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How Has Gratitude Helped You Overcome Life's Challenges?

Posted: 11/15/10 08:47 AM ET

Next week, we will find a flood of articles focused on gratitude as Thanksgiving rounds the corner. I decided to get a head start and write this piece early. In a very real way, this is a personal note of gratitude to Arianna Huffington.

If you have been following these articles over the past few weeks, you will have noticed that I have been encouraging us to engage in a real discourse around moving past the vitriol, blame and frustration that characterize so much of our interaction these days. Of course, that's easier said than done when you consider just how difficult these times have become.

A month ago I suggested that we move past griping and complaining, and shortly thereafter I asked who we should blame for this mess; Jon Stewart's and Stephen Colbert's call to return to sanity provided a wonderful opportunity to engage even more deeply.

These articles, along with many others I have written over the past two years, have all focused on how we can take more personal responsibility for moving forward, for creating a better world of our own making. Each article seemed to elicit a delightful range of comments. Some sought to apply the principle being discussed, while others seized on yet another opportunity to jump on the blame game and criticize the usual suspects for what ails us.

Last week, as I was flying back from a week on the road complete with the usual assortment of late flights, weather and mechanical delays, grumpy people, and various other bumps in the road, I found myself experiencing a profound state of gratitude.

Over the past few years, I have lost clients, lost jobs, lost income, and lost some wonderful friends. As I was sitting around the airport waiting for yet another mechanical problem to be fixed, I found myself aware of the numerous blessings that have arisen in the midst of the apparent loss, and that sense of gratitude filled me.

A couple of years ago, Arianna and I were attending a conference when I bumped into her. Now, I have known Arianna for years, and she had previously asked me if I wanted to blog for The Huffington Post. I always thanked her and declined for any number of curious reasons. This time, however, I found myself saying "yes," and it was almost as though I had no idea who had said "yes."

Arianna then said, "Great. Can you have something ready for Tuesday?" Now, this was Saturday, so Tuesday seemed like 30 minutes away. And, again, "yes" came popping out of my mouth. I was pretty busy with client work and travel at the time, and getting something ready for Tuesday seemed impossible, and yet there I was saying "yes."

What a blessing that turned out to be! Indeed, I did get that first article up and something began unfolding that has propelled me into several completely unexpected outcomes.

You may have noticed that shortly on the heels of that July 2008 introduction to The Huffington Post, the economy began to fall off the cliff. As my client work began disappearing, along with my income, I found that I had more time on my hands. A lot more time. I certainly had my own fears rising as my income plummeted and lots of time to think about what was happening and how I was responding. That combination of fear, experience and time on my hands provided me the opportunity to think about everything that I had been teaching over the years and apply those lessons to my own experience. Indeed, many of those articles from the fall of 2008 through the spring of 2009 were inspired by my own challenges.

Arianna had provided me an opportunity to both contribute to others who were struggling and discover an ability that I did not know I had, the ability to write about the subject of personal and professional improvement in a way that wound up engaging others in their own improvement.

Many people had been encouraging me over the years to write a book based on the work I have been doing with people throughout my career. Despite the encouragement, I kept avoiding the request, mired in various forms of self-doubt.

However, as my client work slipped away, my HuffPost articles provided me with an opportunity to explore multiple themes and receive virtually instantaneous feedback. Along the way, I had a conversation with one of my mentors lamenting my lost income and the perilous slide my bank account was taking toward the abyss. He suggested that I look for the opportunity, for the blessing, that might be present in the apparent loss of work and income.

Part of me struggled with the notion of finding the "silver lining" as my work continued to fall away, even though I would have counseled others to do just that. However, something became increasingly apparent as I began looking for the blessing: I now had the time necessary to not only write these weekly articles, but to also write that book that people kept asking me for. The more I wrote, the more people began asking me for my thoughts on how to translate these ideas into a range of personal and professional improvement opportunities that they could apply in their lives.

As it turned out, the "lost" work turned into found opportunity. By letting go of what I had been doing prior to the meltdown, I was able to discover business and career opportunities that I might otherwise have missed. One of those opportunities turns out to be my first book, which will be released in January. I'll write something about how that book actually came about in a subsequent piece.

For now, I felt inspired to write this post as a kind of "thank-you" note to Arianna for her support, her encouragement and her own courage to keep finding the opportunity amidst the ashes.

I would love to hear from you about your ideas, about what you have done to work around the challenges you are facing, or about what you have seen a friend or neighbor do that has been effective. What do you have to be grateful for amidst the turmoil of the past few years?

Please leave a comment here or drop me an e-mail to let me know your experience.

***


Russell Bishop is an educational psychologist, author, executive coach and management consultant based in Santa Barbara, California. Watch for his new book, "Workarounds That Work: How to Conquer Anything That Stands in Your Way at Work," which will be released Jan. 10, 2011. You can find out more about Russell at workaroundsthatwork.com. Contact Russell by e-mail at Russell.Bishop@workaroundsthatwork.com.

