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Samantha Daniels

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Matchmaker in the Know: Dating and Good New Year's Resolutions

Posted: 01/07/2010 2:56 pm

Have you ever wondered what other single people are resolving to do or not do in the world of dating as they go into a new year?

Here's what I know...

1. A lot of people resolve to get married, to make this the year that they actually walk down the aisle in holy matrimony at the Plaza Hotel, go on a honeymoon to Fiji and move into their dream apartment on Park Avenue. If you are making this type of resolution, you might consider dialing it back a bit and resolve something with less pressure, and something that is more attainable. I would recommend that you resolve getting into a loving monogamous relationship that could lead to marriage as opposed to marriage itself. A lot of times if your resolutions are too lofty, they will overwhelm you and ultimately backfire.

2. A lot of people resolve to get rid of their "booty call person." We all have had them in our lives over the years, that person about whom we have no real relationship interest, that person who we drunk dial at 1:00 a.m. from Avenue and that person who we call on a rainy night while watching the movie The American President for the 15th time when we are looking for a little bit of action. It's fine to have this person in your life as long as you are absolutely certain that it is sex only and there are no emotions attached.

3. A lot of people resolve to stop dating "jerky people." Many people feel that over the past year they have been treated poorly or in a sub-par way by one or more people so they resolve to care about themselves more and not let anyone treat them like crap. If you have been in such a situation, the time is now to promise yourself not continue that pattern. You deserve to be respected.

4. A lot of people resolve to get rid of that "crutch" guy or girl in their life. You know the type - that person with whom you are not in a monogamous relationship but who you have been seeing "on and off" for years and that person who you know deep down is not "the One" yet you can't let him or her go. It is important to really remove such a person from your life right now, so that you will actually move forward and try to find someone else who could be the right one for you.

5. A lot of people resolve to be more social. This is an excellent resolution because the only way you are going to meet someone is if you try to meet someone. You need to be "out there" to make it happen. My grandmother always said, "If you get invited, you go because you never know who you are going to meet." These are good words to live by.

6. A lot of people resolve to get out of dead-end relationships, meaning relationships that are stagnant and not moving in a positive or fruitful direction. It's very easy to become complacent in a mediocre relationship. After all, it's nice to have "that person" in your life, that person who is your last call of the night, someone with whom to cuddle and someone to whom you can turn. However, if the relationship just feels stale meaning that you are not having good sex or even any sex at all, if you are fighting all the time, if you are not seeing eye to eye on most things and/or if you are not moving towards marriage if that is something you want, the time is now to get out. Just think you have 350 plus days to find a new and great relationship. In the beginning of a new year and a new decade, the possibilities should feel endless.


Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).

 

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