I'll never forget the night I really talked to Matt (not his real name) about his sexuality and what that meant for him. He was the son of one of the prominent couples in my church. Matt had come out to his parents and his church years before. But they were new in our town and at first all we knew was that their son didn't attend church.
Eventually I learned that Matt was gay and heard the painful stories that always go along with that discovery. He was a remarkably talented pianist and used to play for his church when he was younger. I and other leaders of our church reassured Matt that he was welcome at our church anytime and that we'd love to hear him play the piano in worship. It took a while, but he finally did join us and even played the piano on occasion.
One night I finally mustered the courage to ask Matt about his life experience. It was the kind of conversation that presupposes a trusting relationship. He described a fun and exciting world of clubs and bars, but with a twinge of sadness. He confessed that for him it had become a self-destructive environment but it seemed like the only place where gays and lesbians could find any peace and acceptance in our culture.
Now it was my turn to be sad. I remember that moment like it was yesterday because I said to Matt, "Isn't that what the church is supposed to be? A community of love and grace and acceptance that can't be found anywhere else on earth?" Matt laughed politely but I could tell he found the idea naive if not downright preposterous.
A lot has changed since I had that conversation with Matt. I have changed, the culture has changed and yes, the church has also changed -- in most cases, for the better. Which is why I am excited that a group of Seventh-day Adventist filmmakers and activists has come together to create an It Gets Better video for Adventists (and as part of the larger It Gets Better campaign).
There is also a longer version of this video, where you can experience more fully the power of these stories to inspire hope in the hearts of young people about their future.
Through the years I have had the privilege of hearing dozens of stories like this first hand. In spite of the variety, some elements are almost always the same. For instance, I have not met a single person who has, in any sense, chosen to be gay. They have all discovered it about themselves, just as we all discover our sexuality in adolescence. More importantly, and in spite of what I have heard some pastors claim, I have never met a single person who is "thumbing her nose" at God. I do, however, know many gays and lesbians who feel God has rejected them, thumbing His nose at them! Where could they have possibly gotten that idea?
It is the responsibility of churches -- and church leaders -- to create safe and accepting communities of worship and fellowship for everyone, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. Many churches will read this as old news and perhaps scoff at their more conservative counterparts in the church. But I think we can all agree that any progress toward more welcoming and safe Christian communities is something to celebrate. Throughout the New Testament Jesus is both loved and hated because his welcome -- which he understood as a direct extension of God's welcome -- included everyone.
This It Gets Better video is a major step for Seventh-day Adventists. Though it doesn't presume to speak for all Adventists or the official church, it does represent a trend toward the love and compassion of Jesus being more fully displayed in Adventist congregations. In an important sense, the appearance of this video is, itself, an evidence that it does get better.
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Barbara Dozetos: Why the LGBT Media Matters
I attended Forest Lake Academy and Southern Adventist University and will admit there is a change within the overall attitude towards our community. I am proud of my sexuality and know this is how I was created. This recognition did not come easily and the church's beliefs and attitudes towards LGBT community had a significantly negative impact psychologically. It took some time to become an authentic and whole person.
Until the Church moves towards complete acceptance and integrating all community members regardless of who they are they, the Church fails it ultimate mandate--to serve and meet the needs of our community, as Christ lived and practiced. Frankly, the Seventh-Day Adventist Church is still divided with separate conferences for different ethnic groups, a practice that seems oddly familiar of the days of segregation. Maybe it has changed but I think if you look to the current church leadership you may still find them consisting of older white men. Where is your current Ellen G. White for today? I think you have lost your message and your way!
The true power of Christ compels us to action--action that may require one to give up all they have for doing the right thing but I see no one in the Church Leadership speaking against this clear violation of civil rights or admonishing this type of hatred. Rather, they sit secure in the fact that they know God's Law and what is moral and correct.
He mentioned that he wasn't married. "Oh. So how do you refer to each other?"
"We're partners."
A few days later, after completing a task, he looked at me with firm conviction, explained that his partner was "not a woman."
I was embarrassed. How could I have made such an assumption. I apologized over and over. A tremendous conversation developed about his early life in church, his marriage, his son, and how he began to come to grips with his homosexuality. It was an amazing story - I love stories and I love how people express their version of "the meaning of life."
The thoughts of suicide, the pain, the harassment, the ostracizing - lots of pain in the journey. But to me, the worst part of the story was how his church disfellowshipped him - and the incredible pain associated with the mistreatment he received.
The powerful and positive part I heard is that my coworker/friend is still seeking God. He's given up on the Church, but he wants to know God.
I hope "The Church" can adapt and provide a better avenue for these people to find Him.
So perhaps, for LGBT members in the Seventh Day Adventist Church, it might not get better any time soon. Change to the official position is discussed like this: "Despite the church’s official position on homosexuality, some influential thought leaders in the church are urging the church to abandon its biblical position." http://www.drpipim.org/homosexuality-contemporaryissues-47/38-the-official-seventh-day-adventist-position-on-homosexuality.html
Understanding homosexuality as discussed in the Bible requires good historical and cultural understandings. Knowing the differences between conceptions of sexuality then and now are important in the discussion. But people who simply take the text at face value and do not remember the culture and world view of the people receiving the original message make serious application and interpretive errors. They will never see it. They never do.
What makes you think that your religion gives you the "right" to discriminate? America was not founded on Christianity. We, as a country, do not have any sort of "approved", "acknowledged" National Religion. Christianity doesn't have any more validity in trying to dictate policy to the government than Mormonism, Judaism or Islam has. In other words, ZERO. You can sit there & quote your Big Book of Religious Myths all day long, but unfortunately for you, it has no bearing on GLBT rights.
Stop trying to use your religion as a basis for your discrimination. Your holy book and your religion do not confer any special rights to you. It doesn't set you above anyone else & it doesn't make you special. And it certainly doesn't make you any more qualified to deny rights to a group of people because of what you think it says in your holy book.
Slowly but surely homosexuals are getting the rights they deserve. As it should be.
Yes, because no one likes a church where people *gasp* love their neighbors! God forbid people showing affection towards each other!