Download a free chapter of his new book by going to workaroundsthatwork.com and clicking "Download a free chapter."

 
 
 

Follow Russell Bishop on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Russell_Bishop

Next week, we will find a flood of articles focused on gratitude as Thanksgiving rounds the corner. I decided to get a head start and write this piece early. In a very real way, this is a personal n...
Next week, we will find a flood of articles focused on gratitude as Thanksgiving rounds the corner. I decided to get a head start and write this piece early. In a very real way, this is a personal n...
 
 
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06:25 AM on 11/20/2010
No complaints and no regrets
I still believe in chasing dreams and placing bets
But I have learned that all you give is all you get
So give it all you got

I had my share – I drank my fill.
...and even though I'm satisfied, I'm hungry still
To see what's down another road, beyond the hill
...and do it all again

So here's to life -- and every joy it brings
So here's to life -- to dreamers and their dreams

Funny -- how the time just flies
How love can go – from warm hellos, to sad goodbyes
...and leave you with the memories you memorized
...to keep your winters warm

But there is no yes in yesterday
...and who knows what tomorrow brings or takes away
As long as I'm still in the game I want to play
...for laughs, for life, for love

So here's to life and every joy it brings
Here's to life.....for dreamers and their dreams

May all your storms be weathered
...and all that's good get better
Here's to life, here's to love, here's to you

May all your storms be weathered
...and all that's good get better
Here's to life, here's to love, here's to you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmoIkh6BC-g

May we all give thanks for the opportunity another day brings...to smile, to care, to take another step towards our God given or inborn potential.
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yinkadlb8
Having a glimpse of a sunny day.
04:11 AM on 11/19/2010
Its really an eye opening article. Most people loose sleep over lost opportunities, believing all is lost or that other better avenues to enhancing one's lifestyle may never arise. The truth is that one could find an oasis even in the midst of our desert life IF WE LOOK HARD ENOUGH. Speaking for myself, the profession in which I am, is not what I had planned for myself, but I am making good use of knowledge and skills gained for excellent or qualitative output which has really brightened my chances of securing a better standard of living for which I'm grateful for. We fail to see that being grateful for the "little" opened door in unexpected places or projects could actually be the platform to higher levels achievements in life, bringing with it better standards of living not dreamed about.
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Steamboater
Forget hope. Agitate.
01:08 PM on 11/16/2010
Life's can be a b*tch though when you always have to live it looking for the "silver lining". I say this because complaining is not just what people do when we're at war that goes on and on and at such an enormous expense in blood and money, when you're denied equal rights and get ths constant rehash of an argument as to whether you're even worthy of equality, when kids are committing suicide because they're made to feel by a bullying government and other kids and society at large that they are 'The Other', not to be trusted, unpatriotic even and and treacherous and should be suspected at al times of preying on others. Maybe what we have to be grateful for then is that we do have that option to 'complain'.    
12:26 PM on 11/16/2010
Taking a moment to be grateful daily is one of the most powerful ways I have found to stay happy and open to wonderful opportunities even in hard times.
02:21 AM on 11/16/2010
"Gratitude" is one of the fundamental differences between Republicans and Democrats. My parents worked their butts off when I was young so that even though we were lower middle class, I was able to go to an ivy league college, also with a lot of help from their guidance. On the other hand, I spent many summers working in their grocery store in a very bad neighborhood and saw how parents there treated their kids. As a result, even though I came from a modest background and worked very hard, I know how lucky I am and do not mind paying more taxes for the benefit of others. On the other hand, many Republicans think their fortunate status came mainly with just their own effort and not circumstance, and think that those less fortunate "just don't work hard enough"

Many Republicans will say this is untrue and claim that they just don't like "wasteful spending." My question for them is "Who does?"
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oldfuzz
...within my mind
07:29 PM on 11/15/2010
I have not tried to overcome life's challenges, but I have embraced them as what comes next. The most difficult of these was being diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease and having fourteen chemo sessions over a seven month period, but that was fine. I gave away my suits and decided to live in a more accepting way. Then it dawned on me, I can't die. I have nothing to wear.
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Weirdwriter
09:51 PM on 11/15/2010
ROLMAO! Ah, fanned, indeed!

Hope you're doing better now.
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Christopher Bowen
Author of, Our Kids; Building Relationships in the
06:54 PM on 11/15/2010
I have used gratitude as a teaching tool in my classrooms over the years. Kids would work in a learning center named, "Attitude of Gratitude." They needed to write letters to people about how grateful they were for having them in their lives or for something that person did for them, directly or indirectly. Though this isn't very scientific, I did notice fewer fights and behavior problems with the kids. I believe their conscious practice of gratitude played an important part in this. Another quick tip. Whenever the kids called someone a name or acted badly towards someone, they had to say three nice things about that person. It changed the climate in my classroom.

