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Russell Bishop

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What Do You Want Out Of Life, Really?

Posted: 08/11/09 08:48 AM ET

How fulfilled do you find yourself these days? Do you even think about living life in a way that is fulfilling, or is it enough to just get by? Does it even matter?

Some people live a life of aspiration, some settle for goals, and still others are doing what they can to "just get by."

Lest we get distracted here, I have spent some considerable amount of my life "just getting by." When my family lost everything (dad died, insurance company denied coverage for his leukemia, insurance company denied death benefit, family forced into bankruptcy, etc) and I wound up living in my beater of a car, I had some experience with "just getting by."

Only, not really.

These were the 60's and my version of getting by was working full time washing dishes in one of the campus cafeterias while scrambling to stay in school. I was also actively involved in the civil rights movement, although not nearly as conscious about the process as I might like to give myself credit for being.

One day, on a protest line, I wound up getting hit by a tear gas canister. As I picked it up and started to throw it back, I suddenly, and inexplicably, found myself looking back at myself, as though I were a spectator to my own activity. And then I heard myself screaming, "why don't you a**holes love us?"

At that moment, life began changing in profound and meaningful ways. As wave after wave of awareness broke over me, I saw the contradiction of my life to that point: my message was love and peace, and my strategy was to yell, scream and throw things.

Up to that point, I had lived my life with a series of goals. Not the most meaningful goals, but goals nonetheless. Get a job (after the first bankruptcy). Make the track team. Win a medal. Get into college. Find a way to stay in college.

I was pretty good at setting goals and achieving those goals. And, still, life wasn't all that fulfilling. Only I didn't notice. There was always something else to do, some hurdle to overcome, and, of course, the challenge of just making it through another week.

And then that tear canister hit me, or perhaps more accurately stated, that tear gas canister awakened me.

As I can see so clearly now, with the benefit of time, experience and insight, that little awareness about loving vs. screaming, opened me up to an expanded realization of what really mattered to me. That moment is one that I characterize today as one of inspiration. I was inspired by a higher source, and inspired toward a higher purpose.

According to Random House, the word inspire means: • to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence: • to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence • to guide or control by divine influence.

Indeed, I was inspired to turn my life into something more than achieving goals, overcoming difficult situations, and surviving to fight another day. My focus on goals shifted toward a life of aspiration.

Random House defines aspiration as: • strong desire, longing, or aim; ambition: intellectual aspirations • a goal or objective desired

When you dig a bit further into the epistemology of these words, it turns out that they both share a common lineage, all stemming from a 13th century root word meaning an animating or vital principal, from old French and Latin words meaning soul, courage, and breath.

Curiously, inspiration and aspiration¸ all share that same common root word meaning to breathe or to breathe in. And the older usages all point toward a form of "divine inspiration" as in "the breath of life," often referred to as spirit.

In that odd moment on a strike line about civil rights, I was indeed inspired to seek a higher level of goals in life. Mine was to move from achieving the kinds of things you could measure with a check list, to a life of aspiration. To me, this was a moment of divine inspiration.

That divine inspiration came from within. No preacher, sermon or set of dogma told me what to do. I began awakening to that which resided inside of me, to my Spirit, to my Soul, to my connection with the Divine.

It became increasingly clear that I wanted my life to be about making a difference in the quality of life as measured by the qualities of loving and caring.

I have focused my work on enabling others to expand their own awareness of what matters most to them while also enabling me to live a good and abundant life. These columns are but a current form of sharing insights and awareness, most often in the form of exploring common, sometimes current events and experiences.

Underneath it all, you will find a common thread in the form of a question, often unspoken: what is it that matters most to you? Why does it matter? What are you hoping to experience?

My thought is that most of us are seeking to live a life of aspiration and inspiration. What inspires you? Are you focused on goals? Just getting by? Would you prefer to lead a life characterized by higher levels of aspiration, of service, and of caring?

What if you could aspire to an inspired life? And what if that life could also be one of success and fulfillment?

We will explore these themes and more in the coming weeks. Please let me know what matters to you, what questions you would like to see us explore, and any thoughts or advice you have for making life more rewarding and more fulfilling.

