07/07/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Four Sad People

1) Elizabeth Hasselbeck

It is disturbing to listen to someone under forty sound off like an old biddy on issues about which she is phenomenally ignorant. It is even worse when it is evoked in a loud nasal tone. It REALLY gets bad when a woman who is where she is because of her looks makes a vicious and unforgivably dense remark about a woman who was the victim of a sexual predator. Put them all together and you have Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Add to this the fact that the remark and subsequent apology appeared to be staged (all the way down to her crocodile tears) and you have one of the many reasons I urge people to examine their souls before they watch The View.

2) John McCain

McCain showed himself to be a cornucopia of mediocrity during the 2008 campaign. Mistakes, malapropisms, missteps; he should have renamed his bus the 3M Express (apologies to Monsanto). Now he is embroiled in a tight senate race with an opponent who equates gay marriage to betrothal to a horse. Here's my advice to John McCain: go after this yutz. Here are some suggestions:

"My opponent must be a horse expert, since he talks like a jackass."

"I challenge my opponent's citizenship, since he is speaking in idiot."

"My opponent must support evolution, since only a monkey could agree with him."

Your enemies won't like you anyway, so why not be what you now deny you are--a maverick?

3) George Rekers

Rekers is the founder of some right wing homophobic enclave that thinks that gays can be "changed" with the help of Jesus. Well, Rekers better start praying, since he was touring Europe with a companion he obtained from Seriously. He said that he was trying to convince the young man to abandon his gay ways and because of recent surgery, he needed help with his luggage. Oh, George! First, the kid said you slept with him. Oops! Second, I saw a picture of this guy. daughter could lift more luggage than this svelte waif, and she is eleven.

Maybe Rekers meant something else when he said he wanted someone to hold his bags.

4) Joe Lieberman

After his VP run that saw Joe, a Jewish man, unable to garner votes in South Florida, Lieberman, is leaning so far right that his Seder question ends with "Why on this night do we not stay in the center?" After all, that's where the food is. His latest trip to Goofyville is to strip people of their citizenship BEFORE they are convicted of a crime. No one thinks this is a good idea except the bill's co-sponsor Scott Brown, whose answer to every question is "I drive a truck." (I hope this wasn't his pickup line as a bachelor.)

It is sad to see people treated as a joke when they are trying to be serious, but on the other hand, thanks for the laughs.

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