Everyone wants to be in a romantic relationship, and everyone has an idea in their head of what the perfect relationship should be. However, most of the time, we end up in relationships that never resemble what we thought we would have, and we start to wonder whether or not this is okay. Usually, the answer surfaces when we compare our relationship to other people's and try to figure out if ours is better, worse or the same. Of course, we can never make this determination because one never knows what goes on behind closed doors and what is actually normal. If you are wondering if your relationship is normal, here are some pointers so you can figure that out...
1. Relationships are difficult, no matter what. If someone tells you otherwise, they are lying, or they aren't in a relationship.
2. Your relationship is normal as long as it works for you and your partner. Talk to your significant other about what "normal" means to him or her. As long as the two of you are on the same page and being true to yourselves and what you really want, it doesn't matter what others think. In today's day and age, there is no normal; our society is all about "anything goes."
3. Don't get caught up in peer pressure. If marriage isn't for you, but a monogamous committed relationship is, go ahead and have that relationship. As long as you and your partner are being honest about what you both really want and you are not pressuring each other, embrace the relationship that you are choosing to have.
4. If you aren't in a relationship but you want to build a family, that is perfectly okay. Single parents are very of the norm today; if it works for you, go for it.
5. Look around you and really notice other people's relationships. Not what you imagine them to be, but what they really are. No one's relationship is perfect, so don't think that you are alone in the fact that you have some issues with yours sometimes.
6. Don't believe "the grass is greener" elsewhere. You might wish some aspect of your best friend or colleague's relationship were part of yours, but I promise, there are many aspects of other people's relationship that you would never want.
7. Spend some time being thankful for what you have, instead of wanting something different. If you focus on your own relationship, you will see how happy things there make you.
8. If you think that your relationship is not "normal," then you need to have a discussion with your significant other and figure out ways to alter it that will make you happier. You need to be true to yourself and to your feelings.
9. Everybody disagrees and argues from time to time. This is common in any relationship. Your relationship would not be a a real relationship if there weren't some rocky days. It's okay to love him one day and hate her the next; that's "normal" because relationships are challenging. They can also be very worth it.
10. As much as normal comes in all different relationship packages, keep in mind that you should be having more happy days than sad ones in your relationship. Yes it's "normal" to argue, but it is not normal to argue everyday and it is not "normal" to spend more time feeling unhappy than you do feeling happy?
Samantha Daniels is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert. She is the President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, a bicoastal matchmaking service which caters exclusively to busy, successful professionals who have no trouble getting dates, but who have yet to find that one person with whom to spend the rest of their lives. She is also the author of "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). You can follow her on Twitter@Matchmakersd. You can also follow her on her Curator page on OpenSky where you can get advice and picks for shopping from Celebrities.
Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Matchmakersd
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Relationships are tough. They are a lot of work. Sometimes when you're raising a family, trying to provide a good life, running around like a chicken without a head, your relationship gets put on the back burner. When that happens you have to recognize it, and make it a priority. Sometimes you have to go get some help.
I found it interesting that you wrote, "it is not "normal" to spend more time feeling unhappy than you do feeling happy", my mother told me about 20 years ago, keep a calendar, put on a smile on each day that was a good one a frown on those that were not, if you have more smiles than frowns, stop whining and be grateful.
You mean every woman wants to be in a romantic relationship. Most men would want to watch TV first and go to sleep after.