***

You can find out more about Russell Bishop at http://www.lessonsinthekeyoflife.com. Contact Russell at: russell@lessonsinthekeyoflife.com

Russell is an Educational Psychologist, professional life coach and management consultant, based in Santa Barbara California.

 
 
 

Follow Russell Bishop on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Russell_Bishop

How fulfilled do you find yourself these days? Do you even think about living life in a way that is fulfilling, or is it enough to just get by? Does it even matter? Some people live a life of aspir...
How fulfilled do you find yourself these days? Do you even think about living life in a way that is fulfilling, or is it enough to just get by? Does it even matter? Some people live a life of aspir...
 
 
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01:14 AM on 08/14/2009
I think our only purpose in life is to create and what we create is a reflection and expression of us its who we are, the only real aspirations that I have in this life is to live it in a postive way so that whatever I create will be a reflection of that!
10:05 PM on 08/13/2009
I want to learn things and take others with me. I would say that being a teacher is ideal but I also want respect. I might be happier if I dropped the need for respect.
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alkamm
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
03:30 AM on 08/14/2009
As a teacher, I decided long ago that some of my teaching will get through immediately and be respected, but that much of what I teach will lie beneath the level of attention and feedback I'd prefer in a better of all possible worlds. So some of it will sink in later, or not. The trick is having the faith to continue teaching all you can without having to worry about what gets through to the students and what doesn't. You learn to repeat yourself this way without worrying about it.
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surferjay
09:13 PM on 08/13/2009
An ex friend of mine once said "I have lived my life using the least amount of effort to just get by". Well he now lives in a dirty, dank, crime ridden apartment. He has a boring, dead end job way below his skill level that he hates. He rarely baths, wears dirty stinky clothes and does not brush his teeth. His family has little to do with him and might not show up for his funeral. He has no friends anymore, only a person who constantly berates, cheats and abuses him. He is in a living hell on this earth that he has created! Beware being lazy and idiotic.
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alkamm
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
03:31 AM on 08/14/2009
It takes a lot of effort to dedicate yourself to limiting yourself, but we can all do it if we try.
04:00 PM on 08/13/2009
Ironically, my moment of clarity that "was inspired by a higher source, and inspired toward a higher purpose," came about from getting high. I grew up with a more conservative point of view of the world and even believed whole heartedly in a supreme being which I held until my sophomore year in college, or basically, one of the most important as well as happiest decisions I have ever made. Now my 180 on ideology didn't happen overnight, but it did give me the sense that we are all fallible, including when we make laws or believe in the impossible. I am now 27 and have an overwhelming sense that there is so much I can contribute. Perhaps not in a hands on kind of way, such as a dr., but I do constantly write to local papers on the things that are morally wrong on the public stage while putting it into perspective on a personal level. I can honestly say that I really have no desire for wealth or to experience what only a few have experience for that reason. I work to get by, but I write to change the world. When I am dead and gone, my personal possessions will mean nothing; a mentality shift for the better in society as a whole, is one of the only goals that I desire to achieve and won't ever know if I was a success, because the moment it's realized, I will already be gone.
03:59 PM on 08/13/2009
When our son got into the school of his & our dreams, the university president told incoming freshman parents (tongue in cheek, of course) that we had achieved our life's ambition and could sit back & relax. Now that my son is heading back for his sophomore year, I'm ready to be inspired. I look forward to your forthcoming posts.
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Nathaliefranks
09:57 AM on 08/13/2009
I met a watchmaker yesterday who to me was a living example of happiness.

He works in a tiny cubicle in a main tube station in London and puts battery's into watches and fixes and services most watches from Rolex to Franck Muller. People come to him from all over London, why because he does a great job and he costs a third of any big retailer. He has an inate sense of wisdom and a great sense of humour. He could work for any big establishment but chooses his own hours and his own prices.

He was yesterdays gift to me.
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01:03 AM on 08/13/2009
Your use of the word "aspiration" clicked with me.
I've never been goal oriented, but I've always had aspirations. They take the form of ingredients in the answer to the question: Who do I want to be?

Some of the ingredients:

Engage in the struggle between being special in the world of my own creation and not being special but being a part of the universe. This is the all-encompassing one, and is lifelong.

