THE BLOG
09/27/2012 06:18 pm ET Updated Nov 27, 2012

How to Live Together and Actually Get Along

Shutterstock

Living with another person is always complicated, especially when you are having a romantic relationship. On the one hand, playing house can be a lot of fun. On the other hand, the day-to-day of it can get very complicated. Here is some advice on how to live together and actually get along:

Make sure you give each other time to settle in and get used to living with each other. Perfect is not going to happen overnight, and maybe the goal of perfect is too daunting and "really great" should be just fine.

Make sure to communicate about your expectations for living together. This means thinking about what living together means to you. Is it sharing everything all the time, or it is more of a codependent independence? You should spend time together, but also grant each other some alone time. Everyone needs their time to take a breath and be with themselves so that no one feels smothered.

Discuss having a household finance fund that you both use to get household items that you are both sharing in the home. This is helpful, so that when you need more toilet paper or detergent, one of you can just go and get it without discussing whose turn it is to pay for it or asking for money.

Divvy up who does the bills each month if neither of you wants to do them completely. In some relationships, there is that one person who is excellent at paying bills, makes a spreadsheet on the costs of everything and can tell you to the penny how much everything costs. If one of you is that person, then by all means, let that person take care of the bills. However, if neither of you are great at it, share the responsibility, so neither person feels too put out.

Share the household chores. Sometimes this is easier said than done, because usually one person is much neater than the other. However, no one likes to feel like the maid. As a result, it will feel more fair if you share the chores even if that means that you do most of the cleaning but your guy always takes out the trash and empties the dishwasher.

Don't have expectations about sex. Some people think that if they move in with their significant other, this automatically means sex every night. This might happen in the beginning because its so easy to do it, however, after the novelty wears off, the two of you will need to get into a rhythm that works for both of you in this department.

Be prepared for a lot of kinks -- and allow yourself time to work them out. If anyone tells you living with someone is easy, they are not being truthful because it is hard for two people to agree on everything. You need to be willing to compromise and work on the relationship.

Agree to disagree on some things. It is inevitable that there are going to be some things in your home that you just aren't going to agree about. Watching TV in bed before falling asleep, waking up with music or an alarm, going to sleep late, getting up early, leaving dishes in the sink when you don't feel like doing them; it is natural to disagree on things like this so don't get upset, just accept it.

Realize that it is not always going to be your way. In the relationship, perhaps he gave into you more than vice versa. However, when you are living together, since it is both of your home, he might not be so quick to give in on everything. Pick your spots and let your beau win sometimes too.

Consider making a list of house rules. This might sound silly at first, but if you both spend the time to contribute to it, then you both will be happier in the long run. Make sure to highlight your needs as well as hers so that it feels even and fair.

Samantha Daniels is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert. She is the President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, a bicoastal matchmaking service which caters exclusively to busy, successful professionals who have no trouble getting dates, but who have yet to find that one person with whom to spend the rest of their lives. She is also the author of "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd. You can also follow her on her Curator page on OpenSky, where you can get advice and picks for shopping from Celebrities.

Subscribe to the In(formation) email.
The reality of being a woman — by the numbers.