Have you ever wondered what is really going on during a drunken phone call from the guy you are dating?
Here's what I know:
1. Men get clingy when they are drunk. If they need reassuring, give it to them immediately so their mind doesn't go wandering to all sorts of crazy ideas.
2. Men get belligerent when they are drunk. If your guy calls you drunk and starts being a real jerk, do not take it personally, it's probably the alcohol talking. And yes, some people do say that people speak their truth under the influence, but this doesn't mean that he also can't be a jerk for jerk -sakes without an underlying motive.
3. Men like to have phone sex when they are drunk. This doesn't mean that you both have to get off on the call, but a lot of men like to hear what you are wearing and what you would like them to do to you next time they see you. Even if you are sitting in ripped sweatpants, fib a little and describe a slinky lacy teddy that is on your naked body and then think about what you read in that Harlequin romance when you were 15 years old and give him a few lines about next time the two of you are in bed. Remember he is drunk so his expectations will be low.
4. Men like to confess their feelings when they are drunk. A lot of men find it easier to say how much they like you when they are under the influence. If your guy is this type of guy, let him confess. Do not beat him up for "only being able to do it when he is drunk", just listen and be happy to be hearing it.
5. Men like to pick fights when they are drunk. Do not buy into it. If he comes out swinging verbally, just tease him and don't engage. It takes two to argue and if you don't participate, he will soon give up.
6. Men get very defensive when they are drunk. Do not keep saying to him "you are so drunk" or you are "too" drunk. He will just deny it and get angry with you. Just accept his drunkeness as fact as long as you know he is safe and as long as this is only an occasional occurrence.
7. Men like to test their lady while they are drunk. Men like to see if you can handle them drunk and they also like to see if you will say the right things to them while they are saying nonsensical things to you. You need to quickly figure out what the test is and then just pass it and move on. If he needs to know that you love him and he asks you 15 times if you do, just say so, so he can move on. And if he needs you to tell him how hot he is, don't discuss this, just do it because your guy obviously needs this reassurance for some reason.
Samantha Daniels is a well known Professional Matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon & Schuster).