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Rui Dai

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Americanese: In Between the Gaps

Posted: 05/14/2012 11:47 am

At the turn of twentieth century's last decade, large numbers of Chinese students immigrated to study in Europe and the United States. The dust of Tiananmen Square had just settled. Surprisingly in response, both Chinese and Western governments dramatically loosened restrictions on educational exchange. The Chinese government wanted to send hormonal-driven students overseas in order to reduce political discontent. The western governments were in the early stages of testing ideas that would later crystallize into a theory known as "Brain Gain."

In 1991, there were less than ten thousand international Chinese students in the US. A year later, the number nearly doubled to twenty thousand. Since then, the number of international students in the U.S. has only multiplied. There are currently over 160,000 international Chinese students seeking some kind of educational degree in the United States. That's over sixteen times what it was twenty years ago. The number doesn't even include Chinese students who are U.S. permanent residents or green card holders.

My mother was part of the earlier waves emigrating out of China in 1993. We went to Germany in the search of an overseas education. In 1999, our family of three immigrated to the United States and has since then proudly called Cleveland home.

Over the past decade, I have settled comfortably into my identity as a Chinese-American. I have always thought that it meant I could be both Chinese and American. I have since found that is not completely true. Chinese-American is a separate identity by itself. It indicates someone who is American with physical Chinese features. It is neither completely American, and nor is it purely Chinese.

My parents and I have tried desperately to retain our Chinese roots. At home, we speak Chinglish (Chinese + English) and eat home-cooked traditional Chinese meals. We once even bought a three-foot satellite in an attempt to watch Chinese television directly broadcasted from CCTV.

As a result, I am able to speak Mandarin with barely a detectable accent and for all intents and purposes sound like a native Chinese person. But unless it is on a resume or I am trying to impress someone, I wouldn't call it fluent. My abilities to navigate Chinese society are quite literally at the level of a Chinese third-grade elementary student. I can read and understand the gist of a newspaper article without recognizing every character. I can also write a simple correspondence given that I can look up every other word on a dictionary. If someone were to ask me to name the ancient Chinese dynasties chronologically, I'll be sure to mix up the order and leave a few out.

Despite this I have always thought that if I were to move back to China, I will be able to survive and eventually become accustomed to the lifestyle. I have never been concerned with the seemingly small blemishes in my Chinese education. They really didn't matter in day-to-day experiences. I have always blended in every time that I visited my grandparents in China.

I soon realized that just blending-in was not enough.

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a week-long academic exchange fully sponsored by Duke and Peking University concerning the challenges to higher education in the U.S. and China. I was one of nine Duke students who presented an original thesis concerning a specific challenge that is facing U.S. higher education. One of the things that I noticed on the trip is that whenever I wear a tank top and shorts, people walking pass would look at me suspiciously. Men would look at me with lurid expressions, and women with disdain. At first, I thought it was just my imagination. Then a fellow Chinese-American student informed me that it was because tank tops and shorts are what prostitutes wear on the streets at night.

Why didn't I think of that?

The students from Peking University would never characterize me as truly Chinese. At most, I am just an American-wannabe who has lost my Chinese roots. I am not Chinese enough, but neither am I truly foreign.

And so wouldn't my fellow Duke classmates consider me as American. I can speak Mandarin and have no trouble eating the various strange delicacies that is presented during dinner. Chinese-Americans are usually considered by many as those born in American and can no longer speak Mandarin fluently. Since I was born in China and can at least pretend fluency in Mandarin, I am not really Chinese-American either.

In modern American society, there are two mainstream terms available to describe people of Chinese ancestry. You can either be Chinese-American or international Chinese. Chinese-American means that you're American in every sense of the word, but just has Chinese physical appearance. International Chinese means that you're Chinese, but just happens to live or study in America for a limited amount of time.

I am stuck in the middle and do not belong completely to either.

When my parents first moved to Germany, the concept of Chinese-Germans didn't exist. The term is only slowly starting to emerge in the past decade as more and more Chinese nationals obtain German citizenship.

