Last night I was walking home from the L, toward
Wrigley Field
, just as the Chicago Cubs game was letting out. There
were crowds on the street and sidewalk walking toward
me. As I got near our place, I started to get
vigilant. We've had problems with people walking on
the parkway (the garden area between the sidewalk and
street). There are several transgressions to watch
for: They walk on the flagstones that frame the
parkway, dislodging them. They walk on the dirt, and
thus trample the plants. They let their dogs trample
the plants. They let their dogs relieve themselves on
the plants. We think that our bushes turned brown and
died from urine poisoning. Last night a guy had his
golden retriever on a leash and was letting the dog
walk in the yard. My husband L and I and my visiting
friend D planted white and red-striped petunias there.
In the dark you can't see which is the mulch (which
several of us spread on Condo Day) and which are the
plants. So I said, very casually and calmly (you have
to believe me on this): Your dog's walking on our
flowers. No he's not, he said. We planted them, I
said. We don't want them to get trampled. They kept on
walking, though stepping out of the yard and onto the
sidewalk. Now they were past me. The young woman with
them turned around and said, You should put up a sign
if you don't want people to walk there. I couldn't
believe this. Doesn't a frame of flagstones around
flowers and plants signify Garden -- Don't Smoosh? I
felt anger and frustration boiling in me and so I
yelled as loudly as I could, so loudly that it hurt my
throat for about 10 minutes afterward (I haven't
learned to yell from my diaphragm), I yelled the thing
I yell when I can't stand someone and want to baffle:
Que'est-ce que j'ai fait pour meriter ca? I say it
fast and self-righteously. I want the person to know I
detest him and I also want to confuse him. I wouldn't
mind if he felt stupid, either. I'd like him to feel
stupid. It means: What did I do to deserve this? I
want to sow confusion among my enemies, and they were
my enemies, for a moment. That's why I prefer, when a
stranger makes me angry, to give him the peace sign
or, if I have two hands available, to form a circle or
triangle with my two thumbs and pointer fingers. I
want to be superior.
If I were a better person, I would mean it when I make
the V peace sign. But I don't.
Last night I thought about yelling about my cancer but
it didn't seem relevant. I guess I could have tried:
Mais j'ai le cancer! Je suis malade! But that doesn't
have the same punch. I don't think. Or: Don't walk on
my flowers, I have cancer! But then it would seem that
not wanting people to step on your plants was some
sort of quirk, a side effect of chemo.
Once when we saw a guy letting his dog roam in the
yard, L said something to him, and the guy retorted:
You ought to move to the suburbs. As if we were such
property-proud bourgeois that we shouldn't live in the
city. I thought later of telling the guy that L has
lived in Gary, Indiana, for 30 years and no one walked
on his flowers there. That's as gritty a city as they
come, no huge lawns or picket (or electric) fences, no
No Trespassing signs, and people don't feel the need
to trample other people's flowers. Here in our dense
North Side neighborhood people steal flowers in pots
and in those little plastic containers as they're
waiting to be planted. People have cut roses off my
neighbor's rose bush. They tore down and stole the
American flag that we had up in front after 9/11. I
had been against putting up the flag, but I recognized
random vandalism when I saw it. They key our cars
parked on the street. They smash car windows in order
to get a few pennies inside. They stole L's bike out
of his trunk. They pee in the alley. They yell into
the night and throw their beer cans wherever they
happen to land. Then they throw up on the sidewalk.
In the great scheme of things, these are minor
complaints, crimes against property. I hear a
right-wing curmudgeon in my head lamenting the decline
of civil society. People have been uncivil since the
dawn of civilization. As they say, just NIMBY.
Or front yard.