Relationships are a little prickly. Some days things are great and other days, you feel like your relationship is going to end imminently. Sometimes you feel like you are the luckiest person alive because you have finally found your soulmate and other days, you find yourself wondering what you ever saw in him in the first place. However, setting your own feelings of sometime indecision aside, do you ever find yourself obsessing over what he is thinking? Wondering if he is truly happy in the relationship or if he might just up and leave you for a shinier, brighter, newer model?
I am a professional matchmaker and here are some things to consider if you are trying to figure out if he is around for the long-haul or angling to jump ship as soon as he has the opportunity:
-A woman's intuition is very strong and often times correct; if you sense he is walking towards the door, he probably is thinking about it.
-You need to watch for signs that he is in it for the long haul. Does he call you his girlfriend? Do you operate like a single unit? Is there an "us" mentality or a "me" mentality?
-You need to notice how he acts with you with regard to his friends. Does he bring you around them a lot, does he talk about you to them? Does he brag about you to them? These are all good signs. Or do they barely know your name?
-You need to notice how he acts with you with regard to his family. Would he/does he stick up for you with his family? Does he talk about you with pride and admiration to his family? Have you even met his family?
-You need to notice if he gets nervous and apologetic when the two of you fight and you threaten to break up with him or if he seems relieved that you are going to end it.
-You need to notice if he sticks around when the chips are down like if you are having a bad day, you lose your job, you are sick, you have a big issue with your family, etc. You need to notice if he is willing to put aside his life when you need him the most.
-You need to notice how he interacts with other women. He wouldn't be a man if he didn't notice other women occasionally, but you need to notice how he is noticing other women. Does he look at them with a look of longing or does he just notice them in passing before his attention comes right back to you?
-You need to notice if he defends you to others and is on your side with most things or do you feel like he is constantly your enemy and always against you?
-You need to notice if he is willing to do things you want to do that he doesn't really want to do. Men are only willing to set aside what they want if they are very into you, otherwise, they just do what they want and don't care how you feel about it.
Samantha Daniels is a well known professional matchmaker, President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking and the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). You can read more from Samantha on her personal blog, Matchmaker in the Know.