Being open to the truth, whatever it may be. This isn't attainable because I'm always in the way - my psychology, my ego, my beliefs and opinions - but recognizing my own inherent, and self-imposed, limitations helps me to see beyond them.
A big part of this is the notion that the truth, whatever it is, is independent of me. It doesn't care what I think it is, or what I want or need it to be. It just is, and I can be open to it or not.

Objectivity is related to this. Objectivity is seeing the world independent of who I am.

Acceptance that things are as they are. This is the opposite of denial.

I probably have more to say, but I've run out of thoughts.
yappnmutt
humping legs for liberty
12:27 AM on 08/13/2009
this subject always makes me chuckle because it is the essence of the human conundrum. when one really drills down upon an answer the path leads to the opposing question, "does life offer anything?". the trap that is the human mind should lead one to reject that question but it is undeniable that no other living thing has ever asked either question of their existence. it is only the the ability to confuse oneself that leads to confusing questions that, if you let them, follow you for all your life. it is humbling to some and a great source of arrogance to most. the answer to these questions and the path taken in search of the answers is the source of both happiness and misery. so then, one must question the merit of asking these questions or simply following a rudderless(questionless) path through life in search of the essence of the human mind trap, love, giving and receiving.

think good, be good, do good.
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James M. Lynch
Coach, Author, Seminar Leader
09:20 AM on 08/12/2009
Russell,
Thanks for this great post. Your story about your dad is very close to mine and I grew up standing very quietly against the wall with my mother and other family members so that the creditors knocking on the front door would think we weren't home. I grew to value being open, honest and 'opening the door' no matter who or what was knocking; facing my fears.
What I'd like in this life is to continue helping others live a life of passion and joy and not get hung up in the cynicism and defeatism I run into all too often. I have a certain lack of patience sometimes so I could use more of your 'tear gas' realizations. Your piece this morning is the kind of thing I need, a reminder that there are more people out there speaking up for a better life for all. I'll visit your site today.
Thanks for writing this, for sharing and for doing the work you do.
James M. Lynch
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Russell Bishop
Author, Productivity Consultant, Executive Coach
11:15 AM on 08/12/2009
And thank you, James. We certainly do need more voices out there helping one another open to possibility and to what matters most. I am particularly grateful for those who have experienced the less than pretty side of life and who have stepped past the limitation in a way that enables them to share personal stories of transformation. Thanks for you commitment and contribution.
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terramartom
Grapes of Wrath!
09:07 AM on 08/12/2009
Pat yourselves on the back folks, the checks keep coming in.
The simple awareness that each and every day of life is the gift of being alive.
There are no guarantees that anybody wakes up today. Rich, poor, famous, homeless.
Health, awareness of Health, knowledge of Health, practice of good health, appreciation of good Health, is what Happiness is derived from.
Forget fictional religions, superstitions, and simple Human mental fraud.
Happiness is learned, and than it is internalized, and becomes intangible never to be given, or taken.
Cause and effect.
Choice, Consequence, and Responsibility.
Responsibility for one's own actions is the missing element of the Modern thinking Human.
It is as important now as it has been in any moment of Human existance.
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Russell Bishop
Author, Productivity Consultant, Executive Coach
11:17 AM on 08/12/2009
Amen to that! I can only imagine what life would be like if we had a more global consciousness of responsibility.
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monicaangela
“Every human longs for peace and love.
06:36 AM on 08/12/2009
What do I want out of life?

Excellent question, as has already been stated by many commenters.

I would like to extract greed from the minds of those who feel they have to have an over abundance of what life has to offer, at the expense of the rest of mankind here on earth. I would like human beings who seem to have dominated the earth to realize the jewel they have and to care for it and all of it's inhabitants. I would like time, time for all to enjoy the diamonds that are dew on the grass in the morning, time to own true and experience gold, gold that is the shine on my son's face as the sun reflects the beauty in his skin tone. I would like all people to care for their families, young as well as old, I would like to live in a community where neighbors follow the golden rule. I would like a world without greed, a world where the wealthy are not squeezing the life out of the middle class and poor, causing them to migrate to unknown climates and conditions in order to subside, I would like nuclear weapons eliminated from the earth, and serious talks between governments as to how to care for the people and not for what they feel are treasures that they have laid up. I plan to do my part to help bring this about until I breathe my last breath and move on.
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Russell Bishop
Author, Productivity Consultant, Executive Coach
11:18 AM on 08/12/2009
Thank you for your Being and commitment to the simple truths of life and love.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
04:33 AM on 08/12/2009
Such a great question, Russell.

