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Bachelorette - June 1st Re-Cap

07/02/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Jillian couldn't keep her eyelids open -- and that's a shame 'cause she could have seen some serious beef with Juan and David.

Not really -- David verbally berated Juan in front of the rest of the dudes, capping it off by calling him a cheese ass! What's a cheese ass? Hard to say, but I'm sure we'll get it sorted out come reunion show.

Ed and Sasha each got individual dates, but only one of them got a rose. Ed and Jillian's date was falling off a building -- on a rope -- at 0.5 mph. Apparently, that's an adventure? It was for easy-to-please Jillian as she gave Ed the first rose.

Sasha moved a bit faster, literally. He and Jillian's date was speeding around in a Ferrari. He went a little too fast with Jillian too, calling her his unicorn. She dumped his mythical wolfman ass.

The group date featured a bunch of nonsense and Robby stole the show by acting like a scared puppy. He got one of the early roses.

David went on a tear, swearing at everything but mostly Juan who remained content playing Jillian's gay bestie.

Wes continued his crooning, even though everyone but Jillian wanted him to stop, and she only let him continue 'cause she was high on gin.

Sadly, the episode came to an end as Tanner P. and Brad were shown the door -- a blessing in disguise if you ask us based on the seemingly disproportionate amount of time Jillian appears to be wasted.

Big Winner: David (12 points)
David got his points the hard way as he racked up an incredible 10 bleeps from ABC. That equals 10 Bachelor Points. Plus, we're pretty sure he's drinking straight gasoline. Honorable mention to Ed (10 points) who may or may not have been replaced with a robot.

Big Loser: Sasha (3 points)
Jake and Jesse received fewer Bachelor Points but Sasha was the bring loser of the night. He turned a precious one on one date into a trip home on a public bus. Let this be a lesson to all you bachelors out there: don't compare you and your boo to a wolf and a unicorn. Unless you're 6. Then it's cute.

Don't forget, we liveblog each week so join us for realtime commentary and Bachelor Point tallying!

SCOREBOARD:

After two straight wins, Team Meathead (formerly Team Stef, at least until David is sent packing) has more points. But Team Cheese-Ass (formerly Team Ryan, at least until Juan goes home) has the roster advantage with seven Bachelors still in play.

Team Meathead 94 - Team Cheese-Ass 80

TEAM MEATHEAD (45 points this week, 94 overall)

DAVID (12, 20)
KIPTYN (7, 15)
ED (10, 15)
MIKE (4, 9)
JAKE (2, 9)
MICHAEL (4, 8)
BRAD (3, 9) ELIMINATED
TANNER F. (3, 5) ELIMINATED
SIMON (0, 2) ELIMINATED
BRIAN (0, 2) ELIMINATED

TEAM CHEESE-ASS (41 points this week, 80 overall)

WES (9, 16)
JUAN (6, 15)
REID (6, 9)
ROBBY (7, 9)
TANNER P. (4, 8)
MARK (4, 8)
JESSE (2, 6)
SASHA (3, 7) ELIMINATED
MATHUE (0, 2) ELIMINATED
JULIEN (0, 0) ELIMINATED

you can find a explanation of Bachelor Points at the bottom of this post