I Hate To Say This...

09/01/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

But if you think the "liberal" media make up everything they write about Sarah Palin, you're not reading, you just have a fetish for middle aged women who look like cheerleaders.

But if you think Barack Obama was born in Kenya, you are willfully ignorant.

But if you think that the majority of illegal immigrants are gangsters,you secretly wish they were Swedish,so you could welcome them with open arms.

But if you decide to go to a public forum and scream your views out like some redneck moron, you deserve to be arrested for creating a public disturbance,and serve time in Angola State Penintentiary loading sacks of mud to fortify levees near New Orleans.

But if you think that the answer to the health care crisis is to send poor people to emergency rooms, you are virtually lost in the Sea of Duh.

But if you are anti-choice and pro-death penalty,it is not about life and death,it is about not getting enough oxygen to your brain.

But if you think insurance companies are on the right side in the health care issue, I hope you lose your coverage so I can ask you how you like it now.

But if you think the NRA is on the right side of the Constitution, don't move to the inner city where illegal guns take the lives of children, even yours. It guarantees "life" first,right Rush?

But if you voted for Mark Sanford,Newt Gingrich,John Ensign, or David Vitter,you must feel like an enormous sap. If you don't,you should.

But if you ever smoked pot AND favor strict penalties for recreational drug usage,you should serve time retroactively.