Pop Quiz for the People

Dina Lohan did not know how many times her daughter Lindsay had been to rehab (4) because:
a)She was busy at work.
b)She was preoccupied with her other child.
c)She thought Matt Lauer was a bartender and instinctively responded "make it two."

Newt Gingrich praised China's tax policies because:
a)It has helped their economy.
b)He was showing off his knowledge of the tax codes.
c)He admires their shabby treatment of seriously ill women.

Kathie Lee Gifford drinks wine during her Today Show hour because:
a)It helps her relax.
b)A wine company is a sponsor.
c)She thought Jesus had turned it into water.

Laura Schlessinger made racially provocative remarks because:
a)She doesn't know any Black people.
b)She was trying to create dialogue.
c)Her degree in physiology gives her knowledge of being a pain in the ass.

Conservatives are upset with President Obama's endorsement of a mosque near Ground Zero because:
a)It insults the memory of 9/11.
b)Islam is a religion filled with terrorists.
c)He is Barack Obama.

Same-sex marriage is ironic because:
a)The public really doesn't care.
b)It is a personal issue.
c)One gay marriage is one more than the combined marriages of Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, Monica Crowley, and Matt Drudge

The GOP wants tax cuts because:
a)It helps the rich, the base of the party
b)Their campaign coffers are filled with money from fat cats.
c)People angry about their lot in life are ready to blame anyone but themselves.
d)All of the above.

Baseball looked the other way on steroids because:
a)Home run hitters help attendance.
b)It was hard to detect.
c)Nothing says success like one guy literally lifting his whole team.

Marijuana legalization is a good idea because:
a)It provides tax relief
b)It prevents incarceration for victimless crimes.
c)I forgot the first two choices.