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10 Things Parents Just Don't Understand About Teens

Posted: 07/11/2012 3:14 pm

24 years ago, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) dropped their timeless teen anthem "Parents Just Don't Understand." More than two decades later, parents still buy us clothes that seem like they're "from 1963," and claim that we "don't need" friends who laugh at our "Brady-bunch trousers." But even the Fresh Prince (now an awesome parent himself, by the way) would have been horrified to see the things parents don't understand about teens today. It turns out he was right: "Parents are the same no matter time nor place." Without further adieu, here are 10 of the most annoying things parents just don't understand about teens today.

1. Parents just don't understand that not all teens like Justin Bieber and One Direction.

Parents, sure a ton of teens are Beliebers and Directioners (just look at how many followers they have on Twitter!), but I can assure you, there are plenty of us who aren't exactly happy about the fact that if Biebs were our boyfriend, he would never let us go. And there are many of us who would run away if we saw five British boys chasing after us on the beach. So, to all the parents who are thinking about what to get their teens for their birthdays, ask us before buying the new Justin Bieber perfume at Macy's.

2. Parents just don't understand that we know they weren't perfect in high school, either.

Parents, when you get mad at us for staying out past our curfew and going out with our friends on the weekends, stop pretending you weren't doing the same things when you were teens. We have all seen the hair you guys tried to pull off in the '80s. And if those weren't "out past your curfew" boots, then I don't know what were.

3. Parents just don't understand that they don't need to apologize for cursing...

Parents, as nice as it is that you guys try to protect the innocence of our ears, you really don't have to apologize for cursing. Believe us, we've heard curse words before. In fact, we need curse words to get us through bad test scores and annoying classes. So, when you forget I'm in the car and curse out the driver next to you for cutting into your lane, please don't apologize. Thanks!

4. Parents just don't understand that we've heard worse than Howard Stern.

Similarly, parents, you don't have to change the channel on the radio or the TV whenever Howard Stern comes on the screen. Right when you leave the room, we can stream his radio show or watch America's Got Talent on the computer. No need to be martyrs. We can all enjoy Howard together.

5. Parents just don't understand that we don't "Twitter." We tweet.

Parents, you would never say that we should "books." You would say that we should "read books." So don't tell us to stop "twittering." If you are going to pester us about what we do on the Internet, at least use the correct verb and tell us to "stop tweeting."

6. Parents just don't understand why we would want to make our photos look "old."

Parents, we get that you might be self-conscious about aging. That's totally normal! But seriously, when we make photos look old on Instagram or Hypstamatic, we aren't giving ourselves wrinkles and turning our hair gray. Aging photos and aging middle-aged parents are not the same thing. We make our photos black and white because old photos look cool. Unlike old people. Unless, of course, they are named Betty White.

7. Parents just don't understand that a movie being rated "R" won't prevent us from going to see it.

Seriously, parents, how do you think The Hangover did so well if no teens under the age of 18 lied about how old they were on Fandango to buy tickets? As much as we like acronyms (LOL, OMG, JK) we don't really care about what the MPAA has to say about what movies we're allowed to see.

8. Parents just don't understand that we find it creepy when they give us the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

Parents, we don't need your endorsement to look at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. We are just as weirded out by the prospect of you thinking that we would enjoy looking at those pictures as you are by the prospect of us enjoying looking at those pictures. So please keep the Sports Illustrated with Kate Upton on the cover wherever you keep the Sports Illustrated with Lebron on the cover. Thanks.


9. Parents just don't understand that we know what going away to "celebrate their anniversary" means.

No explanation needed. Ew.

10. Parents just don't understand that we honestly do love them.

No matter how annoying they are or how much they don't understand, we know how much they love us. And we love them back.

 

Follow Sam Koppelman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/sammykoppelman

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24 years ago, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) dropped their timeless teen anthem "Parents Just Don't Understand." More than two decades later, parents still buy us clothes that seem like...
24 years ago, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) dropped their timeless teen anthem "Parents Just Don't Understand." More than two decades later, parents still buy us clothes that seem like...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
yumitori
01:40 PM on 08/16/2012
Very amusing. Though he forgot #11 -

