08/24/2008 06:40 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Ciao For Now

I have decided the best way to observe the Democratic Convention is from a luxury cruise ship in the Western Caribbean. That's where I'll be the entire length and breadth of the introduction of Barack Obama as a presidential nominee. I have attended conventions and except for a few magic moments,it is a stretch. The magic moments are transcendent,however,I'll give you that. Since I will not be on the scene,I will spend my time chatting up fellow passengers in the most innocuous way about politics. I have to be careful. I am with these folks for a week,there is no getting away,so I plan to keep it gentle. The first sign of "I think he's a Muslim", and I excuse myself to thumb wrestle with Captain Steubing (Love,exciting and new.....).

I think I can get a peep at the proceedings from the ship,but even if I can't, I wanted to show my gratitude to the fine folks at Huffington Post by sharing my thoughts about a few items in a brief yet snappy way. Happy Labor Day.

Ten and Amen

1)If Limbaugh can't be fired for making cruel jest at Michael J. Fox and Elizabeth Edwards, blind infants should beware.

2)If Fox News didn't exist,Corsi and Coulter would be sharing a carnival booth at a Christian school fundraiser.

3)I figured out William Kristol's key to success: smile like a demented loon,and no one will mess with you.

4)If you think Obama is a Muslim and John McCain understands the economic picture,you deserve to lose your house.

5)Roseanne Barr created a singularly wonderful situation comedy, but marrying Tom Arnold disqualifies her from weighing in on Pitt and Jolie, or Martin and Lewis for that matter.

6)If Roger Ailes told Bill O'Reilly he couldn't work at Fox News AND sell umbrellas and golf balls on his website,would he stay there?

7)George W. Bush saying "I don't see America having problems" has replaced "What Me Worry?".

8)The people who are upset that Hillary Clinton isn't the nominee ought to think about how the people who busted their behinds for John Edwards feel.

9)If the story of this election was written by Dickens,Lieberman would be Uriah Heep. I Googled 'Lieberman' and discovered it is Hebrew for unctuous.

10)Maureen Dowd wrote a column where Hillary colluded with McCain,and yet I felt no ironic twinge.

Enjoy your friends and family.