Last week's article about waking up and not letting your life pass you by elicited some very interesting email traffic. The common theme was one of taking one small step to move forward rather than letting past tendencies drag you down.
Could it be that one small step is all that it takes to recreate your life? Obviously, one step isn't going to change much of anything -- unless, of course, it does! In my work with thousands of people over the years, I have witnessed how the willingness to take that first step, no matter how small or apparently inconsequential, can be all it takes to open up doorways to future opportunity. However, most people won't take that first step either because they don't see how to go from "zero to hero" in one step as one reader put it, or because they keep putting off that one step in favor or a "better time" that never seems to come.
Here's how Jamie put it:
I just read your article on Huffingtonpost.com and it really struck a chord with me. I find myself in limbo at the moment, part of me ready to blast forward in my career and entire life while another part of me is scared to leave the comfortableness I have cradled for the past four years.
I read your article, felt inspired especially by your invitation to email you personally, then emailed it to myself telling myself I will email you at a later time. Well, your article worked so far because I caught myself and decided to take a leap and jump on it and email you right NOW!
I feel the energy moving simply by taking that step and maybe this little boost is what I need to get my ball rolling. But, if you have any extra advice to keep me on a roll I would so appreciate it.
Thank you for the article and inspiring me to even contact you. I feel so energized by taking steps, however small, towards my unknown and I also thank you for reminding me of that feeling.
I received many email messages from people struggling to overcome a wide range of circumstances. Some were up against some pretty rough physical and emotional barriers stemming from previous abuse and physical impairments. Others were dealing with unsupportive family members, flaky friends, disengaged bosses, and the obvious impacts of our bizarre economy.
However, the most common theme had to do with what Jamie points out in her note, the simple challenge of taking that one next step. It would be easy to miss the value of what Jamie highlights here: simply taking a step toward your desired future won't make that future magically appear; however, it could be enough to produce just a little spark of energy. And that little spark is often all it takes to produce just a little forward momentum. And once you get something moving, it's a whole lot easier to keep it moving and something moving is a whole lot easier to steer than something that is dead in the water.
Reader after reader shared stories of frustration from the past -- school endeavors that didn't quite work out, unsupportive parents, physical disability, negative friends and coworkers. The refreshing aspect found in most of these stories was the recognition that the past could continue to hold you back if you so chose, but that moving forward could be as simple as taking that one next step forward.
Another reader who prefers to remain anonymous, wrote this to me:
My job isn't ideal, meaning it's boring, my friends are somewhat flakey, dating life has sucked thus far, and I have begun to feel overwhelmingly more alone as time draws on. I was discussing this with my mom on my way after spending some time with cousins who live abroad. She told me how upset it made her to hear how bored I am with my life at such a young age. And I realized, though I hated to admit it, she was right. I should be seizing every day and enjoying life to its fullest.
So that's when I made the recent decision to move to abroad and I am in the process of looking for jobs overseas as I see that as a grand adventure. I've only just begun this journey and I've already faced a lot of obstacles and a lot of people telling me I can't do it. I have been trying to use all the people shooting me down as even more motivation to succeed. What makes this particularly hard is that my dad who has been one of my biggest supporters so far in my life is now against my choices. I have emphasized to him numerous times how this is my dream and I'm doing everything in my power to get there, but he still remains against it.
After talking to my mom, I asked myself, "What is the purpose of living life if you don't actually intend to live it?" I realized I wanted to live a life that I would enjoy telling people about. I wanted to live one of those lives that you hear stories about and say "Wow I wish I could do that." Well this is me taking action to actually achieve something with my life.
I just wanted to let you know that you're exactly right about how life is passing people by, and from here on out I don't intend to be one of those people.
Thank you for the wake-up call.
So what about you? What excuses do you have that wind up holding you back? What would happen if you were to imagine a future you would prefer and begin moving toward it, one step at a time? Are you allowing past circumstances to dictate your choices today?
What begin with that first step?
I'd love to hear from you so please do leave a comment here or drop me an email at Russell (at) russellbishop.com.
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If you want more information on how you can apply this kind of reframing to your own life, how you can take a few simple steps that may wind up transforming your own life, please download a free chapter from my new book, Workarounds That Work. You'll be glad you did.
Russell Bishop is an educational psychologist, author, executive coach and management consultant based in Santa Barbara, Calif. You can learn more about my work by visiting my website at www.RussellBishop.com. You can contact me by e-mail at Russell (at) russellbishop.com.