As more and more international students from all over the world come to the U.S. and become immersed in American culture, perhaps a term like Americanized Chinese or Americanese can also emerge to indicate an identity that is not completely Chinese or quite Chinese-American.

Until that day, I would like to ask for your honest opinion: if you were in a similar position, had to choose between a nationality and Something-American, which one would you choose and why?

 
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11:55 AM on 05/15/2012
The best advice is to forget being anything-anything. Yes, we celebrate our heritage. My ancestors come from an alphabet soup of countries ranging for Mayflower English to the great migration of the 1880's. Celebrating our heritage with pride is important. It explains our differences and gives us a sense of who we are. But what is more important is how we choose to define ourselves. And how much we expect others to be accepting of that definition.

If one wants to be Chinese or American or anything else, be that and be proud. No one has a right to tell anyone differently because no two people are alike. Thus there is no truly REAL definition of American or Chinese or whatever else you choose to be. In the end, what really matters is what we can achieve through the definition of ourselves. You want your name to be the definition of the best human being possible who brings together a wealth of unique experience into a package so great that no one can deny what a special person you are.

So what if some people are less than complimentary of your skills. They should be ignored because of their narrow minds. If you dress in a way that is misunderstood, turn it around and make it a joke told often to educate others on the pitfalls of intercultural interaction. After all, no one is perfect. The greatest reward comes from knowing the positive impact we have on others.
01:15 AM on 05/15/2012
The author is clearly American, however in the US people like her are not considered to be Americans by the majority, and in China she is not treated as a Chinese either for obvious reasons. It's no wonder people like the author are suffering from identity crisis.

Asian Americans in general are still treated as foreign by the media, although this definitely changing for the better. In rural America, Asian Americans still get asked where they are from all the time even when it's clear that they were born in the US. Would people ask a black person where in Africa they were from?

The easiest way to solve this issue is to stop hyphen-nizing America period. People should accept others as Americans regardless the skin of the color, or how long they have been living in the US.
11:37 AM on 05/15/2012
But understand though that to stop hyphenating Americans would be to deny millions of Americans their identities and their histories. To say that she is American, period would be to deny her own experience as an immigrant from China and as a member of a Chinese family who grew up with Chinese culture, traditions and expectations. There is much about her which is American, but there is also plenty about her which is not American and to take that from her would be to do her an injustice.
07:09 PM on 05/15/2012
I think that you misunderstand what xtiangodloki is saying. I do not believe denying one's heritage is the point of the post. Instead, the core seems to be "what is an American?"

American is not a race. American is not a language. American is a dream of freedom and equal opportunity all tied together with hard work, shared by people who live in a specific geographic region, who have developed a system of government that attempts to support that specific set of ideals. That anyone born in the USA or who is legally resident and taken the time to learn the lessons of America should be regarded as an outsider defies these ideals.

America is one of the few countries on earth where the person whose family has lived here for hundreds of years is on equal footing with the person who has just become a naturalized citizen yesterday. Revel in it while still keeping your heritage alive in your heart.

When in China, do as the Chinese do. That is truly being respectful. And when in Rome, do as the Romans do. There is nothing wrong with being an American in America and a Roman when in Rome. And there is nothing wrong with being different if being different is what turns you on. But there is something oppressive about people expecting others to conform to preconceived notions of what they think they should be.
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10:11 PM on 05/14/2012
White-American, African-American, Latin-American or any other sect of -American especially and addition of -nese should never be used. Referring to Citizens of the U.S as American is misleading because there are 3 different Americas [ North, Central and South ]

One is a citizen [ referring to the US] or not a Citizen. Why not use the name ‘Citizen’ since all other addition to American contradicts with equal rights. Attaching race, religion, economic, sex, or ancestry creates barriers and encouragers discrimination.

Why can’t we be called citizens……….unless you support discrimination and a division of the United States. I realize most are proud of their ancestry and want to be known as such. They want to be separated from others, unfortunately, this leads to discrimination, “us-against-them’ mentality, intolerance and hatred.