Chris Bowen
Author of "Our Kids: Building Relationships in the Classroom"
07:07 PM on 11/15/2010
Thank you
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Steamboater
Forget hope. Agitate.
01:18 PM on 11/16/2010
Gratitude does keep you going though. About five years my lover of 24 years died after having lived with a congenital heart disease that he knew would eventually kill him. The day after he died DCS took the two kids we had for 6 years and who he had adopted and placed them back into foster care because I had no rights. Eight months later, my mom died and the day after that, my dog. All of this and so quickly within less than a year's time so I wasn't in the best of condition for a very long time. Still, what choice to do you have but to be grateful for what you did have and to focus on the good memories and good times and know that there was time when the world was good and everything fell into place and you were loved and loved. So many peope go through life without anything near what I had. Without that there's nothing and nothing to really live for, and I was determined to live.  
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Scott Schwenk
01:38 PM on 11/18/2010
Wow! I'd like to see what you've written about walking all the way through that @Steamboater! A lot of these tools we talk about and write about really are powerful, yet when the intensity level gets beyond a certain point (way beyond said person's known capacities), how a person navigates the minute-by-minute fascinates me.
06:06 PM on 11/15/2010
I decided to quit my job and move to Costa Rica. They are a happy culture here and I find moments of deep gratitude in the smallest things. This experience helped me appreciate so much more in my life. Today I meditated at sunrise, just anticipating the 75 degree day that was coming. A flock of parrots flew overhead and felt this moment was more valuable than any monetary possession. I write more about moving to Costa Rica and the cost of living at my blog:
www.happierthanabillionaire.com
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Mr Sick Of Greed
05:48 PM on 11/15/2010
Grateful to be breathing.....that is a blessing that no one should ever take for granted
Grateful for family and friends......and grateful to GOD!
05:15 PM on 11/15/2010
I decided at the beginning of this month to write 5-10 things every day that I am thankful/grateful to be able to experience in my life. I've got a notebook set aside for it and bring it with me most places. It's a very uplifting thing to do and it only takes a few minutes. I think that if I'm ever feeling blue or even indifferent I'll flick through it to remind myself of all the amazing things and people that make life so sweet.
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Marcus01
It all just seems like it's real
04:26 PM on 11/15/2010
What am I grateful for? Where to begin? How to condense it?

Firstly, I am grateful to you, Mr Bishop, for providing so many thoughtful articles that in turn spur so much insightful soul-searching.

I am also grateful for all the good things in my life: the opportunity to work from home, friends, family, wonderful insights and new understandings all the time.

I am particularly grateful for the "bad and ugly": the difficult challenges, the perceived harms, the really awful experiences that have resulted in such powerful lessons. I am grateful for the power of forgiveness, as it's enabled me to release energy that would otherwise gnaw away from the inside and eventually cause sickness. I am grateful for discovering higher levels of forgiveness that have led to appreciation, and gratitude, and love for those I could have easily seen as tormentors but instead see as great teachers. What's not to love?

I'm grateful for good company, good food, good wine, beautiful women whose beauty is manifest is so many different and subtle ways. Grateful for sunny days, cloudy days, cold, stormy days and every day I get to spend living in these beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains.

When you come right down to it and peel away the layers of ego-based dissatisfaction, what's not to be grateful for?

Most of all, and perhaps most importantly, I am grateful for the opportunity to be of service to others. What could possibly be better than that?
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CryptoKnight
02:34 PM on 11/15/2010
I am grateful the GOP did not take the senate.
I am grateful George Bush is out of office.
I am grateful for our troops.
02:09 PM on 11/15/2010
I'm teaching memoir right now, and gratitude (even in the midst of hard circumstances) matters so much as we restructure our pasts. It's been a great journey for me to think about the joy in each day with Live with Flair. Here's the memoir / gratitude post. http://livewithflair.blogspot.com/2010/11/detail-that-changes-everything.html
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shar
writer/community builder
01:21 PM on 11/15/2010
RB- I could go on and on with details regarding how this economic/political state of affairs has affected nearly every aspect of my life. However, knowing this is now and not always and not who I am but how things are presently fills me with gratitude. Insight… it’s a beautiful thing ;)

I look forward to everything you write. I do not give you all the credit for who I am... but I do give you credit for sharing your profound INSIGHT and for your ability to forge ahead with the highest expectations despite/because of every bit of reality happening right-now-this-minute, while blatantly encouraging we do the same. I am also deeply grateful to you for talking to/working with me as an equal. There was a time when women in business were not heard. You’ve always encouraged me to contribute and you HEAR me when I do. There is no substitute for listening and acknowledgment.
Thank you always! sk
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littlepuffycloud
I propose a toast to my self control...
11:52 AM on 11/15/2010
'What you don't have you don't need it now.'

U2