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The Bachelorette - June 22nd Recap

07/23/2009 05:12 am 05:12:01 | Updated May 25, 2011

You break up with people for being too perfect all the time, right? Us too...wait, we don't have the bravery to do that. But I know someone who does...ladies and gentlemen -- Jillian Boozehound Harris!

We started on a train ride to nowhere Alberta. Robby tried to turn it into a love train on the first one-on-one date. Problem is he could get lost driving a train. (To clarify that witticism, you can't get lost driving a train -- they're on a rail.) Regardless, he got the Hobo Heave-Ho and was sent off with his possessions on his back as Ms. Harris thought him not ready for marriage for at least five or 10 years. She's ready now, duh.

The group date was snow-walking. A little slower than snow-speed-walking. Cause of the snow. All but Reid partook, and his nervous jellybean ass asked the train employees for romantic advice. Judging by the train attendants I've seen, he might as well ask LiLo for weight gain tips. Kiptyn got the early rose, cause he makes Harris all drunk -- without the booze!

Reid navigated the one-on-one date with ease, though he worried about the sanitary nature of fondue. He also doesn't like it if his socks aren't ironed. Somehow, Jillian is falling deep for this roly-poly piece of soggy white bread.

With Robby walking the rails, there were still two Bachelors to deprive of flowers. Wes did his best to be one of them, crowing to anyone and everyone that he came on the show just for the music and that he is generally uninterested in Jillian.

Many people are probably up in arms about Jake not getting a rose. He was handsome, charming, seemed nice enough. But in the end, he was probably too good for Jillian, and somewhere deep down, she knew it too. Tanner once more tried to tell Jillian how much he liked her feet. Sadly, it was for the last time as he was sent home also.

Four and a half Bachelors remain as Wes already has one foot out the door.

Biggest Winner: Michael (6 points)
Michael somehow avoided the same fate as his brethren, Robby. In fact, when Robby was booted essentially for being too young, Michael started sweating out of his eyes. Oh, those were tears? Wow, not a lot of winners this week. Somehow, he bested The Pilot. A winner by default.
Honorable Mention: Pass.

Biggest Loser: Jillian (negative 300 points)
I get it, you think Jake is "too perfect". But why would you pick his puppy I mean, younger brother , er, Michael? They're not actually related, but all sorts of logic issues crop up here. Robby isn't ready for marriage, but 25 year old break dancing, H & M model wannabe Michael is? It's possible to find someone who seems too genuine, too handsome, too ready to marry you, and too totally into you? Oh, we get it! You thought he was a robot. Lord knows what will happen when you find out that Wes is a snake-rat. Honorable Mention: Wes (5 points). Cause, really, yuk. What a scum bucket.

Don't forget, we liveblog each week so join us for real time commentary and Bachelor Point tallying!

Scoreboard:

Team Ryan really took it to Team Stef, pressing the two-Bachelor advantage. The advantage diminishes next week, with Team Ryan down to three Bachelors and Team Stef at two.

Team Ryan 180 - Team Stef 165

TEAM RYAN (31 points this week, 180 overall)

WES (5, 33)
JESSE (9, 32)
REID (7, 25)
ROBBY (3, 23) ELIMINATED
TANNER P. (7, 24) ELIMINATED
MARK (0, 15) ELIMINATED
JUAN (0, 19) ELIMINATED
SASHA (0, 7) ELIMINATED
MATHUE (0, 2) ELIMINATED
JULIEN (0, 0) ELIMINATED

TEAM STEF (15 points this week, 165 overall)

KIPTYN (9, 44)
MICHAEL (4, 22)
JAKE (4, 17) ELIMINATED
ED (0, 25) ELIMINATED GONE
DAVID (0, 25) ELIMINATED
MIKE (0, 12) ELIMINATED
BRAD (0, 9) ELIMINATED
TANNER F. (0, 5) ELIMINATED
SIMON (0, 2) ELIMINATED
BRIAN (0, 2) ELIMINATED

you can find a explanation of Bachelor Points at the bottom of this post