THE BLOG

Satire: Fearful, Racist Border-Stater on Illegal Immigration

05/25/2011 11:55 am ET

Note: There is a time to fight prejudice, and then there is a time to laugh at prejudice. Because prejudice is toxic, sometimes ridicule is the best disinfectant.

In that vein, I can imagine one of those anti-immigrant, English-first, arguably racist red staters making a post like this:

I been reading and watch all this stuff about anmesty for illegal imigrants and I think lots of things to myself that I want to right about here.

Now as a Christian man I don't have no trouble with no Hespanic people. As a matter of fact they is two families of Hespanic disent that belog to our church and Maria is always voluntering for extra work with bake sales and all. And I have worked along side many hard working and good Spanish people who put in a good days work for a good days pay.

But when I see so many of them jump the borders fences and come here and try to take jobs and then there kids get sick and we taxpayers have to pay for that then it is then I start to get resentful.

And also the fact is that so many of them dont learn English. I got no problem with them speaking Spanish at home but if they want to go get jobs and drivers licenses and all and want to rent apartments they should at least be able to be understood.

And then there is the mater of national security and all.

I remember watching Fox News not long after nine elven and a terrist expert comes on and says that Al-kaida could sneak terrists across the border and they could even be carrying suitcase nucular weapon and other weapons of mass destruction. And this man whos name I canot remember and I apolagize for that says that this could be done easy because our border is not patroled well and some Latinose and Arabs they look something alike each other and so an Arab terrist could come across the Rio Gran and be mistook for a Mexican and all and we wood not even know if he was hear on account of him not having no papers.

But I want to repeat here I got no problem with Hespanic people. But when they dont speak English is when I start to get nervous.

So if I was to talk to one of these fellers that came hear illegally heres what I would tell them.

Trust is earned, sir.

And my country was attaked, sir. My country is at war, sir. And if I can not understand you sir, and you can not understand me, sir, then I can not trust you sir.

And if I can not trust you , then we got some big problems, ombree.