iOS app Android app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Roy Zimmerman

GET UPDATES FROM Roy Zimmerman
 

At Least 50 Reasons to Vote Republican

Posted: 08/06/2012 10:47 am

Offshore drilling is completely safe... You're getting sleepy
Tax cuts for the rich create new jobs... You're getting sleepy
Financial institutions will police themselves
And illegal aliens are stealing all your pens...

Now when I count to three and snap my fingers, you'll awake refreshed
And vote Republican

You must admit, there's something devastatingly hypnotic about Mitt Romney's monotone. He's a one-man drone strike. But it's not just Mitt; it's the whole GOP that wants to snap its fingers and have us remember nothing. Who crashed the economy? Who started the wars? Never mind, dance like a chicken!

When these are your talking points, mass hypnosis may be the best way to put them over:

White people are the real victims of racism... You're getting sleepy
Fox News is fair and balanced... You're getting sleepy
Health care is a privilege and not a right
We can work together to wipe out the middle class...

So here's "Vote Republican," a song I wrote with my wife, Melanie Harby. It's a song we've taken on the road, fulfilling a "campaign promise" to perform in all fifty states before the Republican National Convention. In every state we visited, we wrote a new verse, and one by one, we're posting them to YouTube.

Bob Dylan will soon release a 14-minute song about the sinking of the Titanic. We'll be stringing all our "Vote Republican" verses together into a 60-minute serenade to another epic disaster -- the GOP agenda. When you've watched them all, you'll awake refreshed, dance like a chicken, remember nothing and vote Republican.

 

Follow Roy Zimmerman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/meta4records

FOLLOW COMEDY