Have you ever wondered if the girl you are dating is just too difficult to date long-term?
Here's what I know...
1. If you like someone, you should not write them off at the first sign of bad behavior. Instead, you should take that behavior under advisement and pay attention to whether or not it was a one-time thing or if this is just her.
2. A woman should not act entitled when she is dating you. I hear complaints from a lot of men that women have certain expectations of how a man is going to treat her, take her, buy her and if she doesn't get exactly what she is expecting, she cops an attitude. A woman should be appreciative of whatever you do, whether or not it's what she was expecting and if she isn't, you should think twice about staying with her.
3. A woman should not change the plans that you take the time to plan. She should not "diss" the plan you hatched for her and then change it to something else. Ladies, if you do this, your guy is going to think twice before planning anything again. Men need to feel appreciated.
4. A woman should say thank you after a date that you spent a lot of time planning. There is definitely an ongoing debate about saying thank you the day after a date. The problem is men don't really know what is motivating a woman to reach out the next day, politeness or manipulation. Ladies, it's nice to say thank you the day after, but just say "thank you," leave the suggestion of getting together again to him. And men, if she says thank you the night of the date when you drop her off and she seems like a polite person by nature, do not write her off because she doesn't say thank you a second time the next day- she might just be trying to give you the opportunity to make the next move.
5. A woman should not insist on reading your emails. A lot of men tell me that some women will insist that if there is complete trust in their relationship, they should be able to read all of his emails. This is crossing the line. If there is actual trust in the relationship, then she should trust you well enough not to have to monitor your mail.
6. A woman should not have more than one "I have to answer that call" person when you are out on a date. A lot of women will insist that they "have to answer" many calls during a date. It is acceptable to answer the phone during a date if it's a true emergency, but things like what happened on Gossip Girl or what a friend bought at Bergdorfs does not rise up to true necessities. It is not acceptable for her to spend more time on the phone than time talking to you. This is awful behavior.
7. A woman should not criticize your every move and try to change everything about you, at least not right away. A woman should love you for all that you are and all that you are not. If you are dating a woman who finds fault with everything about you, you might want to spend some time evaluating why she is dating you in the first place.
8. A woman should not clean house of your friends. Of course a new gal in your life is not going to love all of your friends, but they are your friends nonetheless and are part of the package of dating you. If you are dating a woman who wants to get rid of your friends, you should think about why she is doing this and whether or not you want to be with a woman who won't let you maintain your own life while being with her at the same time.
Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).
Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Matchmakersd
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