What I want,really?

To grow the love in my life by sharing more of it. To appreciate fully all of the many blessings I presently enjoy. To inspire others with fresh hope and confidence in the innate goodness of life. To grow closer to my experience of the Divine in my everyday life. Be open to the best that life has for me. Then I would say etc because there is so much goodness that I cannot possibly imagine, even in my wildest dreams.

Thank you for your inspiring post.

Blessings to you,
Anne
11:37 PM on 08/11/2009
my sister killed my mom. she has been squatting in the family home since 2007. she did a gimmick when my dad beat my mom in early 2007-- created a restraining order against my father. put her name on it when she did not even live in the house. also she had my mom put all the money into an account with her name on it with my moms name. i have called the f.b.i. the i.r.s. and somebody else. nobody wants to help nobody nobody nobdy
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JohnFromCensornati
Free your mind and your ass will follow.
06:13 AM on 08/12/2009
That's a pretty horrendous, if confusing story. Why did you tell it here? Because what you want out of life is your sister out of your life?
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monicaangela
“Every human longs for peace and love.
06:47 AM on 08/12/2009
It appears you are talking to everyone but your sister. Also too, is it the inheritance you wish to share? Is the home the reason for your bitterness, or is it that you feel your sister has committed a crime against you and the rest of your family and has gotten away with it. Instead of calling the f.b.i. and the i.r.s., you maybe should have gotten yourself a lawyer, sat down and discussed the issue and found out if you had any basis to bring a case against your sister. Time wasted trying to bring her to justice might be time you could use fulfilling a dream that would bring happiness to your life, if she is wrong and has done the things you say, she won't be happy with any of it. Seek your happiness and not her destruction, she's your sister...let her live or d i e with her mistakes, just don't make the mistake of contributing to her folly.
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Dr. Judith Rich
Because life's too short to wear tight shoes.
11:12 PM on 08/11/2009
Hi Russell,

Great post! I sound like an echo of Kari, but I agree. I think this is one of your best. Thanks for sharing your powerful story. It's amazing how life works.

What do I want out of life? To be in service. To serve life to my highest ability and be open to receiving its blessings and abundance. I see it all as a big circle. What goes round comes around. So to be part of the greater flow that supports human beings aligning with their higher purpose, to be able to make some kind of difference along the way, to love well and receive love, that's it for me.

Thanks so much for the opportunity to reflect on a very important question.

Many blessings
Judith
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Russell Bishop
Author, Productivity Consultant, Executive Coach
01:13 AM on 08/12/2009
You ARE service and your gracious, courageous willingness to share your story as you elevate about the BC is just marvelous.

Blessings to you!
11:08 PM on 08/11/2009
Is life always about yearning for more? Thanks to Russell Bishop who believes in sharing change through awakenings on fulfillment. Truly one, who loses it all, knows it all. Life at full speed often loses its purpose. Money, money and more money are the rules of the game. If this is the change that we yearn then why bother for soul search or the art of living? I however feel living starts by giving, when one attunes to sharing happiness, prosperity or a piece of bread with others. Faith in god, in oneself and in others is the connecting spirit in humanity and the act of giving. Faith never shares facts, and giving never requires any. If quality of life is defined through materialistic possessions then we sure have achieved a lot, but what about our inner fulfillment? In spite of all the good wines, traveling round the globe and designer pieces, why do we yet feel unfulfilled? Is then “giving” an obligation only of missionaries or charities?

Art of giving commemorates the purpose of existence. A heart that aspires for such acts truly embodies inner peace and an outer purpose. The act of proffering is truly aesthetic and ecstatic. One who has more, should give more and service before self, are values that are immortal. Moreover, children need to imbibe “giving” at toddler years. If a child today can share a bag of potato chips, I wonder what all he would learn to share through his youthful years.