11. Parents just don't understand that sometimes a teenager posts 'Parents just don't understand' lists to be humorous.

Seriously. This isn't serious.
07:28 PM on 08/14/2012
Come on, guys. I'm pretty sure this was intended to a humorous article. I don't know why everyone seems to be taking it so seriously. Then again, maybe the only reason I find it so humorous is because I'm a teenager myself. Who knows.
11:19 PM on 07/20/2012
This is one teens view of what parents don't understand. Going through his list, though, I found it laughable. I'm a grandparent who spends a lot of time with my 11-year old granddaughter. Very little of what THIS teen mentioned makes sense to me. I understand it all. Maybe his parents don't for any number of reasons (could they have locked themselves in their homes?) but every family and family dynamic is different. There are many clueless parents, just as there are many parents who know the difference between Twitter and a Tweet (though parents might not understand why some teens bully with their Tweets or tell others (the world!!!) things so personal they would like to retract their Tweet (which they can't). I respect this teens opinion. I just don't agree with him.
08:14 AM on 07/14/2012
Wow. These are seriously "first world problems". Not buying Justin Bieber perfume? Using the wrong adjective for Twitter? Puhleeze.
06:24 PM on 07/13/2012
Sam, as the mom of two teens, I would like to thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your essay. Anything that helps me to understand my girls better is welcome. Keep on writing!
02:38 PM on 07/13/2012
Actually, parents not understanding can be a LOT worse than this... seriously? If there were someone's issues, I'd say they have pretty good parents. How about, "My parents don't support me in my career or who I want to be with"? Those are serious things that parents don't get!
Whereas I've never faced this with my parents, fact is, a lot of adults are pretty bad judges of character. Like my middle school teachers. Goodness, they were so WRONG about me! They didn't get me AT ALL, and made my life pretty difficult. It took me a long time to realize that I'm the smart one, I'm the one who's right, and they are at best VERY bad at their job. I can only imagine how much worse it would have been if my parents had been like that
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bentenrai
The guy who fixes stuff everybody's given up on.
02:22 PM on 07/13/2012
One thing all parents in Madagascar invariably tell their teenagers at one time or another:
"Give birth, and you shall see."
Parents are not perfect, many are even clueless, but most of us understand more than this article gives us credit for, because we have all been in your shoes before and have the benefit of hindsight.
Sure times change, technology changes, but people don't.
10:41 PM on 07/12/2012
many of these are true; parent's don't understand that this is a lighthearted blog not a post aimed at criticizing parents...my parent's say "twittering", don't let me go to R rated movies, and got me a justin bieber lawn critter for my 16th birthday even though im not a fan. so everyone freaking out, calm down.
02:59 PM on 07/15/2012
Exactly what I was thinking after reading a few overly serious and self-justifying responses from parents as soon as I started reading the comments section. Easy, folks -- this blog entry was never meant to address third world problems, tackle problems with the underfunding of inner city schools, or justify the ways of God to man, so don't burden it with those expectations.

And for heaven's sake, lighten up! Your kids are watching! Do you want them to think a percentage of you well worth noticing is hyper-defensive or has no sense of humor or perspective? Why prove what they may at this point only suspect?
10:06 PM on 07/12/2012
One thing I don't understand, but am completely grateful for anyway is that my kids are crazzazy about the Beatles, Guns and Roses, Bob Marley, Santana, Jimi.... If this is their form of rebellion, I'll take it! ((Hmm, must remember to scowl and shout "Turn down that noise!" more often)).
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
geauxangel
04:27 AM on 07/13/2012
My girls are now 18 and 21 and also love the Beatles and Jimi Hendrix...I'm glad they despise Bieber because I can't stand him either!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onwisconsin
Trust women; protect choice.
08:56 PM on 07/12/2012
What teenager supposedly wrote this? Not one with any real issues, that's for sure. We work with high school kids who are putting themselves through school because their parents walked out on them or are in jail. These kids are worried about rent and what's coming down the road (i.e. if they'll have a chance at a future).
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08:33 PM on 07/12/2012
Someday, Sam, you're going to read this...
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Morgan Kell
06:48 PM on 07/12/2012
If these are his issues he is going to have a rough life.
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American Subversive
Free markets are beneficial to ruling class only.
06:20 PM on 07/12/2012
11. Parents like...don't like....know what we're like, talking about. I'm just sayin'!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hagagaga
You can't take the sky from me.
06:18 PM on 07/12/2012
1. Really? I'm seventeen. My sister is fourteen. My parents are well aware that neither of us like either of those. I've made it a point not to even bother finding out what the hell "One Direction" is.

2. Yes, that's why until I graduated my mother kept telling me how her father WAS perfect in high school (valedictorian).

3. My parents don't apologize.

4. Yes, they certainly realize that.

5. I don't think my parents have ever had significant conversations with me that involved Twitter.

6. I don't care how old I look. I just cared that I looked good in my JROTC uniform and starting very soon, my New Mexico Military Institute uniform.

7. They know that very well. I don't watch movies, I prefer video games. They haven't had any objections to me playing M-rated games in a very long time.

8. I don't remember ever receiving that. I don't know what I would do with it either. If I wanted to see minimally-dressed women, I have the internet. They know that and they've accepted that they can't stop me.

9. I don't think I've ever heard that phrase.
03:07 PM on 07/15/2012
His blog entry wasn't really about you. Your word choice and effort to address each point in turn, as if responding to a questionnaire or series of accusations, implies either that it was or should have been (especially #8: "I don't remember ever receiving that."). I know this is hard for most people to believe -- maybe teenagers all the more? -- but not everything is about you. Anything addressing a group is not about you, personally, not just by default but by definition.
04:49 PM on 07/12/2012
Good luck America!. Doesn't look good. disappointing..All these enetertainment refernces?