisy and fond of forcing their beliefs on everyone else.
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soma77
Author, Speaker, Retreat Facilitator
10:40 PM on 02/06/2012
My fellow Christians need to stop preaching and badgering others because it only breeds resentment. We have Christian politicians condemning others while asking for forgiveness for their own marriage digressions. Allowing people to see God active in their lives where they are at is what is needed, putting aside pettiness and embracing diversity will allow God to be felt. My advice to my Christian brothers and sisters is to feel God first and stop the attacking and judging what you no nothing about.
09:34 PM on 02/06/2012
It is an old story, religious denominations changing their theology to mimic the views of the larger culture in which they exist. Of course, they are able to convince themselves they are following the precepts of their religion, while adopting policies that once would have been unthinkable.

There is very little "there" there.
01:04 AM on 02/07/2012
no, it's people of faith leading us away from prejudice and discrimination toward a more just society that is more reflective of God's kingdom.
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
11:30 AM on 02/07/2012
You have it exactly backwards.
07:15 PM on 02/07/2012
Given how explicit the Biblical criticism of homosexuality is, it seems quite clear you have it backwards.
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antigaychristianssuck
deus cinaedus est
01:54 AM on 02/07/2012
Yes, adopting policies like ending slavery and giving women the right to vote. Those are policies that would have been unthinkable in an earlier time.
07:10 PM on 02/07/2012
I am not aware that abolishing slavery is problematic, from the perspective of traditional Christianity. But I do agree that slavery itself is not something forbidden by the Bible, and that God appears to be neutral on the issue.
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dschiff
Always learning
09:17 PM on 02/06/2012
It's great that you're doing this work.

Organizing religion to prevent (essentially Republican) politicians who deny basic rights should be one goal. Striking laws that allow religious organizations to discriminate should be another. Public awareness may filter in, slowly drawing away conservative christians, but I'm wary of how long this process will take. I think action needs to be done sooner, probably at the level of politics.

As an atheist, I often try to appeal to Christians to quit this selective discrimination. But this often falls on deaf ears, as they dislike atheists as much as gays. So perhaps as Christian, you will be better suited to speak to your conservative and evangelical counterparts.

Best of luck.